Weeds

I just finished the last season of weeds and I have to say this is one of the best TV shows I have ever watched. I loved the show, very addicting. Sometimes I had to take breaks in between seasons or episodes because it got repetetive, but the season finale episodes always pulled me back in.

Spoiler Alert:
I like how the progression of the show happened. I love how Nancy Botwin went from being this mother you felt really bad for to this mega walking fuck up. The last episode was a perfect wrap up of the series because I think the people who ran the show realized this series could really go on forever, but they also wanted to end it gracefully. That is my opinion, not fact. They should have made the last episode an hour long though to make it more like a movie. I was worried when I started watching the last episode because at that point I didn't know if they were going to just end it without an explanation or if they would finish it gracefully.

Either way, one of the best series ever.

The Rat Race

I would like to make at least one of my ideas come into fruition. I think I will make it happen too because I am finally organizing myself both financially but living too. I want to do well now. I am going to organize myself more by creating a project plan and forcing myself to meet deliverables. I will schedule time for myself to get things done so I know ahead of time what to expect and so that nothing else will get in my way.

I have a good feeling about this stuff. I just need to make it happen.

Big Corporate Culture

I have been in big corporate offices and unless it is structured well, I would never want to be in one ever again. I have seen some of the strange things that occur there, one of which being the unskilled idiot worker. The unskilled idiot worker is a person that says they can do a job, but are missing all of the qualifications to do said job and then get upset when they are questioned about their poor performance. I have seen this type of person more than once and what I have learned is this type of worker will not make it far in a smaller company. They usually try to lay low and get close to nothing done, if anything at all and eventually are laid off or fired due to a lack of performance.

They can't make it in a smaller company because they are not used to working hard. They are used to coasting and doing maybe an hours worth of work then pissing the rest of the day away looking at facebook or some other equally as brainless activity. When this type of person is asked to do multiple things, they say it isn't their job to do multiple things just one thing. The reason is because idiot unskilled worker is used to doing a single task and only that single task in a large company for a lot of money sometimes. In smaller companies it is the exact opposite, you work harder and do more but get paid way less sometimes. The good news is you can take your skills with you. You look better on paper than the idiot unskilled worker who probably lies about his qualifications through and through.

I have met stupid people who have certifications, I have no certs, but I know more than them. Certs mean shit. Just like people with an MBA, anyone can get one, it doesn't mean you know much of anything about business. Business is bullshit, doesn't mean you are a qualified leader.

This type of person would not suffer so much if they tried harder, but unfortunately they want to coast. I hate this type of person. No willingness to learn or do better and they demand to be paid well on top of that. It's disgusting.

Reocurring Thoughts

I often think about a lot of the same things repeatedly. Even as a kid I would worry about stuff I had no control over. I think that is what helped me become a critical thinker. I always knew I learned, discovered or came to a complete understanding of something when I had that one moment of clarity when my eyes would grow wide and a feeling of euphoria swept over me. Or my brain would hurt, not in a bad way, but in a "I need time to process this" kind of way.

I have adopted a subconscious level of timing and problem solving which is what I think makes me a superior person at times. Not that I am flawless, but it makes me unique. I literally solve problems in my sleep. When I am overly concerned with something or anxious I can't sleep, I sometimes become depressed. I remember once as a kid I stayed awake for 2 days straight just worrying about what was going to happen in the future. What am I going to grow up as? Who am I going to be? Will I be happy?

I constantly think about death. I worry about my mother or my wife dying well before their time. If my wife dies I would probably seriously contemplate suicide. She keeps my feet on the ground and I swear if it wasn't for her I would be dead already. I love her more than I love myself. I live because I want to make her happy and I hope to grow old with her until I die first.

I worry about my own death, but that is why I own a life insurance policy. I am specifically concerned about getting cancer, which I have a wonderfully high risk of getting because my father's genes suck. I am not really worried about much of anything else with respect to dying except that I will one day die. When I die where will my consciousness go? I have the feeling that I will come back. I try very hard not to think about this stuff so I tend to occupy my mind with work and other in the moment things.

