Weeds

I just finished the last season of weeds and I have to say this is one of the best TV shows I have ever watched. I loved the show, very addicting. Sometimes I had to take breaks in between seasons or episodes because it got repetetive, but the season finale episodes always pulled me back in.

Spoiler Alert:
I like how the progression of the show happened. I love how Nancy Botwin went from being this mother you felt really bad for to this mega walking fuck up. The last episode was a perfect wrap up of the series because I think the people who ran the show realized this series could really go on forever, but they also wanted to end it gracefully. That is my opinion, not fact. They should have made the last episode an hour long though to make it more like a movie. I was worried when I started watching the last episode because at that point I didn't know if they were going to just end it without an explanation or if they would finish it gracefully.

Either way, one of the best series ever.

The Rat Race

I would like to make at least one of my ideas come into fruition. I think I will make it happen too because I am finally organizing myself both financially but living too. I want to do well now. I am going to organize myself more by creating a project plan and forcing myself to meet deliverables. I will schedule time for myself to get things done so I know ahead of time what to expect and so that nothing else will get in my way.

I have a good feeling about this stuff. I just need to make it happen.

Big Corporate Culture

I have been in big corporate offices and unless it is structured well, I would never want to be in one ever again. I have seen some of the strange things that occur there, one of which being the unskilled idiot worker. The unskilled idiot worker is a person that says they can do a job, but are missing all of the qualifications to do said job and then get upset when they are questioned about their poor performance. I have seen this type of person more than once and what I have learned is this type of worker will not make it far in a smaller company. They usually try to lay low and get close to nothing done, if anything at all and eventually are laid off or fired due to a lack of performance.

They can't make it in a smaller company because they are not used to working hard. They are used to coasting and doing maybe an hours worth of work then pissing the rest of the day away looking at facebook or some other equally as brainless activity. When this type of person is asked to do multiple things, they say it isn't their job to do multiple things just one thing. The reason is because idiot unskilled worker is used to doing a single task and only that single task in a large company for a lot of money sometimes. In smaller companies it is the exact opposite, you work harder and do more but get paid way less sometimes. The good news is you can take your skills with you. You look better on paper than the idiot unskilled worker who probably lies about his qualifications through and through.

I have met stupid people who have certifications, I have no certs, but I know more than them. Certs mean shit. Just like people with an MBA, anyone can get one, it doesn't mean you know much of anything about business. Business is bullshit, doesn't mean you are a qualified leader.

This type of person would not suffer so much if they tried harder, but unfortunately they want to coast. I hate this type of person. No willingness to learn or do better and they demand to be paid well on top of that. It's disgusting.

Reocurring Thoughts

I often think about a lot of the same things repeatedly. Even as a kid I would worry about stuff I had no control over. I think that is what helped me become a critical thinker. I always knew I learned, discovered or came to a complete understanding of something when I had that one moment of clarity when my eyes would grow wide and a feeling of euphoria swept over me. Or my brain would hurt, not in a bad way, but in a "I need time to process this" kind of way.

I have adopted a subconscious level of timing and problem solving which is what I think makes me a superior person at times. Not that I am flawless, but it makes me unique. I literally solve problems in my sleep. When I am overly concerned with something or anxious I can't sleep, I sometimes become depressed. I remember once as a kid I stayed awake for 2 days straight just worrying about what was going to happen in the future. What am I going to grow up as? Who am I going to be? Will I be happy?

I constantly think about death. I worry about my mother or my wife dying well before their time. If my wife dies I would probably seriously contemplate suicide. She keeps my feet on the ground and I swear if it wasn't for her I would be dead already. I love her more than I love myself. I live because I want to make her happy and I hope to grow old with her until I die first.

I worry about my own death, but that is why I own a life insurance policy. I am specifically concerned about getting cancer, which I have a wonderfully high risk of getting because my father's genes suck. I am not really worried about much of anything else with respect to dying except that I will one day die. When I die where will my consciousness go? I have the feeling that I will come back. I try very hard not to think about this stuff so I tend to occupy my mind with work and other in the moment things.

I am very numb and depressed right now because my memories have been attacking me again. I have these really bad memories that I can't get rid of because they are attached to other things that make me remember them.

Every time I see a specific Chipotle I have a bad memory attack me where I went to said Chipotle and was trying to make two orders after a very long work day. The skinny punk ass douche kid behind the counter was fucking up my order so I did the unmentionable and put my hand over the glass and pointed at the things I wanted. He then embarassed me, my own partial fault, by saying loudly "You are not allowed to put your hands over the glass!" I scowled at him, but said nothing because I was very hungry and tired.

Every time I see a specific Ale House table, I am reminded of the time that I over reacted to something very loudly on purpose and basically caused a big stupid scene which was embarassing for me and for the people I was with.

Those are the two memories that keep attacking me. No matter how I rationalize it, I can't stop the memories from being bad ones or having them depress me. It is like having a mean bully taunt you, but you can't do anything to stop them except wait it out like a migrane. I wince and even kind of cough every time the memory strikes. All I have to do is see something like beer and it makes me think of an Ale House table and what happened there. If I think of food, like a bell pepper, I think of burritos, then Chipotle and that asshole kid yelling at me.

Sometimes nothing bothers me and I am fine. However when I am like this, I lose all motivation and I am just depressed. Then I can't sleep and I have no one to talk to, which is why I blog. I blog my thoughts so they can get out and I don't have to keep them in or tell them to someone who will judge me. I do this for me, not for anyone else.

Times like this I can't help but think about dying... its not rational, but the fact remains I think about killing myself because being depressed for extended periods of time for stupid reasons is sometimes unbearable. Then it passes and I feel okay again. I just wish I was rich so shit like this wouldn't matter and I could speak to a shrink. I don't really believe in shrinks, I think they are not very qualified in determining what is wrong with someone when they themselves are very flawed too. People become shrinks because they are tring to figure out their own shit or they are crazy. What real sense does it make to go to an unstable person and unload my problems on them? I am unfortunately at a point where I think I need to speak to one though because my depressive stages are becoming more and more depressive...

I just want my every day problems to just go the fuck away and those problems are all solved with money. That is why I stress for money all of the time. Every problem is solved or made better with money. You can't buy certain things with it out right, but it sure fucking helps.

Dunkin Donuts

I love Dunkin Donuts. I hate Krispy Cream. I love DD because their doughnuts are less greasy to me. I only eat old fashion doughnuts because I can't deal with the sugar on the other types of doughnuts, they make me feel queezy. My favourite coffee is their Cafe con Leche or Latte. Their regular coffee is damn good too.

They have this DD Rewards program and I signed up right away. I thought I could get a DD rewards card to put on my key ring, but it doesn't work like that. At first I was pissed off about that, then after thinking about it off and on I realized this was inconvenient, but brilliant at the same time.

The company is actually saving themselves losses by making you purchase a rechargeable DD card. The offer is you save 10% with the card, the catch is you need a card that will hold 2-100 dollars. This is a good move on their part because the 10% only applies with a prepaid card. This prevents customers from sharing their discount with others. So not only did you just give them 2-100 dollars in advance, you will only use your discount for you, there is an exclusivity with it. Other people will buy in too.

Next month I will be getting said card because it makes financial sense. I will put like $50 on it because when I go I usually spend anywhere between 12 to 40 dollars. I buy a box of joe, 2 dozen doughnuts, 1 Cafe con Leche and a breakfast sandwich of sorts. I do this for my job place because it is necessary at times, coffee run for late night coding etc...

Yes I just wrote a post about DD, no I don't work for them or get a commission, I just love DD. It's not even an American company which is amusing because I usually try to go American all the way.

I hate Starbucks, their coffee tastes like burnt shit usually. I will have a Latte there when I am desperate.

Knowledge Transfer

Companies should learn that an employee's experiences aren't something that can just be given to someone else on a platter or in paper form. I just spent over an hour trying to explain the complexities of just one aspect of my job to two other people. I think they just absorbed a 1/4 of what I just showed them. This is not their fault, it is just difficuilt to understand what someone has done over 3 years into an hour or so.

I think this is comical and will ultimately hurt them because the one person who was tasked with so much has just left and a knowledge gap remains in his stead. This is the doing of poor management and decision making.

All that aside, I have extended an olive branch to help explain difficuilt problems to them after I am gone. Like I keep telling some of my co workers, my leaving is necessary in order for there to be any change.

Interviews: Liars Welcome

I have been lucky that most interviews I have been to haven't been that bad. I have usually breezed through all of them and I am usually offered the job after the first interview. However I am still bad at interviews because I hate the interview process and I am a very honest person. I like telling the truth or exactly how I feel because I don't see the point in lying, but when it comes to being interviewed, lying is a 100% must.

I dislike interviews, specifically from the interviewee's stand point, for the simple fact it is basically the only place where people want you to lie to them. I have a lot of trouble answering the hot seat questions because it involves deflection and tip toeing around questions. For fuck's sake asking me something stupid like "Why should I hire you?" Is so goddamn vague and open ended that it can cause you to hang yourself easily. Especially if you are caught off guard. That is like me going to a merchant, telling them I want to buy a product, then the merchant says, "Why should I sell this to you?" What the fuck do you mean why? Cause I have the money that's why you fucking moron. Why are you wasting my time? Then the merchant doesn't sell me the product I want. That is what interviews feel like. I have never had a bad outcome, but I still feel as if that is what is happening.

Here are a list of commonly asked vague hot seat interview questions. You probably would never be asked all of these, but you may be asked one or none of them.

The format below is: question, truthful answer and the right answer.

