Humbleness

I don't understand people who think they have tried every concievable combination to a solution. First off depending on the complexity of the issue, people are generally wrong about this. You cannot try every combination or rather you did not try every combination when you flail your arms and say "I tried everything."

I had someone buzz in my ear that he tried everything about a rather complex problem. I then found several things this person missed all together.

Death

I have seen a lot of tragedy and I have seen a lot of people suffer through the loss of a loved one. I have been in and out of hospitals many times for other people and their hardships, whether it is sickness or death. This is why I can say I hate hospitals and the know nothing doctors in them. I call them "know nothings" because when you ask them a very important medical question they say "I don't know." They just show up to get paid. Every time they look at a patient's chart they get paid. Bastards.

My Office

I fixed my work space in my office so I could tinker with stuff again. I pulled a transformer out of an old power supply so I could see if it still worked... I learned a very special lesson, when working with AC powered anything, be very careful and work with a resettable fuse that has about 5A or less (application specific). So the transformer had a hard fault on it and made my breaker in my room pop. No big deal, so I clipped the wires on the transformer and now it is a paper weight.

I inspected a radio of mine; turns out the speaker went bad. I need a round 40 ohm 3 watt replacement speaker. I need to move on to my projects and get in to this stuff. All it took to make my room a little more inhabitable was to have a TV to keep me company in it. Much happier now.

Uncle

My Uncle died today. Off to the hospital now to watch people cry. I hate hospitals; I feel that I have been to the hospital too many times for too many tragedies.

The ironic part is they are all self inflicted. My uncle was not taking care of himself and died of a heart attack. Surprise surprise. Condolences to the family, but they saw it coming, they just didn't know when it would happen.

Their story is the same as mine. My father was an overweight, diabetic, high cholesterol, hyper tension asshole. He was always in a bad mood, hated his life and pretty much gave up on living. He had a heart attack, and then a year later he had a stroke that killed him. Two weeks earlier he disowned me because I didn't believe in god. Good guy... anyhow, glad he is dead. Living with him was living with a tyrannical dictator.

My uncle's story was he lived past his professional usefulness so he couldn't find a damn job. He was unemployed 75% of the time. His wife is a fucking lunatic, who somehow is a psychologist and doesn't have a job either? The kids are taking the brunt of their crap and now are left with no income, a bat shit crazy mother and two mortgages.

Life is good.

Happy fucking holidays.

Wow

So i drew for the first time in over a year. It was just as enjoyable as I remember it being. I don't know why I stopped really. It has a lot to do with the general mood I am in. I sometimes would have no motivation to do so.

It got me thinking, I have some ideas I think are very good and I want to try them out for t-shirts, but i don't know how to do it.

Overwhelmed

There are not enough hours in the day. The irony though is if each day was 48 hours I am pretty sure I still wouldn't have enough time to do everything I wanted to do.

I am busting my ass on weekends with random things here and there... I just wish I could stop time for a bit. I want the time to relax and do side work and research. I won't be very happy until then.

Sick^2

I have allergies that flare up and prevent me from breathing on a regular basis. When I get sick, it is double duty damage. I already can't breathe, then with the cold or whatever sickness I can breathe even less. Not to mention when I start to choke on sputum or phlegm, I can't breathe through my nostrils, so I am semi suffocating. It is very unpleasant and somewhat scary. To top it all off, my hearing is no good right now due to sickness.

This is a very good example of how stupid the human body is. Allergies being the starting point and being sick the secondary point.

Session State

All I have to say about this is I am intrigued. We are experimenting by putting the session state into sql server, so far it is painless and interesting. I checked out the session tables and I have no idea what it is doing. I want to learn more about this.

Judas

I got sick last week sometime around 12/6/10 or so. I have not been very well since then. At work we are migrating from mySQL to SQL Server thankfully. Just for the record, I don't think mySQL is horrible, but SQL Server is better if you have a larger application that has a lot of data and requires reporting. Easy to work with and it is part of the MS family of products so integration is simple. We are also converting a lot of our shitty hard coded reports to SSRS.

Anyhow we are testing the application and we involved some of our users. They so far are surprised that there are bugs, I don't understand why and my boss is also surprised... because he is a no nothing idiot. If he ever developed a goddamn thing in his life he would know that when you convert an application's backend from on flavor of SQL to another, you will have issues. It is irresponsible to think otherwise. So the users complained to their boss instead and my boss is behind them 100%.

