I like my job, I am just afraid to lose it. I have been slacking off in the morning quite a considerate amount and I feel guilty doing it, it's just that I have been having a very hard time focusing or getting ready to work.
It isn't usually until after 13:00 where I can get any real work done. Really it comes down to crunch time or push comes to shove. When push comes to shove I am busting my ass, which is why I am or should be rewarded accordingly. I do work hard and I get everything done, I just don't do it on some sort of pre-defined schedule. It is all comfort for me. When I feel ready then I do it.
I have been pretty tired lately and I am afraid of my medical future.
I am not necessarily afraid of dying, I am afraid of dying for poor reasons. If I pass on right now, shit will suck for a lot of people. They can cash in on my 100K life insurance policy, but I am sure it is going to throw a bunch of shit out of whack.
Anyhow, I am going in for minor surgery and I am not thrilled about it.
I just don't want anymore health related bad news. I hate knowing that my contracting cancer has such a high probability. I am not happy about it. I am still trying to decide if I would bother with getting treatment if I were to have a serious case of cancer. I could go breaking bad and make a fortune in meth sales before I die, but where would I find a junky partner to help me? I guess that is a no go.
If I had some incurable form of cancer, I wouldn't bother trying to fight it. I would just put all my money in some good investments for my mother and wife and that would be that. Then I would continue working until I died.
No comments:
Post a Comment