The Contradiction of Meh

So I was kind of complaining yesterday about how I had enough of my free time yesterday, but now I am back at work and I wish I had my free time back. This always happens, just wanted to point it out is all. I contradicted myself.

I actually don't mind being back, just that coming back to work makes me remember all of the stuff I had a chance to forget about for a while. For example one of my co-workers is probably going to be terminated soon which is just sad frankly, but nothing more. I have a never ending supply of work to deal with which is good and bad I suppose. Good because it keeps me employed, bad because it isn't anything I really want to work on or it is rather pointless to work on for the most part.

Like I was saying the other day, I need to organize my time off in such a way that I will be able to work on the laundry list of things I need/want to do. Not chores, but just work items that take time for me to think about etc.

I started working with Entity Framework last night and MVC and I am pleasantly surprised for the most part. I need to explore it more later. I need to take on of my ideas and just run with it for a while and see where it takes me. I will plan that week out so I will accomplish something finally.

Meh

I feel meh right now. Been off of work for the last 4 days including today and something that happens to me often when I have plenty of time off is that I get bored pretty easily with doing nothing. So watching tv and playing video games all weekend only goes so far. I need interaction and brain challenges because I can't sit stll for very long. I can do the gluttonous thing for about 2-3 days max, but that 3rd or 4th day I start to feel ill, as in I had too much of nothing and self indulgence.

It would happen to me all the time during the summer when I was in high school. I didn't have time off in college because I always took summer courses. Then as soon as I started working the only time off I would get was always the holidays since I kept shifting jobs; I could never accrue days off which was ridiculousness. So anyhow I need to setup my up comming vacation off which will probably be in January. I will work the entire week on my projects and try to get stuff done.

One thing is for damn sure, my personal goals this year include some idea/invention submission ideas to a company that will take them. I want to get my site idea off the ground. I want to work on an electronic invention of some kind and lastly I want to read more.

Thanks Giving

I like how, like all holidays, this is just another day off. The only thing I am thankful for is the same thing I am thankful for year round every day. I am happy to be employed. That's all. Other than that I am glad that things don't suck more than they currently do. Not saying that things are horrendous, but not great which is fairly normal for me. I measure my happiness in terms of things I don't have such as money. With money comes great happiness, joy and the power to basically do what ever the fuck you want within the obvious legal limits of course.

Money = happiness

Without money you can expect to turn to god because that sham of a concept is free and makes you feel good when you have shit to look forward to in your life. Some people think friends, family and health are enough; but the underlying factor is that is a thin line. The moment you become sick people show their warrented true colors IE self preservation. It is only natural to shield yourself from things that make you feel like shit or you don't want to see. Especially when someone you know asks for money, then you have touched a personal zone. Once you are sick and require money you no longer have happiness because you don't have your health which requires money in order to maintain it. Ironic no?

So yes, Money is the root of all evil and the root of all happiness. So I want more money and I won't be happy until I have large disgusting amounts of it.

Immenent Employment Death Sentence

There are two people I work with that are going to lose their jobs but don't know it yet. It is sad, but justified. I like both people very much personally, but both of them aren't qualified for the jobs they hold. Person A is outdated because he just doesn't want to learn anything new or maybe he is incapable. Person B wants to make people believe that he knows what he is doing when in reality he doesn't have a clue.

What is especially sad about this is that they are both probably going to be furious about the whole thing instead of just realizing this about themselves. What my company should do is tell them they have 2 months to find a new job because it isn't working out anymore. I wish people could just realize that a free ride doesn't exist in the work place. You may be able to do it for a while, but ev entually it will catch up with you...

I can't save the world, but I can drop subtle hints. Person B complains that he hasn't been moved over to the position he is good for, but he doesn't know that he will never be moved to that position because of his level of compitence and because he is going to have his position replaced by someone with more knowledge than he currently offers. So I tell him, "If you aren't happy waiting you should maybe go else where. Find a place that will treat you right."

This is selfish to say but, better him than me. I have been laid off already once. I don't want it to happen again.

Smart Phones

I think buying a newer and upgraded smart phone was the best and smartest purchase I made all year. I was fretting about the 300 price tag of the phone, but it has already paid off in terms of usefulness. My wife made a good point about these purchases. You ever notice that when you buy a new phone, it comes in a pretty little almost Jewlery like box? It is because these fucking things have basically become just as expensive as a fine piece of jewlery, like a watch or an 18K gold ring with some precious stones on it. So they, in my carrier's case they give you your phone etc in a little boutique looking bag. It fits the purchase in my opinion.

I refuse to become one of those people engrossed in their phone, completely connected all of the time. I prefer to use my phone as an organization tool and less of a communications device. The older I have gotten the more antisocial I have become. I think I have successfully alienated myself from many people I knew/know. Meh, I've got shit to do and my friends don't pay my bills, life is a fucking free for all.

Money

I feel like money is just fleeing my wallet right now. I have a monumental amount expenses all of a sudden which wouldn't have hurt so bad if I didn't have to go on that aforementioned NY trip back in October. Fucking wiped me out.

I have several things to worry about now:
1. The health of my car
2. The state of my job
3. The state of my personal work
4. General expenses
5. Unwanted expenses such as doctor visits

I need to get my shit together and as of now, I don't have my act together. I hope to iron it all out soon enough. I feel like the flow in my home is most of what is blocking me from becoming inspired. I need to work on not letting it bother me.