He is a fucking Judas mother fucker.

Unfortunately, my lead developer doesn't have balls and takes shit from my boss when he shouldn't. My boss is ruining us.

Wording

I hate it when someone can criticize someone else's wording, but they can't seem to help either. I work too fucking hard with some of these asshole clients directly on consistent issues. I am the come to guy for some of these problems. I am pissed off that I can be criticized for telling them the truth in a certain phrasing.

I simply said:

I need everyone to be happy with a common solution.

I was told that sentence is too harsh. Admittedly I should have said we, but since I am the person always dealing with this shit I said "I".

Other than that, I don't see the fucking problem. Stop being overly sensitive.

Fix the Obvious!

One inherent flaw of larger companies is the misguided concept that you have to make due with what you have. I disagree terribly. This is company executives being a bunch a bunch of punk ass pricks. They can always find it in their hearts to give each other raises, but they can't seem to listen to the small guys that drive their fucking business to make shit work.

I am tired of fighting with my stupid ass no nothing, out of date, manager. The guy is a bullshit artist and he is slimy too. It is very upsetting and unsettling to work under him. I have no trust for this jack hole. We have some major programmatic issues that need to be solved, yet he doesn't listen and he doesn't prioritize.

We own the companies we make the software for, but he wants us to treat them as customers. I would treat them as customers if they didn't behave like children and I didn't have to work directly with the user on issues. We don't have a call center, the two mooks we refer to as support are totally useless and know shit about our technologies.

I am tired of this working situation where the idiots drive the way we do things. Then they take the credit they didn't earn when things go well and they deal out blame for when things go wrong. Plain and simple this is backwards, just like in government...

I hate people... greedy at heart, like a cancer.

Priorities

One ounce of good news, my blower motor works again? I don't know how to be perfectly honest. I am confused.

I need to re prioritize what is going on in my life currently. As always money is issue number one. I need to put heavy emphasis on my diet and exercises most of all. I need to find time to relax and find time to work too. This is going to be tough.

Things are not going well with the house hunt. One word down payment. I hate this stupid ass process for down payments and closing costs. Shit is crazy right now. Foreclosures and short sales fuck us over because they hardly negotiate and the closing costs and home inspections are out of pocket expenses.

Fuck this shit.

My Trivial Complaint of the Day

Why the fuck is it that in certain bathroom stalls there is a fucking piece of shit toilet paper dispenser that has an empty cardboard tube on it, then directly above it there is a metal cage hiding the other roll of paper that is impossible to get out and use. What the fuck.

I want us to have the goddamn three sea shells already!

Cluster Fuck

I have too much going on at the same time and too much demand for my time simultaneously. It is annoying and stressful, I wish I could get off of this roller coaster of work and tasks. The thing I wish would stop happening the most is the unexpected bills.

I am tired of having to pay for things I didn't want to pay for. My latest unexpected bill waiting to happen is the AC Blower Motor in my car ceased to function. I can't seem to figure it out and it is very upsetting. I didn't do anything for this to happen. So I am livid about it and I have a bad feeling it is going to cost me an arm and a leg to repair. I expect to pay at most 400 dollars.

I (this is my own fault) bought Iron Maiden tickets months in advance on purpose so I could get good seats and a good price. I paid close to 200 dollars for two people including parking costs. We have box seats.

I am anticipating that I need to pay for part of a plane ticket for someone at one point. Again not happy about this. It will be at most 400 dollars.

I am hoping that my fiance will get a raise at one point and be the person bringing in a fantastic amount of money. Not that my financial woes will be over but at least I have a much larger cushion.

I am going to be over worked these next few weeks... it will not be pleasant.

Hardware

So I was asked again to work on a piece of hardware for someone and as much as I want to it would be rather difficult to do, however this person is right, I should try to work on this item because it is a great idea, but I am afraid to do so because electronics make me uneasy.

Ironic huh, I am a EE and CE and I am afraid of working with electronics because honestly I am not always 100% sure of what I am doing and that makes me very uncomfortable. I wish I had more confidence in the area. Especially since it could be potentially expensive to make mistakes or screw up. Specifically with test hardware. I do not wish to damage my test hardware.