I am very numb and depressed right now because my memories have been attacking me again. I have these really bad memories that I can't get rid of because they are attached to other things that make me remember them.

Every time I see a specific Chipotle I have a bad memory attack me where I went to said Chipotle and was trying to make two orders after a very long work day. The skinny punk ass douche kid behind the counter was fucking up my order so I did the unmentionable and put my hand over the glass and pointed at the things I wanted. He then embarassed me, my own partial fault, by saying loudly "You are not allowed to put your hands over the glass!" I scowled at him, but said nothing because I was very hungry and tired.

Every time I see a specific Ale House table, I am reminded of the time that I over reacted to something very loudly on purpose and basically caused a big stupid scene which was embarassing for me and for the people I was with.

Those are the two memories that keep attacking me. No matter how I rationalize it, I can't stop the memories from being bad ones or having them depress me. It is like having a mean bully taunt you, but you can't do anything to stop them except wait it out like a migrane. I wince and even kind of cough every time the memory strikes. All I have to do is see something like beer and it makes me think of an Ale House table and what happened there. If I think of food, like a bell pepper, I think of burritos, then Chipotle and that asshole kid yelling at me.

Sometimes nothing bothers me and I am fine. However when I am like this, I lose all motivation and I am just depressed. Then I can't sleep and I have no one to talk to, which is why I blog. I blog my thoughts so they can get out and I don't have to keep them in or tell them to someone who will judge me. I do this for me, not for anyone else.

Times like this I can't help but think about dying... its not rational, but the fact remains I think about killing myself because being depressed for extended periods of time for stupid reasons is sometimes unbearable. Then it passes and I feel okay again. I just wish I was rich so shit like this wouldn't matter and I could speak to a shrink. I don't really believe in shrinks, I think they are not very qualified in determining what is wrong with someone when they themselves are very flawed too. People become shrinks because they are tring to figure out their own shit or they are crazy. What real sense does it make to go to an unstable person and unload my problems on them? I am unfortunately at a point where I think I need to speak to one though because my depressive stages are becoming more and more depressive...

I just want my every day problems to just go the fuck away and those problems are all solved with money. That is why I stress for money all of the time. Every problem is solved or made better with money. You can't buy certain things with it out right, but it sure fucking helps.

Dunkin Donuts

I love Dunkin Donuts. I hate Krispy Cream. I love DD because their doughnuts are less greasy to me. I only eat old fashion doughnuts because I can't deal with the sugar on the other types of doughnuts, they make me feel queezy. My favourite coffee is their Cafe con Leche or Latte. Their regular coffee is damn good too.

They have this DD Rewards program and I signed up right away. I thought I could get a DD rewards card to put on my key ring, but it doesn't work like that. At first I was pissed off about that, then after thinking about it off and on I realized this was inconvenient, but brilliant at the same time.

The company is actually saving themselves losses by making you purchase a rechargeable DD card. The offer is you save 10% with the card, the catch is you need a card that will hold 2-100 dollars. This is a good move on their part because the 10% only applies with a prepaid card. This prevents customers from sharing their discount with others. So not only did you just give them 2-100 dollars in advance, you will only use your discount for you, there is an exclusivity with it. Other people will buy in too.

Next month I will be getting said card because it makes financial sense. I will put like $50 on it because when I go I usually spend anywhere between 12 to 40 dollars. I buy a box of joe, 2 dozen doughnuts, 1 Cafe con Leche and a breakfast sandwich of sorts. I do this for my job place because it is necessary at times, coffee run for late night coding etc...

Yes I just wrote a post about DD, no I don't work for them or get a commission, I just love DD. It's not even an American company which is amusing because I usually try to go American all the way.

I hate Starbucks, their coffee tastes like burnt shit usually. I will have a Latte there when I am desperate.

Knowledge Transfer

Companies should learn that an employee's experiences aren't something that can just be given to someone else on a platter or in paper form. I just spent over an hour trying to explain the complexities of just one aspect of my job to two other people. I think they just absorbed a 1/4 of what I just showed them. This is not their fault, it is just difficuilt to understand what someone has done over 3 years into an hour or so.