State of Affairs

So it seems like we as a nation are gearing up for a second major war over things we can't exactly prove. We are accusing Iran of having nuclear weapons even though Iran has been complying with nuclear inspectors and allows them to check when ever they ask.
Sound familiar? It was called the Iraq war which is still not over... we are doing what we just did 10 years ago. This time we are doing it because Israel is the one pushing for it and says they are going to attack. I think this isn't fair to the USA, every time these douch bags feel like it they start some shit like what they did with Lebanaon.

Mean while our piece of shit do nothing congress can't come to an agreement about anything. I say we force them to work weekends and on the holidays until they come up with something. The other argument I made about this, is that every time they do not complete really important tasks we should reduce their income by a fraction that is equal to the amount of pain being felt by the American people. That will give them a fucking incentive to get this shit done on time.

Fuck You US Congress
Fuck You Israel
Fuck You Amidinijab

Blog Themes

I changed the blog theme today. I figured it was time for a change and now it looks like how I feel most of the time. Plus it will get you in the mood to read my posts because I don't usually have anything positive or nice to say I suppose. This is not an admissions from me that I am a negative person, I just tell it like it is and people can't handle that most of the time.

People suck.

I forgot my cell phone at home... I hate it when I do that.

Post

I am currently it in a very strange position in my life. I haven't been out of college for that long, but I have been moving very quickly career wise. I want to stay where I am because I like my job and I like everyone I work with except my boss who is a dick. The two main problems I have are my pay and my boss. If I was being paid well I wouldn't care as much, but I am not being paid well enough.

I don't know if I should just quit and go else where. I am tempted to leave because I can get a bigger better salary elsewhere.

The other side of things is I need to really buckle down with my ideas and go to town. I have several money making ideas, I just need to make them happen. I can't depend on companies to keep me employed, eventually I will be old and I will be unemployable due to my age. I fear that the most.

Breaking Old Ties

I have/had a friend who I used to get along great with; but our priorities changed. I became less patient with everyone, my tolerance for bullshit sank dramatically and it really doesn't take much for me to want to leave a place of discomfort on my time off. This guy is lude and just inappropriate most of the time which was fun to deal with in high school, but then I grew up and realized that he wasn't funny anymore and just causes everyone to be uncomfortable due to his stupid attitude.

He is too competetive in everything, whether it is work related or even casual conversations. He doesn't listen to reason until its too late and he is just all around vular. He likes to get a rise out of people for fun which was okay when we were all stupid kids just having mindless and dangerous fun. Those days are over and he doesn't know how to admit when he is wrong, stop arguing with people about really meaningless shit and grow up.

He is also racist whether he wants to admit it or not. He is a schovinist which is definitely not okay and it shows a lot now. That is probably the biggest pain in the ass about him. I hate how he thinks he is better than women. He can't stand my wife because he knows she doesn't like him because he can be a dick to women. I think he needs to take his smug opinions and he can shove it.

I tried warning him about drinking the company koolaid, but right now he thinks he is a fucking messiah at his job place which is pathetic. I could care less if he thinks he is doing really well, right now he is letting his job performance go to his head. He is thinking about playing the housing market and I warned him, but he is going to flip houses. Good luck asshole.

Oopsie

This is possibly the best and worst thing that could have ever happened at my job place. The person we hired to be a manager for our system quit today. My idiot boss was so upset apparently that he told him to leave today, that he didn't require to put in two weeks.

This happened for one reason. This guy was hired for a purpose, he was then deflected to a different unintended purpose and that didn't sit well with him. This whole scenario was predictable, I wasn't surprised that it happened, just fucking pissed off because this guy was good. He was a solid hire. Leave it to my moron of a boss to dick it up. He fucked us bad this time, this ruins our deliverables schedule because now someone new has to be hired to fill this guys position. This place is a fucking joke.

If nothing changes come January, then I am out the door and not looking back. I hate this shit. This was good because it shows my boss's boss that can't keep a well qualified hire here due to his shitty micromanagement techniques. Its bad because we lost an excellent hire.

Oh well... I guess they need to learn the hard way, bunch of mooks.

Deep Throat

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Communications Upgrade

I finally upgraded my phone and it is excellent. I upgraded my plan too, I now have a full data plan, unlimited everything at a somewhat decent price. My G1 wasn't cutting it anymore, it was killing me. This phone, the myTouch Q however is marvelous upgrade. I am still getting used to not having a trackball, but for the most part I love having a functional mini computer at my hip at all times. The best part is I can now post directly to the web when I am finished with posts.

This was an expensive but necessary upgrade for me. I am very happy.

The Hunt

I started searching for jobs and I like what I have found so far. I am not sure when I am going to actually start applying, but so far not too bad. I am going to hopefully speak to my boss's boss soon so I can tell him how I feel about our lack of direction. I put together some bullet points on what to talk about and hopefully I can woo him in the right direction.
I spoke to someone interesting over the weekend who basically told me his story about how he got out of the rat race and became his own boss. He is liberated and very sought out apparently. He decided that it didn't make sense to keep being messed with at work by his company and when he saw the opportunity he jumped for it and everything worked out for him.
I got to thinking and I want to try the same thing. I have all these ideas, I just don't know how to make that first step. I was thinking about getting a business loan, but I don't want anything that will rob me if this all falls through.

Depressed

This company is disappointing me a lot. They are expanding rapidly, but they are not doing it the right way. I feel as if they are ignoring very good suggestions that we are giving them and we are being led by a moron. My moron of a manager doesn't know what he is doing and I have no confidence in him as a manager. His technical skills are out dated and he has a major personality flaw with micro management. He wants to manage everything, but doesn't understand that he can't and shouldn't.
I am going to leave the company more than likely, just not sure where or when. I need to actually search for a job first before I can full on leave.