Q1	Why are you leaving your current position?
T	I am leaving my current position because I hate where I work, my co workers are all assholes, my boss is a douch bag and they insult me by giving me 0-1% raises instead of what I rightfully deserve. People who are far less knowledgeable than me are being promoted and my boss favors certain employees. He won't let me change the system I am working on in order to being it up to this centuries standards and he won't listen to me when there is a real problem that needs addressing. Then when the problem occurs he blames me for not telling him about it earlier or being more proactive.
R	I am leaving my current position because the program I am working on is going to be replaced by another system.
Q2	Why do you want this job?
T	I want this job because I need the money, why the hell are you asking? Isn't it obvious enough that you shouldn't feel it necessary to ask? Were you not listening to me when you asked me that first stupid ass question? Aside from wanting the money itself, I would like a raise since the last job was paying me shit. I need to pay my bills and I need a new car.
R	I want this job because I think it will present new challenges to my career and I am very interested in learning more about [job subject matter here].
Q3	What are your strengths and weaknesses?
T	My strengths are that I am awesome and I know my shit. I don't have any fucking weaknesses, I am perfect.
R	Some of my strengths are that I am a very hard worker and I have a very good understanding of [job subject matter here]. Some of my weaknesses are that I sometimes don't verbalize some of my problems or difficulties that I have encountered properly when I need to describe them to others.

So a few words of advice: Never tell the truth at an interview. Lie your whole way through the goddamn thing, it is expected of you. Until the interview process will begin to mean something more than an interviewer fishing for bullshit responses instead of the actual truth, I will continue to lie. The difference is I am actually good at my job as opposed to a lot of other bullshitters who are just bullshit artists and don't have a clue. For example, just because you have a certification doesn't mean you are any good at what you are supposedly certified to do. Of course keep in mind if you are lying, I mean tell them what they want to hear, don't lie about things you really can't prove or do.

The Christmas Spirit

If you buy into Christmas then you should ask yourself one question: Why?

I am a stickler about this because I want people to realize what they are doing when celebrating this holiday.

1. Can you afford the holiday? If you can't afford to celebrate the damn holiday, then don't. Being in debt because your spoiled and bratty children demand stuff isn't a good reason. If you are bad with money, then find someone who isn't to make a budget for you. Stick to the damn budget. If you have a budget of 0 or negative dollars, then just suck it up, you shouldn't make it worse by adding to that negative amount with a credit card.

2. Celebrate the holiday because you want to, not because you are obligated to. Not everyone needs something from you and don't feel obligated to give anything in return.

3. Secret santa games are stupid. If you have a limit of x dollars, then that means everyone should just give each other x dollars. No loss and nothing changed. Therefore the whole transaction is pointless. If you get each other actual items, the calibur of those items will be judged. IE: "I got a better present than this for that person, this sucks"

4. Admit that this holiday season is occupied by more than one holiday. Don't be a jerk, respect others. Say "Happy Holidays" don't force christmas on people. It's not nice or fair.

5. Be conscience that the Christmas holiday is simply about consumersim. The notion of "this is the season of giving" simply tries to hide the fact that someone bought something for someone else. If someone is giving something to someone, there is someone receiving it. End of story. This holiday is selfish for two reasons, the people giving something to someone feel good about it and the people receiving feel good about getting something usually.

6. Hannuka is a boring holiday and not comparable to christmas. You are NOT supposed to receive any gifts, especially not eight days of them. You get shitty tasting gelt chocolate coins and a piece of shit draddel which encourages gambling. The holiday is about lighting candles/oil floating wick, which is due to the story of having enough oil for 8 nights when really there was only enough for one night or something. Anyone who wants to alter the holiday, such as a hannuka bush is not being a good jew. Either you do it right or you don't do it at all.

That being said, happy non denominational holiday. Don't get yourself into debt and please no drunk driving.

Shit and the Fan

I love the fact that I can see the shit storm brewing here at my soon to be ex-job. I think that it won't take long for this place to implode upon itself due to a lack of foresight, logic and poor management. I can already feel the rumbling occur, but I know I won't be here to experience the collapse, but I will certainly hear about it.

I truely believe that after I leave that there will be a resounding, "Oh shit" when people realize that they can't just walk up to my desk and ask for help. I am walking away with very in depth knowledge that I built myself, all on my own. The functionality of our remoting servers, web services, estoppel certificates, Accouts Payable process, invoicing, check approvals, check printing, tfs managment, build process and more... it is all me and I am walking away. Who is going to do any of it when I am gone? Sure they will recoup, but how quickly?

I may sound arrogant, but it is the truth. My soon to be ex boss is a fucking moron.

Being Multifaceted

I think it is important for people to be multifaceted. I know this is much easier said than done, so I apologize, I hate that too. Here is the issue I have been racking my brain over for a long time. Job quality for different Americans across the US. Americans are different, we all stand under the American title, but in reality there is really just a few working/wealth classes that Americans can be put into in my opinion. I won't bother listing any because there are too many ways to form the classes, but I truely think people understand that, even if they don't want to admit it.

So people who live in rural areas or country bumpkins tend to work on farms, are factory workers or are miners. Jobs along those lines where honestly there is no telling what could happen to their jobs in the future. The mine could collapse or shut down. The farm could go out of business. The factory could replace people with robots or shut down as well. All the reasons aside, no more job.

I don't want to belittle the job, almost all jobs are damn difficuilt and tiring. However in terms of skill and who can do who's job, these people are always at a disadvantage, because where do they go next? They usually just complain that they can't find a job (jerb) because it got taken away in some shape or form. These people are not very skilled if all they can do is just one thing.

I am quite multifaceted, I can do anything. I can do their jobs probably, but the same is not true for them. They cannot do my job because it takes years of experience and learning to do my job. So I can pretty much go anywhere or do anything and pick up a new skill in order to get by. Hopefully I will never have the same problem as the people I described above, but I can't tell the future... India seems to be taking more and more of our programming jerbs.

My point is here, not to be condescending but to put yourself in a tactical advantage where if you lose your job and you can't find work, you should be able to open up yourself to new things and learn a new trade. That programming job might not be there later or that factory might shut down. Having an education is quite important too.

Tears

I am moved by how many people are saddened by my leaving this company. The CIO told me that I can come back if anything changes in the future for me which would be the third time I would be coming back. The office manager keeps crying everytime she sees me and everyone else doesn't know what to say. I am sad too. However I need more money and I want to make an impact on my life by improving it financially. Maybe I will be less stressed out?

I want to point out that I am not a bad person. I may have gouhlish evil thoughts at times (that I maintain), but when dealing with me you will come to understand that what you see is what you get. That is why I love the (limited) freedom of this blog, it let's me say what I am thinking without hesitation.

If only people were all as honest as me.

Bulletin! Bulletin! Bulletin!

Life would be too easy without certain twists. I mean why would it be okay for me to transition to a new job without difficuilty? Is it really too much to ask for? Anyhow, the deal is that I have just entered a delicate situation. An ultimatum was put on the table for my friend who got me the job.

They told him, "You have to perform perfectly these next three months or we are going to ship your jobs off to India..." there is a lot of detail I am leaving out, but that is the gist of it.

He told me this and my jaw dropped. Not his fault, but they told him this the same day I put in my resignation... worst fucking timing ever. To top it off I am only getting the 65K and not the 70K that I did want. So I got a 20% raise as opposed to a 25% raise. No big deal, apparently if I bust my ass and show them I am worth it I can get my 70K after three months.

I knew this job would be volatile because it is a fing hedge fund, but crap... so now I am facing a strange scenario where this job could disappear soon and I will find myself laid off once again. I will tough through it though because my skill is superior. I hate to sound so arrogant, but it is the truth, I am damn good at what I do. I will pull this application together, those red dotted cheap ass bastards will not steal my jerb.

I have developed a slight hatred towards indian programmers. Whether they are here or over shores. I am going to describe the stereotype that I dislike, because just like any other stereotype this does not apply to all hindis: I hate their work ethic, their programming style is sloppy at best and overly complicated for no reason. They have shitty attitudes and they are mostly rude. They think that they know it all and that their shit don't stink. So when I am told my jerb might be shipped off to one of these offshore cheap ass shops, it makes me angry. Fuck them.

For once I can say, "They are trying to take my jerb!"

This shit sucks, but I will make the best of it while I can.

T-Mobile Prepaid Network Outage for all of Florida

T-Mobile's prepaid network went down around 16:00. There was an outage for all of Florida. This is strike one for you guys. Three strikes and I will just go pay for cheaper service with boost. I can just sell my phone if I want to. Fuck T-Mobile, they have been getting under my skin lately ever since I went prepaid. They fucked up my mother's plan pretty good, so now I think they are going to lose two customers soon.

Money Found

I am pretty sure I got the job. The job location I am not thrilled about, but you know what for the extra major bump in pay, fuck it. I am more than happy to give it a shot. I will be working at a hedge fund, developing their software. I am quite content with the benefits, although it excludes a 401K all together which is sad. No worries though, I can invest my money better than the damn 401K anyhow.

I will finally get what I am worth which is anywhere between 65 and 70K which I am more than happy about. That helps me aleviate my money problems period. Remember when I said I would stop complaining about money, well this is me stopping (as soon as I get the job).

First plan of attack, get new gaming rig :-D second thing to attack outright are my student loans. I will start to pay them down vigorously and I think I will be paying off a huge chunk of a loan after I sell my old car and lease a new one. I need to rebalance my joint budget so that my wife can relax some of the bills she has, I want to do that for her. My conquest for getting my life in order is on its way.