I think this is comical and will ultimately hurt them because the one person who was tasked with so much has just left and a knowledge gap remains in his stead. This is the doing of poor management and decision making.

All that aside, I have extended an olive branch to help explain difficuilt problems to them after I am gone. Like I keep telling some of my co workers, my leaving is necessary in order for there to be any change.

Interviews: Liars Welcome

I have been lucky that most interviews I have been to haven't been that bad. I have usually breezed through all of them and I am usually offered the job after the first interview. However I am still bad at interviews because I hate the interview process and I am a very honest person. I like telling the truth or exactly how I feel because I don't see the point in lying, but when it comes to being interviewed, lying is a 100% must.

I dislike interviews, specifically from the interviewee's stand point, for the simple fact it is basically the only place where people want you to lie to them. I have a lot of trouble answering the hot seat questions because it involves deflection and tip toeing around questions. For fuck's sake asking me something stupid like "Why should I hire you?" Is so goddamn vague and open ended that it can cause you to hang yourself easily. Especially if you are caught off guard. That is like me going to a merchant, telling them I want to buy a product, then the merchant says, "Why should I sell this to you?" What the fuck do you mean why? Cause I have the money that's why you fucking moron. Why are you wasting my time? Then the merchant doesn't sell me the product I want. That is what interviews feel like. I have never had a bad outcome, but I still feel as if that is what is happening.

Here are a list of commonly asked vague hot seat interview questions. You probably would never be asked all of these, but you may be asked one or none of them.

The format below is: question, truthful answer and the right answer.

Q1	Why are you leaving your current position?
T	I am leaving my current position because I hate where I work, my co workers are all assholes, my boss is a douch bag and they insult me by giving me 0-1% raises instead of what I rightfully deserve. People who are far less knowledgeable than me are being promoted and my boss favors certain employees. He won't let me change the system I am working on in order to being it up to this centuries standards and he won't listen to me when there is a real problem that needs addressing. Then when the problem occurs he blames me for not telling him about it earlier or being more proactive.
R	I am leaving my current position because the program I am working on is going to be replaced by another system.
Q2	Why do you want this job?
T	I want this job because I need the money, why the hell are you asking? Isn't it obvious enough that you shouldn't feel it necessary to ask? Were you not listening to me when you asked me that first stupid ass question? Aside from wanting the money itself, I would like a raise since the last job was paying me shit. I need to pay my bills and I need a new car.
R	I want this job because I think it will present new challenges to my career and I am very interested in learning more about [job subject matter here].
Q3	What are your strengths and weaknesses?
T	My strengths are that I am awesome and I know my shit. I don't have any fucking weaknesses, I am perfect.
R	Some of my strengths are that I am a very hard worker and I have a very good understanding of [job subject matter here]. Some of my weaknesses are that I sometimes don't verbalize some of my problems or difficulties that I have encountered properly when I need to describe them to others.

So a few words of advice: Never tell the truth at an interview. Lie your whole way through the goddamn thing, it is expected of you. Until the interview process will begin to mean something more than an interviewer fishing for bullshit responses instead of the actual truth, I will continue to lie. The difference is I am actually good at my job as opposed to a lot of other bullshitters who are just bullshit artists and don't have a clue. For example, just because you have a certification doesn't mean you are any good at what you are supposedly certified to do. Of course keep in mind if you are lying, I mean tell them what they want to hear, don't lie about things you really can't prove or do.

The Christmas Spirit

If you buy into Christmas then you should ask yourself one question: Why?

I am a stickler about this because I want people to realize what they are doing when celebrating this holiday.

1. Can you afford the holiday? If you can't afford to celebrate the damn holiday, then don't. Being in debt because your spoiled and bratty children demand stuff isn't a good reason. If you are bad with money, then find someone who isn't to make a budget for you. Stick to the damn budget. If you have a budget of 0 or negative dollars, then just suck it up, you shouldn't make it worse by adding to that negative amount with a credit card.

