Failure

I know it's definitely not the case, but I feel like a huge failure sometimes. I made the mistake of going on to linkedin last night to update a few things and I had the opportunity to click on the profile of an old classmate from college. I didn't particularly like this guy he was kind of a self centered prick. We will call him Bob. Bob, although I didn't know him very well, seemed to me only to look out for Bob. However Bob was very intelligent, there is no discounting that. It just kills me years later to see how many engineering firms Bob has worked in since we have left college. Bob has been doing very well from what I can see and I am jealous and envious of him.

I feel bad for being upset about it because he earned it. It was not handed to him. He also had jack shit holding him back. He gave two shits about his family from what it seems (I spoke to him about it a few times), so leaving home to go to another state was not a problem for him.

It pisses me off I was never given that opportunity. My piece of shit sister left my mom and I without a second thought. Fucking worthless piece if crap. Went to get a nursing degree she is now sitting on doing JACK SHIT with. Fucking idiot. All the education she got and she is using none of it. I hate that so much.

Anyhow... I would have liked to at least once work as an engineer. I will do it on my own though. I don't need a company to nurture me. I will struggle on my own to figure it all out.