Unfortunately it is time to move :'( yet again. These three years flew by and the people I work with are great. The place isn't, this is very bitter sweet. Fuck it.

New Jobs

I always start to doubt myself when I find a new job or a new job finds me. I become slightly depressed because I will definitely miss the people I work with, but not the people I work for. My boss is a dick head who operates on frat boy principles. He also won't hire women, so I think he is sexist. He has had the opportunity to hire 4 women, he has found some sort of ridiculous excuse each time to not hire them. Or he uses the excuse of the boys club and avoiding problems such as sexual harassment etc...

Anyhow I am feeling slightly guilty about leaving, but at the same time I think that if they really valued me they would give me what they owe me. I feel disrespected for the most part. The only thing that sucks about this new job is the drive. I will survive though, not too worried about it. I need the money.

Investments

So I bought a treasury bill, unfortunately the fucking bill was bought at 0% interest, which I didn't think was even possible. So now the US treasury has 100 of my dollars and they are going to give it back to me in 4 weeks. Fucking awesome.

As far as lending club goes, you can be a lender unless you make 70K or have 250K in assets. Fucking ridiculous in my opinion. If someone has money to lend, why not fucking take it?

Anyhow that shouldn't be too much of a problem soon enough.

Movement

I got more details about my potentially new job and I am quite thrilled at what is offered. I already have 50% of the vote, I just need to gain the other 50% and I am in like sin. I keep thinking about if this is a good idea, but I am convinced it is because of the great pay, the great sound of the work environment, the fact that things are done correctly and the person I would be working with would be someone I know and trust.

The arguments for leaving are too good, the arguments for staying are less than substantial. The only thing that is vaguely offered is that changes are coming... they neglect to say at the same pay... The offered benefits are horrendous and the work environment is terrible for what I am being paid.

I am the lynch pin at my current work place and you know what, it feels good to know that when I leave that they are going to hurt bad. They are going to bleed. I am glad because they need to learn their fucking lesson finally. They need to realize not offering growth, not listening to warnings from their professionals and under funding an operation while demanding perfect results is ludacris and they need to grow the fuck up. Right now they sound like a bunch of whiney assholes,  "We want you to work for shit pay, have shit resources and give us back golden results."

Finally I have movement, something is happening a decision is being made. I am getting what I have been working so hard to earn. I am not looking back this time no matter what.

Miami Bitches

I can't stand to see the usual standard issue Miami ho. Don't get me wrong, some of them are fine looking, but they usually look like transvestites. I was at a resturant on Collins Avenue in Sunny Isles and there was this blond, big breasted bimbo in a red dress with some skeezy guy. She had clumps and mountains of makeup and mascera on. Her tits were fake and I am sure this barbie doll also had face work done. Fucking pathetic. I don't understand how that is arrousing to some men. There is nothing better than real natural bueaty. Some women need makeup, but jesus christ not a mask of it. I see that shit a lot in Aventura, Brickel and any other rich areas. It's even worse with older women who used to be trophy wives, but were dumped for the newer model.

I don't consider myself one of those people because I am not loaded like they are (or pretend to be) and even if I was well off, I don't think I am stupid enough to be like them. And by stpid I really mean unintelligent, most of these lame assholes aren't intellectual enough to hold a conversation with. They can only talk about money or their possetions to try to impress people. Their daily activities include spending money on the finer things in life which they consider normal. Or going on expensive trips because they are so stressed out.

Something I can't stand about these areas is the amount of rich douche bags from other countries that come here to pollute our living areas with their slimy mentallites. There is a butt load of stuck up latins, but the ones I hate the most are Israelies, the runner up to them are the snot nosed punk ass rich hindi assholes. Or any over priviledged middle eastern punk. I fucking hate those people.

I have seen those punk ass middle eastern rich boys literally throw money at people to get their way and to be incredibly rude or lude. Israelies are a special kind of douche bag though, not only are they rude when they talk, they are always tring to sell you something. You can pretty much assume that whatever they are trying to sell you is over priced or just low quality. If they don't get their way they get rude, epecially if you question them. I have had enough experiences with these fuckers to know. They are also big play boys, they cheat on their women constantly from what I have seen and they don't care. These mother fuckers would sell their own mothers if they could.

Israeli women are usually hot, but the attitude can be a huge turn off, not to mention if they have a big dumb jock israeli brother trying to assert dominance.

So yeah... these people suck. Obviously not all of them do, but like in any culture, race or ethnicity there will be the rich over priviledge douche bags. The ones Imve mentioned above just happen to pollute NMB, Aventura and Sunny Isles.

A Storm is Brewing

There is a storm brewing for my soon to be ex-company. I can't wait to see what is going to happen after I leave. Just like my last work place, when I left so did 4 other people when they saw they were getting royally fucked. This place has been good to me, but they have fucked me on salary and benefits.

I have opted out of every benefit offered except the shitty health care and the shitty 401K. The rest of what they offer sucks major dick. In fact I don't recommend that anyone ever get the company life insurance. First off it is bad coverage usually, second if you quit, get laid off or switch jobs you will lose your coverage/policy.

When it comes to getting life insurance, STD and LTD you are better off getting these policies on your own away from the company you work for so it is portable. It makes absolutley no sense to pay the lower group rate which increases with age. You are better off getting a policy you can lock in when you are younger. I recommend MetLife,  but do your research.

The 401K offered by my job is terrible. They will match me 40% up to 4% of my (low) salary. Whoopdy doo... so I contribute 1% just because. Getting a well deserved bonus or raise is the same as pulling teeth or the risk of losing your job. So again, fuck this place.

Walgreens Pharmacy

I will never understand why the fuck it takes so long for a perscription to be filled. Hi, here is my perscription, please go to your table, get an orange bottle and put pills in it please. Thaaaaaaank youuuuu.

Instead I am told to wait 15 minutes, which really means wait 1 hour for someone to hand me an orange pill bottle. WTF are they doing back there? I've been here when it is 100% dead and it still takes forever, which is why most of the time I do a drop then pickup in the morning. So really WTF?

Update:
The only good thing from this experience was the fact that a 90 day perscription only cost me about 11 dollars with my shitty HMO. I hate my HMO, never again will I do HMO.

The Mega Bitch Slap in Numbers

So not only am I maybe quitting, I can pretty much count on about 4 or more people quitting. The people quitting are all key in their teams. So that is a total of 5 people including myself in that count. This place is a joke. They can't keep new hires because they are so fucking disorganized.

I am going to excercise my right to make more money else where. These fucking morons will hire someone new at a higher salary than keep the talent they have and give them raises. Fuck this place. I might stay if they counter me, but only if I get what I want exactly.

This place isn't a big work shop, so five people quitting equates to to a loss in 25% of overall work force. Then looking at the individual teams, my team has a 50% loss. Another team has 100% loss. And the last team has about 30% loss.

I work too hard and I get very little back. So again unless this place shows me any type of appreciation, I am out.

Itchy Palms and Itchy Thoughts

So I have been thinking non stop about car accidents lately and finally I know why... one of my co workers got into a car accident last night. Very unfortunate. What is more unfortunate is the fact that he smelled like alcohol when he came into work :-(. To make matters even worse when he was telling us his story about his car accident he kept saying he wasn't drunk but did toss back a few. When we took a look at his car it was very obvious that he hit a tree, yet he claims he hit someone with his car and they sped off...

Anyhow, I got a call back about the job I really wanted. Turns out that the guy they hired is not obedient and runs against the grain of operations. This is good for me because they will be firing his ass soon. I have first pick :-D. The job starts around 65-70K which is exactly what I want.

Reading

I am implementing a new policy into my life. I will not keep the TV on when I go to bed. I will make sure that the TV is very off instead and I will focus on my plans and I will let my mind wander. I will also put my nose into a book and force myself to read things that I hope to find interesting. The irony in my life is I love to write, but I find it very difficuilt to read anything usually. Unless it is raw data or information that doesn't have a artistic coating all over it, I usually refuse to read.

I noticed that the TV is just a huge fucking distraction in my life. It keeps me hypnotized and I can't seem to concentrate because it is so much fun to just watch and not think. In efforts to get things done when I get home I will not turn the TV on when I go to sleep during the week any longer. The choices are browsing the web for info, reading a book, a magazine, programming, drawing or designing things. I need to engage in activity, not the other way around.

This will help me shape my brain more. I also picked up piano again, I say again which was when I was like 8. I love piano, I love playing it even if I can't read sheet music yet. I can play the a few songs now from memory and just listening to my yamaha keyboard play it for me. I need to learn how to read sheet music.

Music is basically just a linked list of notes. When you play the bass side too it is two linked lists that are processed simultaneously. That is the hard part I think. I will continue untill I can play music on my own. I think it is relaxing.

Leasing Cars

I just discovered leasing as an option for getting a car as opposed to buying a car. I am not saying that it works for everyone but I am saying I think it makes more sense all around and here is why:

1. I don't care if I don't own my car

2. I don't drive too much, under 12K a year in driving

3. I don't think cars are worth buying because they depreciate in value and by the time you pay it off it is old and possibly has issues.

4. Having a newer car all of the time means you will have less problems down the road in general.

5. If anything major happens to the car it isn't my problem, it is the dealer's problem.

6. Best reason: it is always cheaper than buying

Here is a real case scenario:

I bought a 2007 Toyota Yaris for 15K base model, power nothing... I still have the car. It is now about 4 years old. 29/34 MPG for automatic transmission.