I am going to continue to sit down and figure out my problems here. I need to learn and relearn everything I didn't learn through trial and error.

I think I am going to start with a basic fucking radio and see where it takes me. A CLR circuit or an RC circuit, which ever gets me to my goal.

NY and its Realty Can Suck It

First and foremost I want to say up front; I hate Florida before people think this is an all out attack on NY and its dwellers (only the subset that no one likes y'know the obscenely rich). Having been to NY 3 times (not that - that is a lot) here is what I have gathered, it is an over glorified big overpopulated dirty city. It smells and there are too many people running amok. I don't like that, which is a personal preference.

The rich mother fuckers that live in certain burros can kiss my hairy ass when it comes to realty though. I understand that finding a place to live there is difficult and expensive. Well that is all fine and well if you live in NY, I don't live there, so I don't care... until recently. Some asshole from NY bought a house that I was going to buy for sticker price, which is stupid because the fucker over paid grossly. Thanks asshole for making it okay for shit head down here to over price their fucking houses. That shit is not okay here because we get paid less, have to pay for gas and car insurance. The asshole is renting the house too, not even living in it.

I swear when I get rich, I am going to ruin NY's housing by buying out all of the overly priced stupid ass houses and such and rent them out for shit. Fuck you 1,000,000 dollar small piece of shit studio apartments, I will buy that shit up and rent it out for 500/month. I will put Florida pricing in NY.

Suck it NY.

Big dirty city with posers.

Religion != Race

Religion is not a race. I don't want to hear people refer to there race as being "Jewish." I could care less what the dictionary defines race as because it is wrong. The dictionary is wrong because it has fallacy directly in the definition:

Race - noun - A group of persons related by common descent or heredity.

So as you can see Judaism falls under the race definition, but hey guess what! There are two problems here:

1. Race overlap

2. Converting from one race to another race is physically impossible.

1. Race overlap is what I am referring to as when someone is race A physically and then they say they are Jewish, which would be race B. This is not possible. You can only physically be race A or B not both. A XOR B, not A OR B.

2. Converting from race A to race B is physically impossible. You can indeed switch religions, you cannot stop being a race. That is a physical thing, not a made up idea. So when someone can figure out how to convert me from what I am, to Japanese, let me know...

I really don't think you can argue with me here. I am right about this. This falls under the category of "Say what you mean." Don't just imply stuff.

Money

If I had a ridiculous sum of money, i would pay for my mother's family to come to the states. I would help the families without jobs right now. I would buy the island of Haiti and set things straight.

I would get my fiance a brand new car of her choice. I would help people that were down on their luck. I would love to give people who need cars, fixed up used cars to get from point A to point B.

I would try to fix small problems in society and in my immediate surroundings. I would lobby the state government to split Florida in two to balance things out.

I would lobby federal government to split the us in two so we can end the class war fare and all that bs.

I Feel Like Shit

I feel like absolute shit right now, but I don't mean physically, I mean mentally. There are days where I feel good and then then there are days where I feel morbidly depressed and I start to have these damn haunting thoughts all over again. Anything triggers them because my mind automatically associates my unhappy experiences with objects and other thoughts. Most of my unhappy experiences are bouts of embarrassment. The same way I felt while it was happening is the same way I feel when i think about it, so it is like reliving the experience.

The problem I have is that not only do I relive the experience, but all of my thoughts haunt me in a serial nature. One after another they batter me, like a dog pile, like a crowd of mean children singling out a single person and taunting him mercilessly. So i have a big fucking problem, but i am not sure how to fix it. I am mentally unwell and i think i need help.

I am afraid to go to a psychologist because of the expense and the idea that they will give me drugs.

IIS7 Can Suck It

I will admit that IIS7 is very dreamy in comparison to IIS5 and IIS6 because it flows nicely and it has a very nice inheritance system. Best feature of all of course is its application pools. However there are a few things that I am going to point out that some people are going to be annoyed by, but I don't care because for you to have opposition to what I am going to describe is plain stupid and biased.

I like Microsoft products, but we all know, especially power users, that sometimes Microsoft will do things that are just terribly stupid. Joining that ever growing list is:

IIS7

IIS5 and IIS6 were the easiest to setup, I never had any serious problems setting them up or using them. Very easy to use, only encountered the dot net issue where the dot net installation had to be reinstalled. No biggy works like a dream after repairing the dot net side.

