Murderous Intent

I think everyone has thought about killing at least one person in their lifetime. And I don't mean like a playfull or figurative killing, I mean a full fledged omg if I had a gun you would be dead right now killing. Well I have had that feeling more times than I can count and it is also the reason I don't have a liscense to carry, because I would probably kill someone out of a fit of rage. These people that I would have a fit of rage about are always strangers who somehow feel the need to get personal with me over stupid things that is usually their own fault. If it is my fault I always acknowledge this and I let it go, but I can't stand people who want to pretend they didn't do anything wrong or think it is okay to embarass people outright. Not okay. It is so not okay I do think they should be killed for showing such a lack of respect toward other people's feelings.

I am not proud to admit that I would more than likely kill someone if I could get away with it, but it is 100% true. I think it is true for everyone which is why I want to point out why people don't kill others more often.

People don't kill others more often because it is illegal and it will ruin your life if you do it. It has nothing to do with morals or right & wrong and it has everything to do with discomfort and consequences. If someone could be killed risk free it would happen a lot more.

Here is a great example, the mother fuckers you encounter in chat rooms, forums and especially in the online gaming realm are people I think we all would love to kill. Find that heartless mother fucker's home address who called you something dispicable and clobber him to death. People on the internet who hide behind their screens while dealing verbal punishment are #1 on my list. It would be a field day to find one of those mofos and just cut them until they bleed to death. Can't hide now can you - you piece of shit.

Other people who should die instantly if you had access to them. Religious leaders like pat robertson or rick man on dog santorum. Oh man what I would give to kick the shit out of pat robertson, then sodomize him with a rifle and pull the trigger. I kind of feel that way about most republicans and uneducated hateful pieces of shit. Which is ironic of course because I sound like one now, but that is okay because I am pointing it out and being honest. My contradiction doesn't change they way I feel.

Orthotic Care Only for Diabetics

So I have flat feet. I got orthotics for myself over 10 years ago. They are falling apart now and I need new ones. My health care provider informs me that I need to have diabetes in order for the insurance company to cover my inserts.

Inserts cost about $500 the pair. That is a lot of fucking money for me to be paying when I have health insurance who isn't covering what I need. So first and foremost I just want to point out that I think it is bullshit that they won't cover me. That part is obvious. I cannot walk without my orthotics because I get extreme pain in my ankles, knees, hips and back when I walk around without them. The pain sprawls in that order too because your feet are your foundation.

So I am insulted to be told I must be diabetic in order to get replacement orthotics.

I then came up with the plan that if I become diabetic on purpose in order to get my orthotics, they have to cover my order. After they fill my order I can lose weight and reverse the diabetes so that I am diabetes free. Is that considered fraud?

The point is that is a ridiculous way to get orthotics and the insurance companies are assholes for not covering me when I have a need. Fuck you Aetna and United Healthcare.

Health Care Debate & My Idea of a Plan

This is another one of those pretty clear cut issues to me. Everyone requires healthcare, regardless of what people think you need it as a just in case.

Here is the plan I would offer:
Sign up or die. What I mean by this is get healthcare coverage, pay a retainer (I will explain more below) or when you are sick and injured no one will help you - you will most likely die and it will be your fault no one elses. But hey, at least the government didn't take away your fucking freedom and you saved a couple of bucks in the process. Now that you died though, isn't it ironic? You showed us.

The retainer is for those people who don't want to pay for health insurance, it is still their duty to contribute something, so if they aren't paying the full 100% then they can pay 50%, but this isn't for an insurance plan, this is for a retainer. In the case that they require health insurance, they will be 50% covered and they have to pick up the remaining 50%. The reasoning behind this is because they are half assing their commitment, so right back at you.

Anyone with full coverage will be covered 100%, no goddamn surprise bills. You pay the 100% then you are covered the 100%.

Again this is a simple issue. It is cheaper for everyone if eveyone contributes. If you don't want to contribute or you only want to half contribute then you get what you paid for. Fuck you.

My Words and Ideas in the Light

I love love love hearing from people who have read a book or article that confirms something I have written about or formulated a solid stance on. It makes me feel validated, see when I say something it is misconstrued as callous or negative, when a PHD or an author writes about the exact samething then they are viewed as insightful and justified.

I will gloat now.

I was speaking to a psychologist friend of mine and she is reading a book about sociopaths. She has learned that there are indeed evil people, their condition is called being a sociopath. Sociopaths are self entitled, self involved assholes who don't care about anyone else except themselves. I am sure about this because my sister is a sociopath and I had a once good friend who is a sociopath.

I have studied them in my own way over the years of my life that I knew both of them individually. I hate my sister because she is a self absorbed piece of shit. I stopped being friends with the other person because he would abuse me verbally and at one point I realized I didn't have to take that shit from either of them so I stopped talking to both of them immediately. I felt great afterwards, it was like a giant weight being lifted from my shoulders. There is NO point in hanging out with people you cannot stand, so just do yourself a favor and don't. You more than likely don't owe those people anything, it is usually the other way around.

