Undue Stress

I knew it was only about a matter of time before I started to dislike my new boss. I always knew my boss was a big dick, but I didn't have to really experience his bullshit until recently where I have been taking instruction directly from him. My boss's first language was not English and therefore his assignment/project explanations are the worst I have ever received. He doesn't know how to express himself in English words and his thought process is a complete fucking mess. He wouldn't be able to explain himself out of a paper fucking bag or to save his life. When he can't explain things to people properly, or they don't understand it, he gets excited, not the good kind, the bad upset kind of excited. It is very taxing as the person listening to him attempt to explain what he has locked away in his fucking brain what it is that he wants.

He is also making a big mistake that a lot of people make where he assumes I understand the business completely. It is ridiculous for him to do that, but he just like many others, just throw their arms up the in the air and pretend that I should just know it already. Yes, because I automatically understand that there is no series for pricing when it comes to a mortgage product. If you are scratching you head in confusion, then good because NO ONE would fucking know that unless they studied it and work with it every day! He assumed I knew this bullshit detail. Yes - because a fucking software developer automatically understands financial products, because we all took business classes and had a year or more experience trading stock.

I think it is very rude and inconsiderate for these business types to do that. This is the second fucking place where I have worked where the management likes to assume you know the business already. It is not fair and it is stupid. Unfortunately there is jack shit I can do about it here. The next level up is the CEO to complain to and I will not do that because my boss is the other owner of the company. I strongly think, not joking, that my boss needs to take English and Verbal Communications classes - because he is a shitty communicator. It just makes everyone upset for no fucking reason. He is the one that is flipping out and frankly I don't think there is any reason for it. This is his project, he doesn't answer to anyone, and he is telling me that this needs to be finished soon which is horseshit because it didn't exist prior to this. So NO it doesn't need to be finished soon since this is in house software and he answers to no one but himself!

He has completely demotivated me for today because of the way he spoke to me. I need to watch myself because I might get in trouble or fired for fighting back. He really made me feel worthless the way he was speaking to me. I am having some high anxiety right now, which is why I am not working right now and writing this post instead. I gain complete mental block when things like this happen and now I fear going into a depressive state again because of this event. Which of course I don't want to happen.

I hate to say this, but if I need to, I will quit again. I've learned life is too short to go work for someone who is a complete prick asshole every day if it is going to make you miserable and anxious all of the time. I hate it when this happens to me, I am quite upset and anxious right now - I feel the depression coming on and I am sort of freaking out about it. I am getting to the point where the only way out I see is working for myself, I am not sure how to do that yet, but I am working on it. I wouldn't mind going back to my old company, but I am not sure if I should yet. I want to, but again not sure if it is a good idea.