The Human Condition

It has taken me a long time to finally pin point the root cause of what makes me hate certain people. There are people who cannot admit fault and delegate it instead and then there are people who think they are the only ones who suffer from the human condition. I hate both of these people and they are both very unreliable.

People who think they are the way only ones who suffer from the human condition are selfish assholes who cannot be trusted. They will do whatever it takes to live comfortably. Regardless of whether or not that means they are going to hurt people or not. They run away from responsibility and they hide from their problems. It is easier for them to not have to confront reality and run from it instead.

They are the type of people looking to have the beach life without earning it. They want to be kept for free while others do back breaking labor to keep them alive. They don't want to earn their keep they want to live like royalty. They want to do what they want when they want otherwise you are a downer, negative and miserable. You kill their vibe man...

Stupid fucking users.

People who think they are the only ones who suffer from the human condition are the most selfish person possible. Fuck these people, they are the scourge of a community and should be kicked out to fend on their own.

Lost

I feel quite lost at the moment. It just kind of sprang up out of no where. I was fine for a while then I started getting depressed. Probably because I was working very hard the last three weeks. Working 9am-12am and later for three weeks.

I am trying to reevaluate what I want right now.
I want to build things right now I am in a builders mood. I think I will fix up my backyard as much as I can without breaking the bank. I'm focused on some of the smaller things. Right now I am anxious about a few things. My wife isn't bringing in a great income because of the job she has right now so I am all butterflies over it. I think I will be better when that is sorted out.

Aside from that, now that my student loans are paid off in full I am looking at what to do next. I want to tackle large house projects but I am not sure how yet. I refuse to run lean savings because it is stupid and unsafe. I want to get certain house projects done and then I will just hoard my money for retirement and emergencies.

I want to do the following:
Pay off car loan after lease is up
Fix roof
Get gutters
Fix kitchen
Fix backyard
Fix front yard
Fix various small items inside the house

I am worried about obsessing over making payments for things, so I will try to take it in stride.

I need to focus more on tinkering and doing things with my time and money that make me happy.

I'm just anxious right now. I don't have any other reason to be unhappy.

Regret

It's funny to see people I knew from highschool and college going through the regret phase of their life. I was the person who warned about certain things in life and what to expect and I was ignored outright for the most part. People who lived in the now aka Optimists. People who relaxed too much and didn't want to worry about things that inconvenienced them or made them uncomfortable.

I am a self proclaimed realist. Some people call me a pessimist and I say that's fine, they are wrong, but okay I will accept that title. I am a realist because I know when to be optimistic and positive, but I know when not to be also and I will be pessimistic and negative. It all depends on what the situation calls for.

Anyhow I hate optimists because they are usually carefree unreliable idiots.

Case in point all of the people who are feeling major regret of their choices in life at this point right now. People who went against the grain of safety and lost. People who are now jealous and envious of others for doing the right thing in the fucking first place. In other words people jealous and envious of me. I don't hate them, but I am unable to speak to them or interact with them without those people melting down in front of me. Usually goes like this, "Wow... You have a home, you are married with no children and you are doing well from what it seems." They then look depressed and broken. I think to myself, "Yeah sorry you still work at star bucks, not my fucking fault or problem." I don't want to hurt their feelings, but it is true.

Those same carefree types are paying for their bullshit optimistic rose colored live in the now view on life and I don't feel bad for them at all. I worked hard to be where I am. You reap what you sow.

Funny how I was right.

Bitches.

Status

Things have been looking up for me. My wife has a job working with me. Her side business is doing relatively okay and I have finally paid off all of my student debt. Good riddance. I need a rebuild or a recuperation period to get my funds back together.

After I am comfortable I am going to repair my roof, which includes replacing a skylight and fixing a bad patch of roof. I need to finish building out my kitchen. Doing a small redesign, doing the whole thing for less than 1K. I need to redo my back yard and front yard.

I have my car loan left to deal with and I am on the fence about just paying it off outright or taking an auto loan to finance the rest of it. I have a lease which I am going to buy out. I don't want bills anymore. I can put that 229/Mo and put it to great use.

That is literally the last bill I will have in terms of loans.

I will then focus on retirement funds. I have gotten my timing worked out at work so now I am 80% vested in my 401K that opened in April. Not thrilled about doing that but I did after my first loan was paid off. I paid off my second loan in September. 26K down the drain. Fucking education in this country is a sham. Anyhow... Moving forward I just want to fix up my house. I want a place where I can rest very comfortably.