2. Celebrate the holiday because you want to, not because you are obligated to. Not everyone needs something from you and don't feel obligated to give anything in return.

3. Secret santa games are stupid. If you have a limit of x dollars, then that means everyone should just give each other x dollars. No loss and nothing changed. Therefore the whole transaction is pointless. If you get each other actual items, the calibur of those items will be judged. IE: "I got a better present than this for that person, this sucks"

4. Admit that this holiday season is occupied by more than one holiday. Don't be a jerk, respect others. Say "Happy Holidays" don't force christmas on people. It's not nice or fair.

5. Be conscience that the Christmas holiday is simply about consumersim. The notion of "this is the season of giving" simply tries to hide the fact that someone bought something for someone else. If someone is giving something to someone, there is someone receiving it. End of story. This holiday is selfish for two reasons, the people giving something to someone feel good about it and the people receiving feel good about getting something usually.

6. Hannuka is a boring holiday and not comparable to christmas. You are NOT supposed to receive any gifts, especially not eight days of them. You get shitty tasting gelt chocolate coins and a piece of shit draddel which encourages gambling. The holiday is about lighting candles/oil floating wick, which is due to the story of having enough oil for 8 nights when really there was only enough for one night or something. Anyone who wants to alter the holiday, such as a hannuka bush is not being a good jew. Either you do it right or you don't do it at all.

That being said, happy non denominational holiday. Don't get yourself into debt and please no drunk driving.

Shit and the Fan

I love the fact that I can see the shit storm brewing here at my soon to be ex-job. I think that it won't take long for this place to implode upon itself due to a lack of foresight, logic and poor management. I can already feel the rumbling occur, but I know I won't be here to experience the collapse, but I will certainly hear about it.

I truely believe that after I leave that there will be a resounding, "Oh shit" when people realize that they can't just walk up to my desk and ask for help. I am walking away with very in depth knowledge that I built myself, all on my own. The functionality of our remoting servers, web services, estoppel certificates, Accouts Payable process, invoicing, check approvals, check printing, tfs managment, build process and more... it is all me and I am walking away. Who is going to do any of it when I am gone? Sure they will recoup, but how quickly?

I may sound arrogant, but it is the truth. My soon to be ex boss is a fucking moron.

Being Multifaceted

I think it is important for people to be multifaceted. I know this is much easier said than done, so I apologize, I hate that too. Here is the issue I have been racking my brain over for a long time. Job quality for different Americans across the US. Americans are different, we all stand under the American title, but in reality there is really just a few working/wealth classes that Americans can be put into in my opinion. I won't bother listing any because there are too many ways to form the classes, but I truely think people understand that, even if they don't want to admit it.

So people who live in rural areas or country bumpkins tend to work on farms, are factory workers or are miners. Jobs along those lines where honestly there is no telling what could happen to their jobs in the future. The mine could collapse or shut down. The farm could go out of business. The factory could replace people with robots or shut down as well. All the reasons aside, no more job.

I don't want to belittle the job, almost all jobs are damn difficuilt and tiring. However in terms of skill and who can do who's job, these people are always at a disadvantage, because where do they go next? They usually just complain that they can't find a job (jerb) because it got taken away in some shape or form. These people are not very skilled if all they can do is just one thing.

I am quite multifaceted, I can do anything. I can do their jobs probably, but the same is not true for them. They cannot do my job because it takes years of experience and learning to do my job. So I can pretty much go anywhere or do anything and pick up a new skill in order to get by. Hopefully I will never have the same problem as the people I described above, but I can't tell the future... India seems to be taking more and more of our programming jerbs.

My point is here, not to be condescending but to put yourself in a tactical advantage where if you lose your job and you can't find work, you should be able to open up yourself to new things and learn a new trade. That programming job might not be there later or that factory might shut down. Having an education is quite important too.