First trial:

Installation on Windows Vista. Vista is a flaming piece of crap. That being said IIS7 is a windows feature. Naturally I should be able to install it on a Vista machine if the damn option is available. Logical right? Wrong... it just doesn't work. I got machine.config errors no matter what. I spent 6 hours trying everything to appease the IIS7 beast. No luck so I went back to IIS5.

Second Trial:

I set it up for other people on windows 7 machines, with no problem for the most part. I even use it on windows server 2008. No problems, so I figured it just doesn't work on Vista. Wrong...

Third trial:

I took a fresh install of windows 7 professional on a brand new laptop. I tried using IIS7 and the first thing I get is an error right off the bat. I am told by IIS that I have things in my web.config that are unrecognizable. This didn't sound right because it worked in IIS5 and IIS6, but not in IIS7? So I started looking around and realized it was missing components so I went to add and remove features for IIS and no matter what I did the other features would not install. I kept getting errors. So I uninstalled IIS7 and reinstalled it, this time it installed well, but much to my dismay it still didn't work when I tried to run my web application... this is mind boggling. So I then started doing some deep googling and finally finally finally I found out why I was getting errors (500.21 error specifically) and it was because there was a missing DLL! The isapi.dll was missing from the modules section! HOW? WHY? I don't know but it took 6 hours to figure out and I am very very unhappy about it. This is by far the stupidest thing I have ever seen. What I explained was the short version mind you.

So to those of you that are kissing the IIS7 ass, I'm sorry to break it to you, but it isn't flawless. In fact is very far from it, down right disgusting actually to take 6 hours to figure out why this stupid software isn't working!

Mind you, if someone has Vista, that is what they have therefore don't tell them to just change their OS, that is not fair to that person. Software costs money unless you are going to pirate it which I don't recommend at all. My stance on pirated software is, "If you can afford it, buy it." Other people will say that it works on the Server OS versions (2003, 2008, 2008 R2), this is not true at all if you check google. There are plenty of people regardless of the goddamn OS that are having many issues with IIS7. This is goddamn ridiculous and unfair to the people who need to work. This isn't a fucking hobby for me (partially it is) I do this as my job.

Some people say, just use the integrated development server in Visual Studio... How about no? Casini (the web development server) is crap and unreliable. You use that as a last resort or when you don't have IIS available to use. Casini has a bunch of issues all on its own, it is inaccurate and has problems keeping the most current versions of files you just compiled current. I avoid Casini when I can. Plus you want your software to run in a production like environment at all times to avoid "surprises" when you get to your production environment.

The point here is, IIS7 has some fucking stupid issues, it isn't plug and play at all like IIS5 and IIS6 were. People need to wise up and stop being fan boys when it comes to shit like this and Microsoft needs to take the heat that people give them for this. There is shitty documentation on these ridiculous issues from Microsoft.

When IIS7 is fixed it is going to be great, just like IIS5 and IIS6.

My advice for people who are having issues setting IIS7 up, google the shit out of your problem. Every time you make an adjustment the error message may change, be aware of this. Make sure you have proper permissions set on your files. If all else fails, setup another computer to run XP with IIS5 or IIS6.

Projects

I have: 6 projects going on now at about the same time. They are all collated in the sense that I can't work on any one project all the time because of either boredom, lack of motivation or timing. So this is working out well for me. Most of the time I am not working on any of these things but I am thinking about all of them pretty much all of the time.
I am excited about all of them, but I am also sad because I don't have enough time for all of them.

One of my biggest projects that isn't a part of the other 6 is paying down my loans. I was joking with a friend the other day about the concept of Jew gold. So I came up with the concept of Jew debt. I have a lot of that and I like seeing it decrease.
I plan on paying off my loans in 1000 dollar chunks.

Stereotypical Crackers

So these mother fuckers have been trying to hack my SQL Server, just thought I'd put it out there.

First off I think it is funny that they all seem to be using pretty much the same hacked copy of windows.

Second thing is you can try to RDP into all of their servers except one, if you know the password have fun.