My wife and I just leased a 2012 Hundai Veroster for 275/Mo, 4 Years for 12K Miles/Year. The car is fully loaded, more gadgets than I car to name and it has a sun roof. 32/40 MPG for automatic transmission. That works out to 275*12*4 = 13,200 over 4 years.

My wife got a better car for less money than me and it is mostly worry free.

The only downside is if we choose to lease forever then that means renting a car forever. In my opinion, if you have the money then do it. Fuck owning a car that will just end up having a fucked up part at one point that will cost over a grand to fix. Plus you switch out your car every 2-4 years. Good deal in my opinion.

Overall I'd say this was a good deal.

Orginization

I am working on organizing myself. I am going to use my phone more for organization now in order to get my life in order. There is a laundry list of things I have to do as usual, but this time, this new year, I am going to go kamikaze and get shit done.

I am going to build myself a project plan and probably get a white board for myself to use. I really need to become my own boss and employee. Its time to stop dilly dallying lost dazed and confused every weekend and just get shit done. I need to be more task oriented.

Up to this point I haven't been very productive due to my lack of orginization, lack of motivation and depression. I think I am passed that now ever since I started taking synthroid, I don't feel depressed for absolutely no reason anymore. I feel better.

Money

I am at a fork in the road right now. I need to make a decision come January because that is when reviews are at my job place. I am going to basically try to demand a pay increase and get some autonomy. If he gives me the cold shoulder then I am out. I need to find another job. Which for some reason I don't think will be that difficuilt to do.

I think I might start investigating other states and see if moving to a new place makes more sense. I have nothing here that I would really miss to be honest. I want to practice engineering, but I don't think that will ever come into fruition if I stay here waiting for it. I hate Florida. I specifically hate rude people, such as Cuban Americans and other types of over priviledged latins. I digress...

Time for me to figure out if making more money is what I should be aiming for. I can't just stay at this job place because I like the people. I got bills goddamn it. What I think is the most gratifying is I have started a movement in a sense and I have like 2 other people at the office thinking the same as me. What is most impressive is that we are all heavy hitters. If we leave it is going to hurt the company a lot. I have a lot of unwritten knowledge and I maintain a lot of the modules that no one even wants to look at.

Woops

I feel like life is running away from me right now. I am pouring a lot of my time and effort into what feels like a dead end job. I keep reminding myself that I need to break away from the rat race, but it is tough to do that because it requires time and organization. I need to get really serious about making my ideas happen and soon. I can't keep delaying them and pushing them off. It isn't acceptable.

First I need to come up with a finite number of projects and just attack them. They need to be divided up into tasks and I need to stick to my own deliverables. After completing some of my ideas if I have any goddamn success with even one idea I will be able to build a legitamate business out of it and become a free lance contractor. I can charge a premium for my services.

I am considering moving over to a data specialization. I like working on data, so that is what I want to do. I also have some leads to very niche markets. I need to break off one of my current projects with a friend of mine, he is going to be pissed off, but I don't much care. The reality is he needs me way more than I need him. What pisses me off the most is he only wanted to split the proceeds 40/60, where I get 40, but I was doing all of the work. Fuck that shit.

The Contradiction of Meh

So I was kind of complaining yesterday about how I had enough of my free time yesterday, but now I am back at work and I wish I had my free time back. This always happens, just wanted to point it out is all. I contradicted myself.

I actually don't mind being back, just that coming back to work makes me remember all of the stuff I had a chance to forget about for a while. For example one of my co-workers is probably going to be terminated soon which is just sad frankly, but nothing more. I have a never ending supply of work to deal with which is good and bad I suppose. Good because it keeps me employed, bad because it isn't anything I really want to work on or it is rather pointless to work on for the most part.

Like I was saying the other day, I need to organize my time off in such a way that I will be able to work on the laundry list of things I need/want to do. Not chores, but just work items that take time for me to think about etc.

I started working with Entity Framework last night and MVC and I am pleasantly surprised for the most part. I need to explore it more later. I need to take on of my ideas and just run with it for a while and see where it takes me. I will plan that week out so I will accomplish something finally.

Meh

I feel meh right now. Been off of work for the last 4 days including today and something that happens to me often when I have plenty of time off is that I get bored pretty easily with doing nothing. So watching tv and playing video games all weekend only goes so far. I need interaction and brain challenges because I can't sit stll for very long. I can do the gluttonous thing for about 2-3 days max, but that 3rd or 4th day I start to feel ill, as in I had too much of nothing and self indulgence.

It would happen to me all the time during the summer when I was in high school. I didn't have time off in college because I always took summer courses. Then as soon as I started working the only time off I would get was always the holidays since I kept shifting jobs; I could never accrue days off which was ridiculousness. So anyhow I need to setup my up comming vacation off which will probably be in January. I will work the entire week on my projects and try to get stuff done.

One thing is for damn sure, my personal goals this year include some idea/invention submission ideas to a company that will take them. I want to get my site idea off the ground. I want to work on an electronic invention of some kind and lastly I want to read more.

Thanks Giving

I like how, like all holidays, this is just another day off. The only thing I am thankful for is the same thing I am thankful for year round every day. I am happy to be employed. That's all. Other than that I am glad that things don't suck more than they currently do. Not saying that things are horrendous, but not great which is fairly normal for me. I measure my happiness in terms of things I don't have such as money. With money comes great happiness, joy and the power to basically do what ever the fuck you want within the obvious legal limits of course.

Money = happiness

Without money you can expect to turn to god because that sham of a concept is free and makes you feel good when you have shit to look forward to in your life. Some people think friends, family and health are enough; but the underlying factor is that is a thin line. The moment you become sick people show their warrented true colors IE self preservation. It is only natural to shield yourself from things that make you feel like shit or you don't want to see. Especially when someone you know asks for money, then you have touched a personal zone. Once you are sick and require money you no longer have happiness because you don't have your health which requires money in order to maintain it. Ironic no?

So yes, Money is the root of all evil and the root of all happiness. So I want more money and I won't be happy until I have large disgusting amounts of it.

Immenent Employment Death Sentence

There are two people I work with that are going to lose their jobs but don't know it yet. It is sad, but justified. I like both people very much personally, but both of them aren't qualified for the jobs they hold. Person A is outdated because he just doesn't want to learn anything new or maybe he is incapable. Person B wants to make people believe that he knows what he is doing when in reality he doesn't have a clue.

What is especially sad about this is that they are both probably going to be furious about the whole thing instead of just realizing this about themselves. What my company should do is tell them they have 2 months to find a new job because it isn't working out anymore. I wish people could just realize that a free ride doesn't exist in the work place. You may be able to do it for a while, but ev entually it will catch up with you...

I can't save the world, but I can drop subtle hints. Person B complains that he hasn't been moved over to the position he is good for, but he doesn't know that he will never be moved to that position because of his level of compitence and because he is going to have his position replaced by someone with more knowledge than he currently offers. So I tell him, "If you aren't happy waiting you should maybe go else where. Find a place that will treat you right."

This is selfish to say but, better him than me. I have been laid off already once. I don't want it to happen again.

Smart Phones

I think buying a newer and upgraded smart phone was the best and smartest purchase I made all year. I was fretting about the 300 price tag of the phone, but it has already paid off in terms of usefulness. My wife made a good point about these purchases. You ever notice that when you buy a new phone, it comes in a pretty little almost Jewlery like box? It is because these fucking things have basically become just as expensive as a fine piece of jewlery, like a watch or an 18K gold ring with some precious stones on it. So they, in my carrier's case they give you your phone etc in a little boutique looking bag. It fits the purchase in my opinion.

I refuse to become one of those people engrossed in their phone, completely connected all of the time. I prefer to use my phone as an organization tool and less of a communications device. The older I have gotten the more antisocial I have become. I think I have successfully alienated myself from many people I knew/know. Meh, I've got shit to do and my friends don't pay my bills, life is a fucking free for all.

Money

I feel like money is just fleeing my wallet right now. I have a monumental amount expenses all of a sudden which wouldn't have hurt so bad if I didn't have to go on that aforementioned NY trip back in October. Fucking wiped me out.

I have several things to worry about now:
1. The health of my car
2. The state of my job
3. The state of my personal work
4. General expenses
5. Unwanted expenses such as doctor visits

I need to get my shit together and as of now, I don't have my act together. I hope to iron it all out soon enough. I feel like the flow in my home is most of what is blocking me from becoming inspired. I need to work on not letting it bother me.

State of Affairs

So it seems like we as a nation are gearing up for a second major war over things we can't exactly prove. We are accusing Iran of having nuclear weapons even though Iran has been complying with nuclear inspectors and allows them to check when ever they ask.
Sound familiar? It was called the Iraq war which is still not over... we are doing what we just did 10 years ago. This time we are doing it because Israel is the one pushing for it and says they are going to attack. I think this isn't fair to the USA, every time these douch bags feel like it they start some shit like what they did with Lebanaon.

Mean while our piece of shit do nothing congress can't come to an agreement about anything. I say we force them to work weekends and on the holidays until they come up with something. The other argument I made about this, is that every time they do not complete really important tasks we should reduce their income by a fraction that is equal to the amount of pain being felt by the American people. That will give them a fucking incentive to get this shit done on time.

Fuck You US Congress
Fuck You Israel
Fuck You Amidinijab

Blog Themes

I changed the blog theme today. I figured it was time for a change and now it looks like how I feel most of the time. Plus it will get you in the mood to read my posts because I don't usually have anything positive or nice to say I suppose. This is not an admissions from me that I am a negative person, I just tell it like it is and people can't handle that most of the time.

People suck.

I forgot my cell phone at home... I hate it when I do that.