So yes, evil sociopaths exist. They only care about themselves and their agenda. I have watched my friend learn how to act around people to hide his social skill deficit. He is still a sociopath, he just learned how to hide it better. He nicer to people, he has fewer episodes of pure hatred outbursts on unsuspecting victems.

My sister... she hasn't learned anything. She also is an actor in front of people, but she only finds ways for people to feel sorry for her. She feeds on it. She is on antidepressants because she is always soooo depressed... that is sarcasm... no really she says she is very depressed and on antidepressants, that part is true, but it is also hard to give a shit when she is such a self absorbed asshole. It is hard to tell if she actually is depressed or if she just does it for attention.

Fuck her.

In my book sociopaths are one of those people I would throw into my execution bin.

Minecraft

Minecraft is a lot of fun. Too much fun infact. So much fun I have been losing sleep over it. I am going to have to quit playing so long. I keep building really big oversized things and when I am finished I don't know what to do with myself. So usually I just give up for a while then I eventually start over building something big again.

I have only been playing in creative mode. However eventually I will change it to survival mode and start playing it for the fun of surviving. Which I have to admit is indeed fun, just takes much longer to do anything. However it is way more gratifying.

Sleepy.

I wish it wasn't written in java, so much overhead...

Only Child Syndrome

I hate only children who were not raised adequately. I hate all children who are not raised properly, but "only" children can probably be argued to be the worst. They are especially bad when they feel entitled and on top of that their daddy owns the company so they feel even more powerful. One of the morons I share a space with is too rich. He feels so entitled he interrupts people and won't even replace the toilet paper roll in the bathroom... he is above it. He has tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants.

How do you deal with people like this? Me, not that it is the right approach, but you have to treat them like children since they act that way. I am so tired of dealing with rich entitled assholes, they apparently gather like ants in miami beach. Fuck miami beach. Its really not that great.
I have watched the vacationers and trust fund babies around here live the life they are living and I can say that it is difficuilt to tell them apart. They look like the same type of people and I find watching overly pampered overly priviledged people doing a whole lot of nothing very irritating. For once I can honestly say, this is not jealousy speaking, I don't want that kind of sedated life style, I find it reprehensible. In particular I have a hard time not staring at orange women... You bitches out there who tan too much look disgusting, there isn't much more to it. You look shitty. The other type of person I can't stand seeing is the overly polished chisiled male figure with his open shirt and bare chest in thong sandals. I hate you people...
After observing these creatins I have finally boiled down life into the following:
Life consists of you working, eating, shitting, fucking and doing stuff to keep yourself occupied until you die. The people in miami beach only do the last four of those items and it is just annoying to watch.

Now the optimist would immediately say that is a negative outlook on life. I will retort with, "no-no, it's the truth". Find another reduced combination of general things that encompasses your daily habits regardless of your outlook on life.

This brings me to my next thought: people, or at least I, spend my life trying my best not to piss other people off (unless they hold no signifigance) so that I can remain in a good mood. It always comes back to: do what makes you happy, live a happy life and you will die happy. There simply is no point to life, just enjoy your days until you die. I still dislike watching the gluttons, but I guess they got it easier than everyone else.

Stupid People

I am lucky and not lucky simultaneously. I am lucky because I left my job for more pay. I am unlucky because my boss at this new job has the same name as my boss at the old job and they are almost on par of level of stupidity. To be perfectly clear, still not as bad as my old job.

I dislike short tempered people of few words. My boss can be compared to a Neanderthal, he kind of grunts and points at things that he wants. He can't explain anything well enough to save his life. Then he gets upset when what he wanted wasn't done exactly the way he envisioned it inside of that small brain of his. I don't hate the guy yet, but so far his first impression to me isn't very good. He isn't stupid, he is apparently a very brilliant programmer, he just shouldn't be managing anyone in my opinion.

Poor management is why things haven't been done correctly, his fault. He doesn't want to own up to it and he doesn't want to admit to it, but that doesn't change the fact that he screwed up.

Bring Back The Santorum Google Bomb

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=santorum

Fuck that guy. He looks like a genuinely nice person, but he is too religious, fuck that guy. Fuck all of the Republican candidates, but fuck him the most. I would rather Romney run the country if it comes to that - rather than some religious psycho.

Jealousy: People who work from home

I originally was really hating people who would talk about their daily routine like it was nothing, then I realized, it wasn't hatred, it was simply jealousy. I am jealous of people who can work from home. I am not sure if I would really want to work from home to be perfectly honest, I like interacting with people. Specifically people that don't suck.

I used to get upset at the idea of someone not having to fight through traffic, they could workout in the morning when the damn gym is empty and available, they could get all of their errands done and then work late if necessary from home. Wow, the ultimate convenience. The only people I am more jealous of are people who don't need cars and can just walk to and from work or go grocery shopping easily.

That being said, I still dislike Miami Beach heavily because I don't like listening to all of the goddamn frogs walking around and all of the trust fund babies squalking. I don't like seeing overly pampered people, it bothers me, they have no character. The deepest throught that travels through their brains is through their blood brain barrier via alcohol and drugs.