221.10.27.78 - Chengdu in China - Windows Server 2003 Enterprise Edition
221.215.38.171 - Qingdao in China - Windows Server 2003 Enterprise Edition
222.236.44.115 - Seoul in Korea, Republic of - Windows Server 2003 R2 Standard Edition
222.122.26.253 - Seoul in Korea, Republic of - Windows Server 2003 Enterprise Edition
168.187.59.230 - Kuwait in Kuwait - Windows Server 2003 R2 Standard Edition
60.173.26.203 - Hefei in China - Windows Server 2003 Enterprise Edition
61.147.74.185 - Beijing in China - Windows Server 2003 Enterprise Edition
61.147.112.247 - Beijing in China - Does not allow incoming connections

I closed my SQL Server port, it is no longer available... I am still quite annoyed though.

If this doesn't spell out a damn stereotype I don't know what does.

My Paradox

I have a problem that I have been struggling with since I was a child. I realized at a very young age that I could not see my own face unless I looked in a mirror. This was very troubling to me because then I realized that when I spoke to myself "In my head" or thought to myself rather, it was the voice of an adult. Which I soon came to realize was going to be my adult speaking voice. I figured all this out watching "The Wonder Years" with Fred Savage who also thought in a very adult voice.

These problems snow balled into one bigger problem and that is, when I close my eyes and go to sleep does the world stop moving and does everything cease to exist momentarily. Then taking this same concern a step closer, I started to fear death, not because I am afraid of dying but because I don't know what is going to happen to me. This endless thought cycle depresses me because it then leads me to the feeling I struggle with the most and that is demotivating. Everything I do now is to make me happy and comfortable now, but what is the point? So far that is the point, just be as happy and stress free as possible.

However the haunting question remains... what happens when I die? Does the world cease to exist? Do I come back? Do I turn into a wandering soul?

None of those questions can be or will be answered. Ironically I will find out when I die.

Religion gives you false promises and hopes, all unproven crap.

I say come up with your own answer.

My answer is, I don't know how or when, but I will be back. Death cannot stop me.

Rampage

There is this excellent film I saw called "Rampage" where a single individual white male goes on a sociopath killing spree. I do not entirely agree with his methods of achieving his goal, but the main idea of the movie is totally correct. He went on the Rampage because he wanted to thin out the number of people that existed period so they would stop using up resources. However he went after people that he had a grudge against too.

I was very intrigued by the movie because of the main idea aside from the violence. I agree with the main idea, there are too many people alive, we need to stop over populating the earth. How is it that we have animal control but no human population control?

This is not natural. I do not suggest we engage in killing tons of people (maybe people who watch the 700 club and low functioning retards, which are kind of the same thing). However I do think the number of kids people have should be reduced to 2 or less. People who know they will have kids with horrible disorders are not allowed to give birth. If they do they will have their baby killed and they will be neutered.

I want to stop supporting people with more than 3 kids. The third one is normally a mistake. Two kids is too much and someone with 17 kids is fucking disgusting.

Stop supporting areas that cannot sustain life. Do not populate areas that require imported water. Stop building housing. Kill off the jailed inmates that are truly un-savable or have been linked to premeditated murder.

Just Want To Talk

So I get an IM from my boss, "(B)Hi. Want to meet me for breakfast? I just want to talk. (Me) sure, what is it regarding? (B)Oh it is nothing bad, just want to talk."

So if your boss who you are not the biggest fan of tells you he just wants to talk, what would you think?

I am thinking this could be very closely related to the email I sent that asshat that was being a business douche. So I am also thinking maybe some of the things I had said about him openly are reaching his ear. This is not good. Then there could be a business opportunity that I could nab too.

So I am not sure, but this very close to how I got laid off.

Business Douches

I don't like dealing with people who want to willingly be unhelpful or make you look bad in front of other people. These kinds of people really think they are better than everyone else. They don't forge a very good business work ethic between companies. These kinds of people, good or not at heart, strike me as real jerks when I need to deal with them. They are the unneeded stress of work.

I am in trouble

So in order for a middle class or lower person to be successful in life, the non philosophical version, they must obtain wealth, along with a partner or spouse who can be just as successful. I am defining this number to be about 100K per person. So a single family home, 1 or less children bringing in about 200K for the family is very wealthy in my humble opinion.

Everyones' goal should be a secure and comfortable retirement.

The Tech Generation

I am slightly concerned about the next generation of kids/children/teens, not because I think they are all a bunch of tards, but more so because they are more technically inclined in terms of software and other technology.