Tears

I am moved by how many people are saddened by my leaving this company. The CIO told me that I can come back if anything changes in the future for me which would be the third time I would be coming back. The office manager keeps crying everytime she sees me and everyone else doesn't know what to say. I am sad too. However I need more money and I want to make an impact on my life by improving it financially. Maybe I will be less stressed out?

I want to point out that I am not a bad person. I may have gouhlish evil thoughts at times (that I maintain), but when dealing with me you will come to understand that what you see is what you get. That is why I love the (limited) freedom of this blog, it let's me say what I am thinking without hesitation.

If only people were all as honest as me.

Bulletin! Bulletin! Bulletin!

Life would be too easy without certain twists. I mean why would it be okay for me to transition to a new job without difficuilty? Is it really too much to ask for? Anyhow, the deal is that I have just entered a delicate situation. An ultimatum was put on the table for my friend who got me the job.

They told him, "You have to perform perfectly these next three months or we are going to ship your jobs off to India..." there is a lot of detail I am leaving out, but that is the gist of it.

He told me this and my jaw dropped. Not his fault, but they told him this the same day I put in my resignation... worst fucking timing ever. To top it off I am only getting the 65K and not the 70K that I did want. So I got a 20% raise as opposed to a 25% raise. No big deal, apparently if I bust my ass and show them I am worth it I can get my 70K after three months.

I knew this job would be volatile because it is a fing hedge fund, but crap... so now I am facing a strange scenario where this job could disappear soon and I will find myself laid off once again. I will tough through it though because my skill is superior. I hate to sound so arrogant, but it is the truth, I am damn good at what I do. I will pull this application together, those red dotted cheap ass bastards will not steal my jerb.

I have developed a slight hatred towards indian programmers. Whether they are here or over shores. I am going to describe the stereotype that I dislike, because just like any other stereotype this does not apply to all hindis: I hate their work ethic, their programming style is sloppy at best and overly complicated for no reason. They have shitty attitudes and they are mostly rude. They think that they know it all and that their shit don't stink. So when I am told my jerb might be shipped off to one of these offshore cheap ass shops, it makes me angry. Fuck them.

For once I can say, "They are trying to take my jerb!"

This shit sucks, but I will make the best of it while I can.

T-Mobile Prepaid Network Outage for all of Florida

T-Mobile's prepaid network went down around 16:00. There was an outage for all of Florida. This is strike one for you guys. Three strikes and I will just go pay for cheaper service with boost. I can just sell my phone if I want to. Fuck T-Mobile, they have been getting under my skin lately ever since I went prepaid. They fucked up my mother's plan pretty good, so now I think they are going to lose two customers soon.

Money Found

I am pretty sure I got the job. The job location I am not thrilled about, but you know what for the extra major bump in pay, fuck it. I am more than happy to give it a shot. I will be working at a hedge fund, developing their software. I am quite content with the benefits, although it excludes a 401K all together which is sad. No worries though, I can invest my money better than the damn 401K anyhow.

I will finally get what I am worth which is anywhere between 65 and 70K which I am more than happy about. That helps me aleviate my money problems period. Remember when I said I would stop complaining about money, well this is me stopping (as soon as I get the job).

First plan of attack, get new gaming rig :-D second thing to attack outright are my student loans. I will start to pay them down vigorously and I think I will be paying off a huge chunk of a loan after I sell my old car and lease a new one. I need to rebalance my joint budget so that my wife can relax some of the bills she has, I want to do that for her. My conquest for getting my life in order is on its way.

Unfortunately it is time to move :'( yet again. These three years flew by and the people I work with are great. The place isn't, this is very bitter sweet. Fuck it.

New Jobs

I always start to doubt myself when I find a new job or a new job finds me. I become slightly depressed because I will definitely miss the people I work with, but not the people I work for. My boss is a dick head who operates on frat boy principles. He also won't hire women, so I think he is sexist. He has had the opportunity to hire 4 women, he has found some sort of ridiculous excuse each time to not hire them. Or he uses the excuse of the boys club and avoiding problems such as sexual harassment etc...

Anyhow I am feeling slightly guilty about leaving, but at the same time I think that if they really valued me they would give me what they owe me. I feel disrespected for the most part. The only thing that sucks about this new job is the drive. I will survive though, not too worried about it. I need the money.