Post

I am currently it in a very strange position in my life. I haven't been out of college for that long, but I have been moving very quickly career wise. I want to stay where I am because I like my job and I like everyone I work with except my boss who is a dick. The two main problems I have are my pay and my boss. If I was being paid well I wouldn't care as much, but I am not being paid well enough.

I don't know if I should just quit and go else where. I am tempted to leave because I can get a bigger better salary elsewhere.

The other side of things is I need to really buckle down with my ideas and go to town. I have several money making ideas, I just need to make them happen. I can't depend on companies to keep me employed, eventually I will be old and I will be unemployable due to my age. I fear that the most.

Breaking Old Ties

I have/had a friend who I used to get along great with; but our priorities changed. I became less patient with everyone, my tolerance for bullshit sank dramatically and it really doesn't take much for me to want to leave a place of discomfort on my time off. This guy is lude and just inappropriate most of the time which was fun to deal with in high school, but then I grew up and realized that he wasn't funny anymore and just causes everyone to be uncomfortable due to his stupid attitude.

He is too competetive in everything, whether it is work related or even casual conversations. He doesn't listen to reason until its too late and he is just all around vular. He likes to get a rise out of people for fun which was okay when we were all stupid kids just having mindless and dangerous fun. Those days are over and he doesn't know how to admit when he is wrong, stop arguing with people about really meaningless shit and grow up.

He is also racist whether he wants to admit it or not. He is a schovinist which is definitely not okay and it shows a lot now. That is probably the biggest pain in the ass about him. I hate how he thinks he is better than women. He can't stand my wife because he knows she doesn't like him because he can be a dick to women. I think he needs to take his smug opinions and he can shove it.

I tried warning him about drinking the company koolaid, but right now he thinks he is a fucking messiah at his job place which is pathetic. I could care less if he thinks he is doing really well, right now he is letting his job performance go to his head. He is thinking about playing the housing market and I warned him, but he is going to flip houses. Good luck asshole.

Oopsie

This is possibly the best and worst thing that could have ever happened at my job place. The person we hired to be a manager for our system quit today. My idiot boss was so upset apparently that he told him to leave today, that he didn't require to put in two weeks.

This happened for one reason. This guy was hired for a purpose, he was then deflected to a different unintended purpose and that didn't sit well with him. This whole scenario was predictable, I wasn't surprised that it happened, just fucking pissed off because this guy was good. He was a solid hire. Leave it to my moron of a boss to dick it up. He fucked us bad this time, this ruins our deliverables schedule because now someone new has to be hired to fill this guys position. This place is a fucking joke.

If nothing changes come January, then I am out the door and not looking back. I hate this shit. This was good because it shows my boss's boss that can't keep a well qualified hire here due to his shitty micromanagement techniques. Its bad because we lost an excellent hire.

Oh well... I guess they need to learn the hard way, bunch of mooks.

Deep Throat

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Communications Upgrade

I finally upgraded my phone and it is excellent. I upgraded my plan too, I now have a full data plan, unlimited everything at a somewhat decent price. My G1 wasn't cutting it anymore, it was killing me. This phone, the myTouch Q however is marvelous upgrade. I am still getting used to not having a trackball, but for the most part I love having a functional mini computer at my hip at all times. The best part is I can now post directly to the web when I am finished with posts.

This was an expensive but necessary upgrade for me. I am very happy.

The Hunt

I started searching for jobs and I like what I have found so far. I am not sure when I am going to actually start applying, but so far not too bad. I am going to hopefully speak to my boss's boss soon so I can tell him how I feel about our lack of direction. I put together some bullet points on what to talk about and hopefully I can woo him in the right direction.
I spoke to someone interesting over the weekend who basically told me his story about how he got out of the rat race and became his own boss. He is liberated and very sought out apparently. He decided that it didn't make sense to keep being messed with at work by his company and when he saw the opportunity he jumped for it and everything worked out for him.
I got to thinking and I want to try the same thing. I have all these ideas, I just don't know how to make that first step. I was thinking about getting a business loan, but I don't want anything that will rob me if this all falls through.

Depressed

This company is disappointing me a lot. They are expanding rapidly, but they are not doing it the right way. I feel as if they are ignoring very good suggestions that we are giving them and we are being led by a moron. My moron of a manager doesn't know what he is doing and I have no confidence in him as a manager. His technical skills are out dated and he has a major personality flaw with micro management. He wants to manage everything, but doesn't understand that he can't and shouldn't.
I am going to leave the company more than likely, just not sure where or when. I need to actually search for a job first before I can full on leave.

Snow in October?

I am currently in NY for a wedding I don't want to go to. It is on Halloween because it is cheaper to get married on a Monday in a Synagogue than it is on a weekend. Somehow the 31st of October was picked which I think is very sad and ironic somehow. It could have been a week later...
That aside, I am currently in amazement that it is snowing here. Apparently so are all the other New Yorkers, this is unusual it seems. I just find the conditions for me to be somewhere that I didn't want to be in the first place to not only be annoying but frustrating. This trip is going to be about 2K easy. I originally estimated 1K, but last minute our hotel reservation was mysteriously lost by the place we thought we booked. Last minute we end up in a Sheraton hotel in NJ near NY, Manhattan. I am paying 160 a night... fun. Gonna be here for 4 nights which is about $640 without tax and tip. This figure does not include food and transit.
So far we (keep saying we because its me and my boo) have spent like 200 bucks on food and 130 dollars on transit. This is only day 2... the figure for transit is going to take us all the way through to the end of the trip. The food we have to keep on the cheap now. We still have one more official dinner to attend which undoubtedly is going to be about 20 to 30 dollars a person. Ultimately if this was a trip I wanted to be on I wouldn't be complaining, but since it isn't I'm doing what I always do - complaining.
I just didn't plan on losing this much of my hard earned cash which I responsibly saved up for my discretionary spending. The saddest part is $1,200 could get you a a beautiful high class room on a 8-10 day cruise which includes transit, food, alcohol, tips and lodging.
I am currently in limbo at my job, I am not sure if I am coming or going.

Crud

So the job I wanted was swooped up by someone else and it's is no one's fault except mine. I could have gotten that job months ago but I decided to stay where I am at the time because I was still infatuated with the idea of fixing things here, which is obviously not going to happen. At least not any time soon.
What I don't understand is why is it wrong to try to make things better? I understand that there is change management etc, but our piece of crap software needs help and it needs it badly. I am tired of begging to make things better or to even make it all work.
I hate this place because of this and all because of one man.
Either way I think I am out the door.

Money = Happiness

I have busted my ass at this company for three years and I have pretty much been insulted non stop in small undesirable ways and now it looks like I am being passed up on the promotion scale because my boss is a shallow asshole. So I am moving on and away from this company, it is a black hole of my time and effort. I find myself more upset than anything else here, there is no room for improvement because my boss is a narrow minded idiot.
I am going to attempt moving forward with working with a friend of mine at his company. Hopefully next week's interview goes swimmingly well and I am offered the job. I think I will pass with flying colors, that is my gut feeling. They are offering 65K starting which is much better than my salary now.

Our Nations Problems

I was watching Morning Joe this morning, like I do every morning and trust me it is NOT because I like Joe Scarborough from Pensacola Florida, it is because it is better than anything else on the air at that time. CNN is crap 24/7 and I refuse to watch Fox. I like Morning Joe because the guests they bring on, the commentators, they have their finger on the pulse of what I consider news worthy and they are pretty fairly balanced in terms of political sides.

Joe is a republican every man's-man idiot and Mika Brazinsky is a sweet 1950's democratic house wife. I don't find Mika super attractive, but I'd bone her, she is strangely arousing to me.

Anyhow, I woke up this morning and Joe was showing his outrage about how some of or one of the Phillies baseball players was getting drunk in the dug out. Joe found this disrespectful. I found it not only to be the least important thing going on right now, but also not news worthy and a waste of everyone's time.

Joe was very passionate about the fact that it is disrespectful that these baseball players don't care about putting on a good show for the blue collar people of America that save up their hard earned money to see these games.

I don't care and secondly he is complaining about a private institution that doesn't really help anyone with anything important. Does it really make sense for kids to look up to people like athletes? Joe and America's priorities are screwed up if this is deemed important.

Investment Scams

I think that a 401K is a load of crap. I have already experimented with 401K and mutual funds and I believe that they are both very bad investment options. Unless you have someone who is handling you money for you, making sure that it is all good all the time, those products are a joke.

Mutual funds are the greatest losing investment. They are historically just are fucking terrible. Don't believe me? Look it up on the motley fool website.

I personally think 401Ks are a joke because they aren't safe to invest in. Yeah yeah your company contributes some funds to your account, but for fucks sake, there is no guarantee that it is going to do well. The reason is obvious, it is because it is stock based and there is no such thing as a guaranteed stock unless you are an inside trader, which is illegal of course.

My preference is guaranteed safe investments. CDs, Bonds and High Yield Savings Accounts cannot be beat. You will save your money faster yourself than any other stupid ass investment scheme that you are betting on. The best part is you don't have to worry about losing your money, especially if it is FDIC insured. I recommend American Express, since they are a trusted name and there truly is no strings attached to using them for a HYS Account.

I do have stocks, but they are literally all bets. I am in risky stocks that I am literally hoping make me rich. I am however not going to pretend to retire on stock.

This all brings me to my last point. I am going to invest in the lottery once again. Simply because it is no better than the stock market but cheaper. Much much cheaper. 52 dollars a year cheaper if you play once a week and no more. Laugh if you will, I understand that the odds are against me, but so are the stocks I invest in.