These kids get smart phones at a young age, they get video games for high end systems with high end graphics, they get the fucking Internet. All of this makes them an A.D.D. prone set of children that are very dependent on technology and good at using it.

These kids are a threat to my future, because although they are good with technology a majority of them are stupid. Then on top of that they may replace me because they are younger and more up to date on technology than I am. For the most part, I think I can stay current but, I have seen what happens to the older work force, they get fucked.

I need to beat this generation to the finish line and command them under my pinkie, not the other way around.

Book Writing

I figure that if a no talent fiction novelist like Laura Ingram or Anne Cunt Coulter can write a book and get paid, then I am sure that a fraction of the quantity of their readers may read something I wrote.

I always have good ideas to put on paper and massage into a good read, so I figure why not give it a chance. Worst thing to happen is I don't get published, no big deal. Nothing to lose there, only things to gain.

Circumstanital Idiotic Success

I often will envy and criticise celebrities for their unskilled achievements that bring them fame and fortune through circumstances. For example, I don't think football players deserve the pay they receive. I think some teachers deserve higher pay and value. I don't think "Lady Gaga" deserves the praise she gets for making idiotic music videos, bad lyrics and being a shock artist. I think the struggling artist deserves the recognition for highlighting social issues or at least making music that has lyrics that make some kind of goddamn sense.

However, I will be a hypocrite and say that I would totally take advantage of the circumstances too and grasp all that fame and money. I would do one thing differently. I would give back to the community. Not to say that some athletes don't do this, they do, but I think one responsibility that people who are grossly overpaid should be burdened with whether they agree or not is to give back to the community INSIDE THE USA. Fuck other countries, we need to help our own.

If I ever get to the pay grade that I want to be at, I would love to reform education in south Florida and I would lobby to have Florida split into two different states. Fuck north Floridians. They steal all of our taxes and don't give back. Fuck you white republican bastards.

Money and Marraige

To avoid arguments, people who want to engage in a relationship, especially a long one should have a big easy line of communication. One thing though that I think people should not do is have a joint account that they pool their every penny into. I think the two parties should keep personal earnings personal and have one joint account for joint bills, such as food, electricity, cable, water etc...

Is there really any need for one person in the relationship to constantly be nagging the other to not over spend? I don't really think so, don't enable this person by giving them more money, that is just foolish. If they reach a hard limit what else can they do? They can ruin their own credit. If they don't want to listen, that is their problem, just don't get caught up in their mess by entering jointly with them in anything you can't handle yourself.

Slayer Megadeth Anthrax

Bafront park, miami florida, Sunday October 3rd I'm going, platinum seats, which are a step below box seats.

Nuff said.

Fears of Success

I typically will start a project and sometimes never finish it. It isn't usually because I lost interest or something, it is because I am usually afraid of failing to succeed. Which is unfounded because I am not doing the project for anyone except myself. That is the sad part. So I don't know why it happens, but I will make sure to work on it, as it is a big problem.

Relearning

I have finally setup my office for working on electronics and I am very determined to jump in and learn everything well this time around.

I am revisiting some old problems of mine. Understanding how and why to bias a BJT specifically for small signal. For example, why wont a BJT in common emitter configuration without any supporting components, amplify a small signal? It isn't even good enough for unity. I want to understand this.

My approach for learning this stuff is to leave no stone unturned, I need to ask every question so I can learn all theory behind all these passive and transient parts.
I'm curious are memsistors available to play with yet?

Broken Thoughts

I sometimes think I am slightly autistic. I love looking for patterns, I like numbers and organization. I have trouble with large groups of people sometimes and I am for the most part antisocial. I also fall in and out of depression rapidly. Anything can set off my depression because I dwell on things until they are fixed.

I have a very horrible problem with embarrassment. Where if I get into an embarrassing situation, it is burned into my mind and I don't know how to control it, but it makes me anxious and sometimes depressed. No one else can remember, but I do and I remember every aspect. I refer to these memories as huntings because they haunt me daily. Sometimes the memories go away, sometimes they don't and they linger and I feel as if my brain is attacking itself because I get overwhelmed with anxiety. I think of how people think of me, but I try to remind myself that it partially doesn't matter.

Sometimes my brain hangs and I get fixated on something and will do or say things to other people that make no sense.