Investments

So I bought a treasury bill, unfortunately the fucking bill was bought at 0% interest, which I didn't think was even possible. So now the US treasury has 100 of my dollars and they are going to give it back to me in 4 weeks. Fucking awesome.

As far as lending club goes, you can be a lender unless you make 70K or have 250K in assets. Fucking ridiculous in my opinion. If someone has money to lend, why not fucking take it?

Anyhow that shouldn't be too much of a problem soon enough.

Movement

I got more details about my potentially new job and I am quite thrilled at what is offered. I already have 50% of the vote, I just need to gain the other 50% and I am in like sin. I keep thinking about if this is a good idea, but I am convinced it is because of the great pay, the great sound of the work environment, the fact that things are done correctly and the person I would be working with would be someone I know and trust.

The arguments for leaving are too good, the arguments for staying are less than substantial. The only thing that is vaguely offered is that changes are coming... they neglect to say at the same pay... The offered benefits are horrendous and the work environment is terrible for what I am being paid.

I am the lynch pin at my current work place and you know what, it feels good to know that when I leave that they are going to hurt bad. They are going to bleed. I am glad because they need to learn their fucking lesson finally. They need to realize not offering growth, not listening to warnings from their professionals and under funding an operation while demanding perfect results is ludacris and they need to grow the fuck up. Right now they sound like a bunch of whiney assholes,  "We want you to work for shit pay, have shit resources and give us back golden results."

Finally I have movement, something is happening a decision is being made. I am getting what I have been working so hard to earn. I am not looking back this time no matter what.

Miami Bitches

I can't stand to see the usual standard issue Miami ho. Don't get me wrong, some of them are fine looking, but they usually look like transvestites. I was at a resturant on Collins Avenue in Sunny Isles and there was this blond, big breasted bimbo in a red dress with some skeezy guy. She had clumps and mountains of makeup and mascera on. Her tits were fake and I am sure this barbie doll also had face work done. Fucking pathetic. I don't understand how that is arrousing to some men. There is nothing better than real natural bueaty. Some women need makeup, but jesus christ not a mask of it. I see that shit a lot in Aventura, Brickel and any other rich areas. It's even worse with older women who used to be trophy wives, but were dumped for the newer model.

I don't consider myself one of those people because I am not loaded like they are (or pretend to be) and even if I was well off, I don't think I am stupid enough to be like them. And by stpid I really mean unintelligent, most of these lame assholes aren't intellectual enough to hold a conversation with. They can only talk about money or their possetions to try to impress people. Their daily activities include spending money on the finer things in life which they consider normal. Or going on expensive trips because they are so stressed out.

Something I can't stand about these areas is the amount of rich douche bags from other countries that come here to pollute our living areas with their slimy mentallites. There is a butt load of stuck up latins, but the ones I hate the most are Israelies, the runner up to them are the snot nosed punk ass rich hindi assholes. Or any over priviledged middle eastern punk. I fucking hate those people.

I have seen those punk ass middle eastern rich boys literally throw money at people to get their way and to be incredibly rude or lude. Israelies are a special kind of douche bag though, not only are they rude when they talk, they are always tring to sell you something. You can pretty much assume that whatever they are trying to sell you is over priced or just low quality. If they don't get their way they get rude, epecially if you question them. I have had enough experiences with these fuckers to know. They are also big play boys, they cheat on their women constantly from what I have seen and they don't care. These mother fuckers would sell their own mothers if they could.

Israeli women are usually hot, but the attitude can be a huge turn off, not to mention if they have a big dumb jock israeli brother trying to assert dominance.

So yeah... these people suck. Obviously not all of them do, but like in any culture, race or ethnicity there will be the rich over priviledge douche bags. The ones Imve mentioned above just happen to pollute NMB, Aventura and Sunny Isles.