The odds for the lottery with 6 numbers, maxing out at 53 per digit, no repeats is:

Using Windows 7 Calculator: fact(53) / (fact(6) * fact(53 - 6))
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lottery_mathematics

53!/[6!*(53 - 6)!] = 22957480

Or roughly 1:22.9x10^6 Chances

I figure if I play the same numbers for the rest of my life I might hit them. I wont know if I don't try.

Fung Shwei

I never used to believe in feng shui, but now I get it. If your home or work environment does not flow well in terms of clutter or other crap in your way then you might feel apprehensive about working. I have been having some mental block lately and it was because I was in the middle of a horrible home buying experience and also because the space which I am currently living in is very cluttered. There is shit everywhere and it drives me mad, I don't know how to organize the chaos that is my home.
So in efforts to make this place more livable I (we) are going to buy furniture to make it more comfortable to live in. I want my office to work and have a good flow.

Post

I don't have much to say right now. I guess I am just glad that I was able to dodge the bad house bullet. I am getting my deposit back and lots of luck to the seller. That house is in deplorable condition. Love the area, but the last straw for me was not being able to get a normal home owners insurance on the house due to an active leak. I could have gotten a builders risk policy, but fuck that.
When I have more money for a down payment, I will try again. Right now I want to walk away from this housing nightmare and try again a year later. My life has been on hold for a damn year now due to this house, but I did learn a lot from this whole experience.
Something has to be said about having the discipline to save up the money to do all of this. It is difficult, but I can do it.

Perfect Storm Conditions

So I walked away from my house purchase because it was becoming more trouble than it was worth. The ups and downs of this house sale were ridiculous. I don't recommend anyone ever go through a short sale, they can all screw off. I was stuck in house limbo for over a year and it has been a borderline nightmare, but I have learned a lot from this whole experience.
Rule number 1: you do not have to feel obligated to buy a home that you have put an offer on. No one can force you to give up your money.
Rule number 2: If you feel uncomfortable with the situation, then it is better safe than sorry. You need to walk away from it if you feel that you might be making a mistake. Don't go into buying a house with cold feet, you will have buyers remorse.

Doctor's Office Visit

So I get a bill from my doctors office telling me that I owe them 110 dollars. I got really fucking pissed off and didn't look at it for a day to avoid getting more pissed off. So I look at my BCBS online account and I see that they denied the claim made by my doctors office. No reason why, just that they don't cover those services even though it says in black and white that they have an allowed amount for my claim.
So I call BCBS and I get put on the infinite hold line. So I email them instead to ask them to explain themselves. Then I call my doctors office and I am sent to billing where no one picks up, just left to leave a message.
One of the things that pisses me off about doctors offices is they don't tell you the cost of procedures or even if they are covered under your plan. It should be a fucking requirement that if it is not going to be covered then they need to fucking tell you that before doing the procedure. Its not fair that I have to find out after the fact and then I have to pick up the bill because these jack offs don't want to communicate.
I call BCBS the next day and I get a hold of someone. They inform me that my doctor is out of network hence the denial. The reason though is because my doctor does not accept HMO. The mother fuckers don't accept HMO even though they gladly let me continue service knowing this. I need to collect as much information as possible in order to fight my way out of this one. I don't want to pay.

Hubris

A co worker of mine went on site to one of our child companies and I think all of the positive responses he is getting is going to his head. I hate how he thinks that they trust him and love him. If I was in charge I would make him look bad in front of them on purpose so that he would come off his high horse. Nothing annoys me more than emotional people in important situations.
He becomes aroused with emotion and over sympathizes with the client so to speak. I hate calling them that, but it is easier to say client than it is to say, "individual who works for company that we own."
The clients pulled him into a meeting that he didn't belong in. They were asking him important questions that he shouldn't have been answering. Right now he thinks he is super liaison. I want to smack him when he comes back.

Hack Shop

The place that I work at is what I would like to call a hack shop. We are given very poor resources and expected to come out with stellar results. They give us these business grade laptops and expect us to get our jobs done quickly and efficiently using fucking Dell Latitudes. A latitude is good for a fucking pencil pusher, not a developer. Inspiron is the lowest you should go for development. What pisses me off is the fact that they give us the least and expect us to make the most out of it.
This is a hack shop that is pretending to be a development shop, then I have people internally telling us what we are doing wrong after the fact... a lot of good that does. Fucking idiots want the best code and performance ever, but don't want to pay for it either.
Right now I am just so sick and tired of the treatment I get here and the disrespect that comes with it. I am afraid to ask for a raise because I think I will be told no and then they will put me on their replacement list. On one hand I want to tell them to go fuck themselves, find a higher paying job and just leave. On the other hand I am afraid to leave because I am technically in a very good and powerful position with respect to the future. This company is still technically a start up and has a ton of potential with my manager's role being changed soon which would change everything.
I just don't know what to do and the worst thing is, who says it will be any different anywhere else?

Wants

After I get my house I would like to have the following in no particular order:
01. A new android phone
02. Switch to boost mobile to save more money
03. New pc gaming rig
04. Upgraded server rig
05. Netbook
06. Shed
07. Angle grinder
08. Welder (not sure what kind yet)
09. Drill press
10. Miter saw
11. Wet saw
12. Newer drill
13. Tap and die set
14. Newer drill bits
15. Table saw
16. New tool box
17. Tool chest
18. Newer larger capacity air compressor
19. New car
20. Pay down student loans
21. New car for wife
22. Vibrating knife tool thingy
23. Composter
24.

One Sided Negotiations

So for just right now, during the year of 2011, it seems that asking the bank that owns a house under short sale to reduce their asking price down by 20K is actually okay. The reasoning I have gotten so far is that they would be idiots if they didn't lower it because we are so far inside with the sale that it just wouldn't make any sense not to.

I think that is flaky reasoning and wishful thinking. Either way at least it is a reason to not give up hope yet. The other side to this is that I have asked like 4 or 5 people already about their thoughts on all of this and they have all consistently said the same thing, "yeah... that's normal. Just renegotiate." I was shocked each time I heard it.

From what I understand, this is considered normal for right now. These banks need to get their crap houses out of their books. It is just more of a liability right now.

Affordable Marraige

Was legally married today to my girl.

Office Warfare

I am thinking about, and I probably am, going to invest in a voice recorder that looks like a USB drive. I do not trust my boss at all and I think it makes more sense to start recording our discussions from now on. Whether it is a group discussion or a one on one interaction, I want to record our discussions so I can review them later and so I can use them as proof too if need be.

I am being told to be patient, but I am not sure how much longer I can wait while I am letting other opportunities pass me by. I can be making about 25-30% more than I am making now. The only problem is that I am not sure how safe any of those jobs out there are in comparison.

The Homeowners Game

I got confirmation from my closer that South Florida homes require type HO3 insurance. I also got my policy lowered to about $1,800 per year by sacrificing a lot on the policy.

So I got my appraisal back and my worst fears have been confirmed the appraisal came in under 10K than asking price. Fuck. Then the next thing is that my closer did a voodoo calculation that I don't understand worth a damn and actually said that it is 20K under. So we need to go back to the negotiation table with the owner and short sale bank bastards and attempt to get them to drop the value by 20K.

This does not look good. I am ready to walk. I got fucked out of 370 dollars for an inspection and 425 dollars for an appraisal that fucked me so far.

This is some confusing shit.

Oh Come On Now!

So the good faith estimate (GFE) for the home owners insurance for my house is $1,200 a year according to my loan officer. It turns out that after we started getting quotes and all this crazy bullshit we find out that it is realistically anywhere between 2,500 to 5,000 dollars for HO3 grade insurance per year! Holy shit, that GFE is not good, it is just a Faith Estimate. So I have been going apeshit crazy trying to figure out how to lower the policy. Not easy and no good. No matter what the best I can find is about $3,000.

Fuck you citizens insurance and fuck you insurance companies in general for skipping town after being required to do your job. You know... make good on the insurance part of the insurance. Citizens can kiss my ass because their rates are purposely high because they don't want homeowners to use them (this is a Florida Republican invention by the way)... well how the fuck am I supposed to be insured by someone who isn't Citizens if NO ONE ELSE WILL COVER FLORIDA? How is that fair or legal?

Thanks Florida Republicans, yall suck.

Fridgerator Courtesy

It is annoying at times to share a refrigerator with so many other people. If everyone would just bring a bagged lunch, lunch box or equivalent it would be fine. However there are those times where people bring in their shopping for lunch for the whole week. That is very nice, but what about everyone else? We want space for our stuff too? I mean hell I bring a bag back and forth every day, so I am not taking up space for very long.

The worst part is when stuff starts going bad and begins to reek like hell. Are you really going to tell me that you forgot about all the fucking shopping you just did? The same people who shop for the week, leave stuff in the fridge to die, then rot for an unwanted odor.

What the fuck?

Underwriters

There are jobs out there that I think people have that are tough to do because it forces them to be the bad guy in a sense. One of those jobs is software or systems testing. What I want to talk about though is mortgage "underwriters". These people are basically fact checkers, they make it so that any piece of documentation you give them must be scrutinized and verified.

I have to say, it is a little frustrating at times, but they are doing their jobs. I just didn't enjoy some of the more annoying parts like being asked, "where did this number come from in your bank statement?" I would think to myself, "Its money, small amount, why do you care? Want me to pay you or not?" I mean its not like it is drug money where 20K was deposited mysteriously into my account over nigh in cash.

At any rate... they are doing their job. They are protecting the bank and themselves.