I have trouble not double checking or triple checking statements, constants or facts that one person will tell me. People take offense to this info.

Sometimes my brain will start thinking about something and I can't focus or pay attention to other people no matter how hard I try.
I am pretty sure I am dyslexic.

Supreme Ruler and Rectifier

I often wonder how could we fix this great country of ours. I'm tired of seeing this great country (USA) being used as a medium for dishonest money making schemes. I really wish however, that there was a way to script something and make it 99% infallible and fair for everyone on how to fix this country.

I would be the single worst person for the job, but I think I could clean up this country. The only problem is, everyone would lose their freedom and I would start killing a lot of people, starting with the racists all the way to the overly rich fucks that currently have all power because of their money. Essentially all people who think irrationally and are incredibly self involved and racist would either be expelled or destroyed.

I would make sure to instill logic and truth into people, but they would have to do it willingly. The people who oppose this change will be expelled or will die if they choose to resist. There will be no hidden messages or euphemisms, only honest truth. Only after these fundamental building blocks are laid down, will the country get its freedom back. However, I know, that if these building blocks are forgotten, it will all be done for naught and history will inevitably repeat itself as it so often does.

Humans are the cancer of the earth.

Two Types of People...

I don't like when people do not plan ahead for certain issues. I am not the type that is "spontaneous", my extent of being spontaneous is seeing a movie on a week night. The reason I don't care for being spontaneous or not planning ahead is it normally ends in some sort of disaster or disappointment either immediately or in the future, usually financially. What especially makes me agitated is when I have friends who are "spontaneous" and want to all of a sudden drive up to Orlando and go to a theme park. Which my brain automatically calculates the cost involved, in time, effort, money and stress.
This can all be summed up into one word, I am a boring person. You know what, I like being boring and I love that my g/f is as boring as me. I love nothing more than waking up on a weekend and just laying in bed all day with my g/f and playing video games or watching movies or TV.

I also like planning ahead especially when it comes to projects. I like to write down or draw out an idea before attempting it. I don't like it when people just want to brute force their way into a big over the top project of any kind.

Royalty Can Suck It

I think that royal families and royalty in general suck. I don't think they have much useful function in general. They are like the first wife of the President of the US. Either they are useless like Barbara Bush or other bush's wife or they try to do good in the world like Jackie-o or Obama's wife.

The part I dislike the most is the incredible amount of waste involved due to greed. Such as ridiculous amounts of jewelry, such as giant necklaces or gold whatever.

Micro controller woes

I am nervous to try to use my micro controller again because I am afraid to mess anything up, but I need to keep reminding myself that it isn't a big deal. I want to start working on some of the physical ideas that I have, but it is kind of like I need a hump to get over. I think I am going to look for a far more reliable way to use these damn things.

I just want to do something fun, like the leave me alone box.ultimately I want to be able to do something bigger without so many goddamn problems that the Mikrochip brand provides.

God of War 3

Fucking awesome game. Make sure to watch the "Making of GOW3" and "Voice Acting" videos they have on the disc. Freaking awesome to find out who did the voices for some of the characters.

I finished the game last night and the ending depressed me.

I am also incredibly disgusted by how complicated it is to make these games. I am in fear of even attempting to work with making a game for the PS3.

Oops

I hate it when I end up talking to a coworker for way too long during work hours about something that is not work related. It is a lot of fun at the time, but it can be incredibly damning and somewhat damaging to both sides involved. I think I have been getting enough work done, but I also talk too much to too many people in the same day. I am trying to minimize the interruptions but sometimes it is unavoidable especially when someone is likable or fun to talk to.

So I need to really work on being quiet. Or stop chatting too much.

Doesn't happen all the time.

Verbal Assault

I went to the movies the other day to see the movie: "Inception" it was an excellent film for the half that I saw. I only really saw half of the film because I was verbally assaulted by some bitch in the theatre. I for one don't give a flying fuck about anything else but the movie that is going to show, so I chat and make jokes until the actual movie begins. It is a good way to pass the commericals until you get to the actual movie you paid to watch.