A Storm is Brewing

There is a storm brewing for my soon to be ex-company. I can't wait to see what is going to happen after I leave. Just like my last work place, when I left so did 4 other people when they saw they were getting royally fucked. This place has been good to me, but they have fucked me on salary and benefits.

I have opted out of every benefit offered except the shitty health care and the shitty 401K. The rest of what they offer sucks major dick. In fact I don't recommend that anyone ever get the company life insurance. First off it is bad coverage usually, second if you quit, get laid off or switch jobs you will lose your coverage/policy.

When it comes to getting life insurance, STD and LTD you are better off getting these policies on your own away from the company you work for so it is portable. It makes absolutley no sense to pay the lower group rate which increases with age. You are better off getting a policy you can lock in when you are younger. I recommend MetLife,  but do your research.

The 401K offered by my job is terrible. They will match me 40% up to 4% of my (low) salary. Whoopdy doo... so I contribute 1% just because. Getting a well deserved bonus or raise is the same as pulling teeth or the risk of losing your job. So again, fuck this place.

Walgreens Pharmacy

I will never understand why the fuck it takes so long for a perscription to be filled. Hi, here is my perscription, please go to your table, get an orange bottle and put pills in it please. Thaaaaaaank youuuuu.

Instead I am told to wait 15 minutes, which really means wait 1 hour for someone to hand me an orange pill bottle. WTF are they doing back there? I've been here when it is 100% dead and it still takes forever, which is why most of the time I do a drop then pickup in the morning. So really WTF?

Update:
The only good thing from this experience was the fact that a 90 day perscription only cost me about 11 dollars with my shitty HMO. I hate my HMO, never again will I do HMO.

The Mega Bitch Slap in Numbers

So not only am I maybe quitting, I can pretty much count on about 4 or more people quitting. The people quitting are all key in their teams. So that is a total of 5 people including myself in that count. This place is a joke. They can't keep new hires because they are so fucking disorganized.

I am going to excercise my right to make more money else where. These fucking morons will hire someone new at a higher salary than keep the talent they have and give them raises. Fuck this place. I might stay if they counter me, but only if I get what I want exactly.

This place isn't a big work shop, so five people quitting equates to to a loss in 25% of overall work force. Then looking at the individual teams, my team has a 50% loss. Another team has 100% loss. And the last team has about 30% loss.

I work too hard and I get very little back. So again unless this place shows me any type of appreciation, I am out.

Itchy Palms and Itchy Thoughts

So I have been thinking non stop about car accidents lately and finally I know why... one of my co workers got into a car accident last night. Very unfortunate. What is more unfortunate is the fact that he smelled like alcohol when he came into work :-(. To make matters even worse when he was telling us his story about his car accident he kept saying he wasn't drunk but did toss back a few. When we took a look at his car it was very obvious that he hit a tree, yet he claims he hit someone with his car and they sped off...

Anyhow, I got a call back about the job I really wanted. Turns out that the guy they hired is not obedient and runs against the grain of operations. This is good for me because they will be firing his ass soon. I have first pick :-D. The job starts around 65-70K which is exactly what I want.

Reading

I am implementing a new policy into my life. I will not keep the TV on when I go to bed. I will make sure that the TV is very off instead and I will focus on my plans and I will let my mind wander. I will also put my nose into a book and force myself to read things that I hope to find interesting. The irony in my life is I love to write, but I find it very difficuilt to read anything usually. Unless it is raw data or information that doesn't have a artistic coating all over it, I usually refuse to read.

I noticed that the TV is just a huge fucking distraction in my life. It keeps me hypnotized and I can't seem to concentrate because it is so much fun to just watch and not think. In efforts to get things done when I get home I will not turn the TV on when I go to sleep during the week any longer. The choices are browsing the web for info, reading a book, a magazine, programming, drawing or designing things. I need to engage in activity, not the other way around.

This will help me shape my brain more. I also picked up piano again, I say again which was when I was like 8. I love piano, I love playing it even if I can't read sheet music yet. I can play the a few songs now from memory and just listening to my yamaha keyboard play it for me. I need to learn how to read sheet music.