Legal Drug Pushers

Have you ever gone to your doctor to get a serious concern of yours put to rest? I have. I have gone to several doctors and just like going to any other professional for their opinion, I have had good doctors and bad doctors. The good doctors seem to care, show genuine interest and have a great knowledge base. The bad doctors don't care, have no interest, are concerning with just getting you out of their office so they can get paid, have a shitty knowledge base due to a lack of care and inexperience and are pill pushers. I have gone to the doctors for some serious concerns and they always seem to want to just fix everything with a pill instead of checking me out and looking at my problems or at my blood test.

The only thing these "doctors" seem to do now a days is look at your weight and tell you, "you are obese and need to lose weight" then to add insult to injury they tell you that because your chemistry numbers don't fall into a predetermined varying range of numbers that you must take a pill in order to get back to that fucking pointless and sometimes made up range of numbers. My resentment for doctors has only increased over the years because there is a group of words I don't want to hear from someone that I depend on for life and death situations and that group of words is "I don't know...". It makes me see red when I hear a trained professional who is getting paid at least six figures that they don't know what is wrong with you or why you feel ill. I know they aren't mind readers but goddamn it they don't seem to try either. The only solution they have to almost everything is, "I am giving you a prescription for something you cannot pronounce and is far from even being natural. It is going to make you depressed and not want to have sex, but you have to take it because your chemistry numbers indicate that you are out of range and that isn't good."

When are people and doctors especially going to realize that you cannot pidgin whole everyone into one category of numbers? We are different breeds of people depending on what area we come from. We are animals. Dogs and cats have breeds, we treat them differently depending on where they are, but when it comes to humans there is this fake idea that we are all physically equal which is horribly wrong. This is not about being racist at all, this is about realizing and accepting that we ARE indeed different physically. There are a lot of genetic studies that are done that prove this otherwise there wouldn't be statistics like, "Black males are more prone to heart disease." Why do you think that is? Because the black breed of people are built differently than everyone else. The same concept applies to people from the middle east, they are also prone to having heart disease and high cholesterol. However for some breeds of people this has got to be normal. I want to believe that is because they live in hotter climates and their blood is constantly heated which is why it probably won't affect them too badly because it keeps their blood thin. Moving over to the polar opposite, look at how well Russians live in cold weather, that isn't a mere coincidence that is like that for a reason. They were bred and adjusted to cold climates. I am guessing that they are stark white to match their surroundings. Eskimos have naturally high cholesterol because they live in freezing weather all of the time and they are fine, they aren't on cholesterol medication. However if an Eskimo went to an American doctor, that doctor would damn that Eskimo to hell because his cholesterol and weight are elevated.

I am going to equate the modern day General Practitioner to a drug pusher. I am not the first to make this comparison and I won't be the last. I also think that the modern day General Practitioner's job can be replaced by a robot or a trained monkey which ever is cheaper. I already aired my complaint about them above, but again they look at your numbers and stupidly say that you belong in a poorly constructed range of numbers; then they prescribe you drugs to get your numbers back into that pointless bullshit range.

I have been doing everything in my power to work out and eat right. I impress people with my dedication, but I have a thyroid problem which means my metabolism doesn't work well enough. I am hot all of the time and I sweat a lot. I have been taking Levothyroxine (most commonly known as the brand name Synthroid) to correct this because I decided it was a good idea. I refuse to take these pill pusher's cruddy and unsupported advice at face value. I did my research and I ran my own tests. I have lost about 40 pounds and I have lowered my chemistry numbers down to what I think is acceptable with diet and exercise. My cholesterol is elevated, but guess what, my cholesterol has ALWAYS been elevated even since I was a child. So the doctor's predetermined bullshit range of numbers doesn't fit me because I am not bred that way. I am also considered obese. I am tall, have big feet and currently weight 213 pounds. I constantly have people telling me I look fine for my size, skinny even. When I tell the my doctor says I am obese their mouths hang open. So all of these things, little things, amount to one giant case against "traditional" bullshit drug pushing medicine.

Finding a doctor is difficult which is why I have pretty much become my own general practitioner. I advise my self to go to the correct specialist after research.

The hospital is a whole other area of disgust to me, starting with the nurses and ending with the bastard doctors who should be ashamed to call themselves doctors. They apparently know NOTHING because all I ever hear out of them is "I don't know...". I have watched people die because they "don't know". I don't trust doctors. Fucking drug pushers. Mother fuckers charge you 80 bucks for a single goddamn Tylenole. All of these doctors are guilty of over charging insurance companies because they are price gougers, thanks to them they increase our premiums and make things are stupid as they are. Trust my, I am not defending insurance companies they are just as worthless as the doctors who scam them. Ever get a scope shoved up your nose? Apparently that is considered surgery and you pay the surgery price because of it. Stupid shit like that pisses me the fuck off.

One of the industries I hate the MOST, possibly more than the drug pushers is their lovely suppliers which are correctly named drug companies or the euphemism "Pharmaceutical Companies". These bastards are the drug makers, they make all of the trash that these so called doctors push out to their users. Now don't get me wrong some of these drugs are useful, I use Claritin on a regular because I have a dust-mite allergy and it can be debilitating at times, but these bastards make drugs for things that don't even make sense sometimes. A lot of these drugs are probably responsible for many cancers that people get. These bastards just like the insurance companies don't give a flying fuck about anyone. They just want money.

I don't care if they have large student loans to pay off, no one forced them to be doctors. Just like I don't give a shit if an aspiring actress or actor has two jobs to fund their dreams, go fuck yourself you don't HAVE to live like that you CHOOSE to live like that. I wanted to be an artist, but artists don't make much money so instead I became an engineer to make ends meet.

Lastly, just to state what should seemingly be fucking obvious: OBVIOUSLY not all doctors, nurses, drug reps, insurance reps etc. etc. fit the bill I described above. I do have some doctors and etc. that have treated me right. However it is not okay that there are people in this important profession that act as drug pushers.

Houses

Things are jiving along with the house. I just paid 5K to escrow, not thrilled about it, but it is necessary. I am drawn to buying a house while other people are so weird about the process, just like with credit cards. It really isn't all that complicated, the process is simple, just do what they tell you and you will be fine.

My philosophy is simple:

Credit Cards

Pay down your bill immediately or in advance. You are borrowing money from yourself. If you don't think you are going to be able to pay it off then you shouldn't have used it to begin with. The moment you let yourself go and charge charge charge is when you should cut up your credit card or use a prepaid version like the one Russel Simmons promotes.

Buying a House

It is not a resale investment. Just because you poured 50,000 dollars into your house, you upgraded it etc... doesn't mean anyone is going to buy it. You buy a house to live in it and sell it if you need to move. If you don't make money in the process then too fucking bad, that wasn't the point. Only rent a house you have paid off before attempting to buy a new one.

Bottom line, if you don't want to own a house, then go rent. However when you grow older and it becomes more difficult to find a job, I will laugh at you because my house will be paid off and I will live rent free. I will only have to pay insurance and property taxes which over the span of a year is about 75-80% less than renting. I will be able to retire easily.

I am just annoyed with all of the people who bought a house and regret it now. Idiots all bought in expensive. 1600/month rent. Mine is going to be 1400/month, which isn't bad. It is less than what I pay in rent now. I am going to pay it down fast too because I like doing that kind of stuff, its a thrill for me. I can't wait to do anything I goddamn want to do to my house. People can kiss my ass.

The only fear that I have with owning a house is not being able to make my mortgage. I will do everything in my power to be on time and current, but if for whatever reason I get hit hard financially, and I cannot bounce back, I am willing to accept foreclosure. Fuck it.

Got Wood?

I was building a wooden box out of pressure treated wood. This box is going to live outside so it needed to be pressure treated. I made a frame out of 2"x2" and used 1/2" plywood as the facing. I bolted everything together as best I could with lag bolts and I used wood glue to bond the plywood to the frame which of course was accompanied by nails and screws.

I used Spax brand screws which kick ass by the way, just wanted to put that out there. They are flared screws that you don't have to pre-drill for (depending on the application).

I used interior wood glue, BAD idea! Its no joke, use the designated glue for exterior. The interior glue will not dry outside in humid weather.

Something that annoys the piss out of me though is that the inscribed wood measurements are a blatant lie! Why the hell is it that when I purchase 2"x2", it is actually 1-1/4"x1-1/4"? Same with other cuts of wood. Like a 1'x2' is really 10"x1-1/4. Why do they do that? It completely fucks up my calculations each time, because stupid me keeps thinking the tag on the wood means what it means. I really need to look it up and find out.

Fuck Me

So I get in contact with billing and it turns out that the fucking letter I gave them from BCBS and the temporary ID card and me saying "I think its a PPO" incriminates me automatically. I fucked myself because I said its a PPO when all they accept is PPO and in reality I have a fucking HMO. Why the fuck can't BCBS just use those fucking terms instead of "Blue Care" or "Blue Plus". Which is fucking meaningless.
So now I made a 110 dollar mistake because that is what I owe them. Their fucking billing staff never picks up the fucking phone when you call them. I hate that kind of shit, I hate those mean fucking billing people and awful receptionists with the bad fucking attitudes.