I can't seem to get myself to care much for flamboyant faggots. I don't mind gay people, I don't care, but the overly showy gay faggots kind of bother me. I guess that is my personal problem I need to over come. Very low on the list of priorities though.

Israel and Iran

So here we go... this might be world war 3. Obama urges israel to take the sand out of their vagina, but they seem like they are going to strike, just like they did to lebanon in 2006. No one stopped them back then either. Israel is trigger happy and I think they brought all of this shit on themselves. I say nuke israel or turn it into a nature preserve.

I truely fear for what is about to happen. They are going to strike Iran first and when they do the US is going to naturally get pulled int it as we always do. I am so tired of this shit, we keep getting fucked over like this. War after war, how are we supposed to realistically sustain ourselves? We are already in Iraq and Afgahnistan. Why can't we just pull out of those regions and allow israel to hang themselves?

Fuck you Israel.

My Family Sucks

I wish I didn't have to speak to my family anymore. I know for some people who don't have a family due to death etc, this may not make sense, but I seriously don't want anything to do with about 90% of my family. I dislike them immensely, they are just mostly annoying, clingy and are users. I am upset because my mother, every time I speak to her, has something she wants me to do for her. It's never a, "hi how are you doing call" it is always a "hi, how are you doing, hey can you clean out the shed for me" call. I am tired of it, I am tired of her using me.

As far as I am concerned any debts I had with her are settled and I don't owe her anything. Parents have this bullshit idea in their minds that because they had you, raised you and paid for your shit until you could move out; that you are then forever indebted to them for being alive. I hate that shit. They never want to understand that you are grown up and that you should be beyond that or more importantly that you never chose to be born.

My mom calls me and says "When am I going to see you?" I just saw her last week, but she still asks like it never happened. I get upset and bothered when ever she asks that because I always tell her I am busy, and she doesn't want to believe that. She always pulls this shit out of her ass she will exclaim that she is my mother and I should respect her more and come visit her etc. I hate this shit. She needs a boyfriend. She needs someone who can keep her busy long enough so that she isn't sitting there lonely. I understand this is due to loneliness, but goddamn it, I am busy. I am young and I have drive to do things, to better myself.

I don't mind seeing her every now and again but goddamn it, we are talking about cutting into my fucking weekends. My weekends are precious to me. She likes to say its been a week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks since I have seen her, but in reality it has been 2, 4, 6 days if you only measure it in weekends. The week days do not count, I am busy working and so is she. Clingy Parents suck.

Standing Behind Religion

I need to investigate certain things a little deeper, but from the looks of it there is a ridiculous religious legal battle that has been going on again. Why is it okay for religious people to stand behind their religion to get away with murder? So right now there are three shitty things going on concerning people getting the medical treatment they desire or deserve. Non negotiable stuff.

First thing is religious employers who don't want to allow employees to use their worl provided health care to purchase or get contraceptives. I think this is a pretty simple case, the employer needs to realize that they cannot impose their religious preferences on anyone outside of the work environment. Religious employers cannot be in the private sector and expect to use their religion to conduct business. Basically, if you want to play with the big boys and do what they do such as being human and providing health care to others then they need to do what jesus taught them and turn the other cheek. Mother fuckers.

Second issue. Religious pharmiscists who do not want to sell contraceptives or fill perscriptions for them. They have the right to do this, they can simply not stock the drugs or products. I think they shouldn't be pharmiscists either since their whole job is to provide medical supplies and medications to people, but if I had my way, they would be dead. Just another example of stupid people wanting to have it both ways. They want to play pharmiscist, but will only do it half way.

Third issue. Doctors who are witholding critical information from pregnant women so they will not have an abortion. Hrmmm... okay here is an example, "Madam, if you have this baby, you might die during the delivery." Or "Your baby is retarded." So doctors are not providing this information because it will make THEM feel bad religiously if they were to abort their unborn fetus. Never mind the fact that this is premeditated murder, they want to practice their religion freely. One more example of a religious ass who wants to be a doctor, but only 50%. Maybe these mother fuckers should be veternarians since that seems a lot less dangerous to people. If an animal dies during child birth, then it would have been anyones guess.

Fuck religious people, in the words of the late Christopher Hitchens "Religion poisons everything."

Wedding Cost

I am worried about the price tag of our wedding. It is actually quite cheap for a wedding as far as weddings go amazingly enough, I just don't have the capital right now to go all out. I am going to have to make a decision to either put on the breaks cost wise or just say fuck it and pull out all the stops and go for it.

There is always next year. This is truely the last hump of bloated payments for me, this is the most expensive thing I have ever done in my life and what kills me is it is all for a single day. I don't like the idea of spending so much money on something that doesn't have a return. I am building memories I suppose.

After this though, it is full sails ahead to pay down the 31K school debt that I have. The American fuck you for wanting to better yourself debt. The Rick Santorum elitest college goer winnings. The progressive liberal left idealistic view of moving forward in life and bettering one's self debt. Only in America...

So yeah weddings are expensive, looking at a 20K bill which is being payed off piece meal. Can't do it all in one shot because it would be very expensive. So I am going to seriously cut back on spending to make this happen.