Music is basically just a linked list of notes. When you play the bass side too it is two linked lists that are processed simultaneously. That is the hard part I think. I will continue untill I can play music on my own. I think it is relaxing.

Leasing Cars

I just discovered leasing as an option for getting a car as opposed to buying a car. I am not saying that it works for everyone but I am saying I think it makes more sense all around and here is why:

1. I don't care if I don't own my car

2. I don't drive too much, under 12K a year in driving

3. I don't think cars are worth buying because they depreciate in value and by the time you pay it off it is old and possibly has issues.

4. Having a newer car all of the time means you will have less problems down the road in general.

5. If anything major happens to the car it isn't my problem, it is the dealer's problem.

6. Best reason: it is always cheaper than buying

Here is a real case scenario:

I bought a 2007 Toyota Yaris for 15K base model, power nothing... I still have the car. It is now about 4 years old. 29/34 MPG for automatic transmission.

My wife and I just leased a 2012 Hundai Veroster for 275/Mo, 4 Years for 12K Miles/Year. The car is fully loaded, more gadgets than I car to name and it has a sun roof. 32/40 MPG for automatic transmission. That works out to 275*12*4 = 13,200 over 4 years.

My wife got a better car for less money than me and it is mostly worry free.

The only downside is if we choose to lease forever then that means renting a car forever. In my opinion, if you have the money then do it. Fuck owning a car that will just end up having a fucked up part at one point that will cost over a grand to fix. Plus you switch out your car every 2-4 years. Good deal in my opinion.

Overall I'd say this was a good deal.

Orginization

I am working on organizing myself. I am going to use my phone more for organization now in order to get my life in order. There is a laundry list of things I have to do as usual, but this time, this new year, I am going to go kamikaze and get shit done.

I am going to build myself a project plan and probably get a white board for myself to use. I really need to become my own boss and employee. Its time to stop dilly dallying lost dazed and confused every weekend and just get shit done. I need to be more task oriented.

Up to this point I haven't been very productive due to my lack of orginization, lack of motivation and depression. I think I am passed that now ever since I started taking synthroid, I don't feel depressed for absolutely no reason anymore. I feel better.

Money

I am at a fork in the road right now. I need to make a decision come January because that is when reviews are at my job place. I am going to basically try to demand a pay increase and get some autonomy. If he gives me the cold shoulder then I am out. I need to find another job. Which for some reason I don't think will be that difficuilt to do.

I think I might start investigating other states and see if moving to a new place makes more sense. I have nothing here that I would really miss to be honest. I want to practice engineering, but I don't think that will ever come into fruition if I stay here waiting for it. I hate Florida. I specifically hate rude people, such as Cuban Americans and other types of over priviledged latins. I digress...

Time for me to figure out if making more money is what I should be aiming for. I can't just stay at this job place because I like the people. I got bills goddamn it. What I think is the most gratifying is I have started a movement in a sense and I have like 2 other people at the office thinking the same as me. What is most impressive is that we are all heavy hitters. If we leave it is going to hurt the company a lot. I have a lot of unwritten knowledge and I maintain a lot of the modules that no one even wants to look at.

Woops

I feel like life is running away from me right now. I am pouring a lot of my time and effort into what feels like a dead end job. I keep reminding myself that I need to break away from the rat race, but it is tough to do that because it requires time and organization. I need to get really serious about making my ideas happen and soon. I can't keep delaying them and pushing them off. It isn't acceptable.

First I need to come up with a finite number of projects and just attack them. They need to be divided up into tasks and I need to stick to my own deliverables. After completing some of my ideas if I have any goddamn success with even one idea I will be able to build a legitamate business out of it and become a free lance contractor. I can charge a premium for my services.

I am considering moving over to a data specialization. I like working on data, so that is what I want to do. I also have some leads to very niche markets. I need to break off one of my current projects with a friend of mine, he is going to be pissed off, but I don't much care. The reality is he needs me way more than I need him. What pisses me off the most is he only wanted to split the proceeds 40/60, where I get 40, but I was doing all of the work. Fuck that shit.