High Volume Anger

I am currently experiencing the kind of angry that I experience when I am at the tipping point or the verge of a melt down. I now know how people feel before they go on a fucking killing spree. In life its okay to be an asshole as long as you don't break any laws. If you break morality laws it doesn't matter unless the people above you are moral or have visibility of your moral issues. I swear if there was any power I wish I could have, I wish it was the power of death. I wish I was the cosmic being death. I wish I could only be seen when I want to reveal myself and take the lives of people who deserve it.
Where is a fucking hell girl when you need one.
I am trying so hard to calm down right now which is why I am writing down how I feel so that I don't start screaming or yelling at anyone. I am at the breaking point and it is very difficult to not turn. I have dealt with the billing bitch from hell today, admittedly my fault that I got fucked on this and I was passed up today on going to a lunch meeting with one of our potential hires. My asshole boss excluded me from an interview and picked one of the people under me in stead. Said he had more technical knowledge. I am heavily insulted.
So I have been on edge all morning already and it doesn't help that I owe 110 dollars now that I didn't plan on.

Playing House

So I have been trying to buy a house and let me just say it has been rather difficult. Finding it has been retarded, putting a bid in has been absolutely ridiculous, then dealing with all the paper work is uncomfortable. Almost a nightmare.

The amount of money involved in buying a house is ridiculous. It costs too much to buy one and the games you have to play are ridiculous. There is a lot proof that has to be provided, there is a lot of running around and pre-investments that are done. I had to pay $370 dollars for a full house inspection, I had to pay $450 dollars to my mortgage company for fees and other craziness and my all time favorite is $1500 dollar earnest payment. This doesn't include the $10K-15K dollar closing costs and not to mention I found out that I have to buy homeowners insurance on my own which I am going to have to pay the first year of all in one shot. That could be $2-4K easily.

This is going to be tough. The good news is I have been smart about the money I have been saving. The next deal after that is getting my roof fixed, I can't afford that because it is just to goddamn expensive right now to deal with. I have gotten estimates of $11-14K which is pretty goddamn expensive if you ask me.

My point is for all this, is that I want a house. Not because it is an investment, but because I am going to live in it. A house should not be considered an investment, it is considered a place where you live. The property value should be of no concern to you. The goal is to buy the house and pay down the mortgage to zero so that you can live mostly rent free at one point.

If you want an income property, do not try to juggle two mortgages, pay one off first, then rent it out when you purchase a new property.

Beliefe

I really hate it when you try to explain something to someone on a serious note and all they can do is make fun of you as you tell them. They only get serious too when it concerns them or they deem it serious.

I don't think I have ever made fun of someone while they were telling me something serious. Its hurtful and makes you not want to tell that person or people anything again. They are now categorized as impersonal and untrusted for serious problems. Its disappointing. One thing I will not tolerate from people is telling someone they can't do something or that they will not achieve a reachable goal. Those people are antagonists and not the kind of people you want to hang around because all they want to do is see you not succeed so they themselves don't feel like losers.

I had, at one point, several friends like that. I would explain my ambitions to them and they would laugh. In reality I think they were just jealous and would tell me things to discourage me so that I wouldn't attempt anything so they themselves would not be proved wrong.

Well I say fuck those kinds of people, use them for what they are worth, then walk all over them to get to the top. I won't stop until I am at the top looking down. When I get there, I will rain piss down on them all. They will look up and beg me for money and I will send them to the streets to beg like the beggars they are.

Don't ever let anyone tell you - you cannot do something

Jealousy and Anger

I was listening to NPR the other day like I sometimes do and I heard this story: NPR: Young Entrepreneur... and I have heard stories like it before and every time I hear one I become very demotivated and almost morbidly depressed. Being 100% honest, which is what I do best, it is because I am very jealous and become angry that the success they are talking about is not my own. Mostly because these types of stories always portray that what the young entrepreneur is doing was so damn simple and gosh any moron could do it. I do have to agree that sometimes the ideas are indeed so fucking simple I should have thought of them. What does make me upset though is that a lot of these stories don't explain the amount of resources available and advantageous environments available to these people.

What pissed me off the most about this article/story was this "Young 22 Year Old Entrepreneur" does not carry a degree in engineering, yet she managed to make this contraption. I have two degrees in engineering and I haven't had a chance to use them yet. So I am jealous that someone younger than me, who does not have an engineering degree, simply looked up articles on the net and fabricated the device she fabricated. I would like to know how and why that was so easy for her to do. Which is why I was saying that she must have had resources available to her and her environment allowed her to do this pretty easily it seems. It takes a lot of effort to make a physical device of any kind because it is usually expensive, requires equipment which is costly and if you want to patent your idea it takes a shit-ton of effort and money. Minimum $3000 dollars for a provisional patent and if you want to make sure you get it done right you have to hire a patent layer. Don't believe me look it up on the USPTO website. So someone gave this 22 year old her funding. I can't afford to do anything like this (even though I really want to) and I am out of college and I have a fucking job that pays just under okay. The other side of this is that the contraption she developed isn't terribly complicated, but the instrumentation required for this requires at least 3 pieces of equipment:

1. Signal Generator (30 dollars min for a low functioning analog unit - up to $4000+ http://www.jameco.com/)
2. DC Power Supply (150 dollars min for a 30VDC@5A PSU single polarity unit - up to $4000+ http://www.mpja.com/)
3. Oscilloscope (~300 dollars min for a low end unit check out http://www.saelig.com/ - up to $4000+)

Each one of those pieces of equipment are pretty expensive no matter how you spin it. She mentioned ultrasound as the medium used to stimulate quartz crystals, I would imagine this would require equipment that can handle at least 2 Mega Hertz (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ultrasound), that being said it raises the cost of all of the equipment that needs to be used. Not so simple anymore huh? There is a part of this story that doesn't make much sense to me. Environmental advantages, resources and other help had to have been had here. I also don't like how she was running experiments at NASA... as if that is a daily occurrence for Female 22 year olds...

Perry seems to have always gone through life on fast forward. She was just in Houston running a zero-gravity experiment for NASA, where she was a student ambassador. She flew in a plane that went up and then down at very high velocity. 

What the fuck? No seriously what the fuck? Like how does that happen unless you know somebody? You need to have connections for this kind of stuff. In South Florida, these kinds of opportunities are taken away from everyone because unless you live in the white North Florida you are destined to be a loser with all of the wondrous corruption down here and lack of funding. All of our funding which is GENERATED IN THE SOUTH is given away to the white North.

So I am upset because they make it sound so fucking easy, like this is rather normal and any moron with a computer who looks up some articles on ultrasound can do this. I beg to differ. Goddamn it, I will commit suicide if I don't make it. I want success so bad I can taste it and no one will help me get there or hand me jack shit on a platter. I may not be a 22 year old girl with plenty of resources, but I do have a lot of good ideas and the know how - I just need the money and the time. So when I figure out a way to get a patent lawyer to help me out, I will make a move.

I made a lot of assumptions, but I don't care because that is what I took away from the story. Good for her I suppose...

Restaurant Service for Customers

This is a gigantic pet peeve of mine. I went to Ikea today to parooze what they have to offer for kitchens, bathrooms and bedrooms. All really great stuff, but one thing that annoyed me to no end was their food. Everything would have been fine with their self service Restaurant/Cafeteria deal if they wouldn't have crossed one line of mine and I am sure of other peoples'.

I got the Turkey Wrap that they offered. The ingredients that they claimed to be in the wrap were the following:

1. Turkey
2. Cheese
3. Wrap (not noted, but implied by the name)

"Great!", I thought to myself, because I really didn't like anything else they had to offer to me. There was a lot of fried breaded food and a lot of Swedish meatballs.

I got my wrap, coffee and a slice of chocolate explosion cake. I sat down and bit into the Turkey wrap, the first bite was fine, the second bite was slightly different... I thought it was my imagination, so I bit into it again and this time I got a mouth full of some yellow goop I am pretty sure I was not told was going to be in my fucking wrap. There was a type of mustard in my wrap... I am pretty sure the description that was written indicated "Turkey" and "Cheese" "Wrap", not fucking "Turkey Cheese Lettuce Mustard Wrap". If I knew there was mustard in it I wouldn't have gotten it. So I was trying to scarf it down (I was starving) and trying to ignore the fact that mustard was in it, but my mind got the better of me and I started to gag. I lost my appetite on top of that because I FUCKING HATE MUSTARD. I hate ALL condiments, mustard, mayo, ketchup, salad dressing etc... they are all fucking disgusting.

Ironically I do like steak sauce (yeah yeah one of the ingredients is ketchup, shut up) and almost all BBQ Sauce of any kind.

My point is, and this is a good fucking point in my opinion, they wouldn't dare putting peanuts or peanut butter in something else without indicating it first. So why is it okay for Restaurants and the like to not indicate this. I had the same problem with a certain bakeries. I, for a long time, would never get a Cinnamon role because there would always be RAISINS in my FUCKING CINNAMON ROLE! Again it says "CINNAMON ROLE" not "CINNAMON RAISIN ROLE". I went to Panera Bread, ordered a Turkey Sandwich which was described to be: smoked turkey, lettuce and your choice of bread. They fucking put Mayo in my sandwich without ASKING, I get up and tell them I won't eat it and they say, "But it comes with mayo!" I reply, "IT ISN'T IN YOUR DESCRIPTION!" It's not fucking obvious if you don't put it in the description you fucking idiots and it is also a really good way to piss off your customers. I think Burger King learned their fucking lesson with this because they had to keep remaking sandwiches when someone said, "OMG There is Tartar Sauce on this piece of shit!" I would get the fish sandwich and like clock work they would put Tartar sauce on it which is mayonnaise + relish or some disgusting green shit, which is even more disgusting.

One of my friends tards out when people put nuts on their brownies, he will sit there and pick off every fucking walnut until they are all gone. I agree, nuts do not belong on brownies!

So take a fucking hint, if you are going to ninja in a condiment, at least try to drop a fucking hint before someone eats it and nearly throws up.