I am tired of people telling me I have to make time for things, especially when they have no idea what goes on in my life. I especially hate it when people tell me, "look at me, I have a job and all this other stuff, but I still get exercise in." I don't appreciate the comparisons of people who obviously don't have a lot to do all of the time. I am not someone who can sit around for an entire day and not do something constructive. I need to do things and if I don't have anything to do I will find something to do. For example, we all could use more money, always. I am able to relax, just not for long and not if I know I have things I need to get done. The reality of it is, if I am getting older and the older I get the harder it is for me to stay awake and the easier it is for me to get tired, then I need to hustle and get as much done as humanly possible before retirement age. Whether that be a business, personal projects or anything else that is harder to do as you get older. I hate hearing from people, "hey, you stress out too much..." yeah maybe you don't stress out enough. I know people that piss away their time doing things that as far as I am concerned is a waste of time. Religion being one of them, specifically religions that are more difficult to follow and definitely more archaic than Christianity (I don’t favor Christianity either, I am atheist) Usually the vibe I get from people who think I stress out too much are people who either don't have a long term goal (why worry about tomorrow when today isn't over yet?) Or people who are jealous of me and my never ending list of priorities and goals. The people who tell me, "you are such a loser for not going out with us and getting wasted." Mean while the person telling me this has the IQ of a brick, has the salary of a bag boy, or already started child support payments for his first of many bastards. Fuck you and don't dictate to me what my priorities should be. I don't like hearing from people, "hey you need to learn to relax." Yeah? If I could relax, naturally I would. "You need to learn to stop and smell the roses and enjoy life." This is bullshit because everyone knows, even if they don't want to admit it, you can only have that stupid attitude for about ten minutes, because then you need to get back to work. There is no end to work until the weekend, which of course is used to do personal things, which is just another category of work. I hate the vicious rollercoaster ride. Living for the weekend is not my favorite thing to do but it is happening. The only people who are happy are rich people and people who don't want to achieve more than a shit pay check. Goddamn it I may not relax, but it is fun to watch the nagging nay Sayers at the bottom struggling from way up here. I thrive on proving people wrong, especially when I know I can. I had teachers and advisors tell me I was going to amount to nothing, oh how wrong they were. I feel the same way now, I need to work, and build my empire so I can enjoy the disabled years of my life with whatever bout of cancer I will have to face. I love my family genetics. I am tired and upset. I hate the damn 40 mile drive I do to and from work. I need a break, and I need it soon...