So while I was bullshitting with a friend, the bitch next to him, some complete stranger, leans over and says with a stern look on her face, "are you going to be talking through the whole movie or are you going to stop when it starts." My buddy answered for me, "We are going to stop when it starts." He answered for me because I think he realized that I was so taken back by how and what this rude bitch said to me, that I pretty much froze as I gave her the death stare. I'm not afraid to admit that if there were no jail consequences I would have beat her to a bloody pulp and possibly killed her, I was that mad. My blood pressure rose to the point where my whole body was throbbing and I was sweating from the heat I was generating. I couldn't calm down or even think straight because all I could think about is choking and killing the bitch that disrespected me like that.

So I missed the first half of the movie because of my anger and hatred of a stranger. What kept me mad is the fact that I couldn't say anything back without getting on her level or without her claiming that I was attacking her since women are always the victims.

Why don't I have a device or the right to combat these people? Simply put it isn't fair that she could say what she said to me and I am not allowed to react. I was only allowed to shut up and deal with it. If I punched her in the fucking face like she deserved, I would be the bad guy and obviously get hauled off to jail for battery.

That's not fair. She can verbally abuse me and make me waste 10 bucks on a movie ticket, but I can't hurt her back.

I guess the underlying idea here is I cannot let people like that ruin my mood and it would be wrong to hurt someone physically because of something they said that hurt my ego/feelings. This is very hard for me to get used to because people like that are allowed to get away with shit like that, its not fair.

Title

So I got the engagement ring, which is about 1/5 of my savings (yay?), at an incredible deal. I can now go back to focusing on savings, loans, new computer and oscilloscope.

I need to come up with a better savings plan. I need to pay down my loans a bit faster and more aggressively. I want a new, more powerful computer for development. And I want an oscilloscope for electronics work.

Efficiency

I just took a process that normally would take an excess of 10 minutes to run and I got it to run in 30 seconds. Talk about efficiency.

Dear noobs and programing fucktards, do not declare variables inside of a loop, especially one that is going to run 11K times. This poor programming and poor for performance since it kills memory in the process.

Think and plan before you write shitty code that will cripple a process.
Noobs have the excuse of being noobs, they don't know any better, but the fucktards do know better and do dumb shit anyhow. People who don't respect the physical process behind programming, the theory or math. They just shrug off or validate their actions with, "ahhh, it doesn't matter"

Yes it does, it matter.

People should train themselves to think in terms of infinity. It works okay for 0 through 10, but how will it react to 0 through 10000? The same with string concatenation, use a fucking string builder goddamn it, is that so hard? If you are concatenating 7 strings or more, your ass needs to use a string builder.

Software

I think it really fucking sucks that I have to bust my ass to upgrade my software. It is going to cost me a small fortune to do it. I need to upgrade my copy of Visual Studio 2008 to version 2010. I need a new copy of windows. Then there is all the shit that comes with that. I need to make sure my copy of Nod Antivirus will work and everything else I have. I think I am going to stick with office 2007 for now, especially since that would cost a mint by itself.

Visual Studio is about 600 bucks, I might just use the express edition.

Windows 7 is about 100 to 135 bucks. However I might have a key that works already, so I would just need to get a copy of it.

Anything that doesn't work with windows 7 will live on Virtual PC 2007. Hopefully 2010 comes out soon.

I need to find the time to plan an upgrade for this. It would be a big pain in the ass to do, but Vista sucks hardcore and is driving me mad with the insane amount of memory it uses for no reason.

Legalized Nose Crack

I have been going to all the different doctors that I have needed to go to now for the last 10-14 years. One of which is an ENT/Allergist. I am very happy I went because he fixed me up well. I now have a happy little bottle of nose crack, which is really a bottle of saline spray with aloe, 3cc of astelin and 3cc of nasal steroid. I am usually opposed to this kind of stuff, but I am desperate to be able to breath again. This spray has changed my life in a way, I have more energy, more alertness, I don't get mega sleepy in the afternoon like I usually do. I feel fucking great. I don't get home and want to fall on to bed.

I knew I was right, that my lack of breathing is a big factor and role in my weight loss, lack of breath and energy.

I owned up to the fact that my thyroid is fucked up and I need to start taking synthroid to correct it. I think my blood sugar, cholesterol and weight will all lower once my thyroid works again. I hate my genetics, but at least I have an out.

Coding Games

I don't understand how people make video games. I can do many complicated things in application form or for web apps. I can write my own ETL code to mess with file imports, but when it comes to video games, I love them, I play them, but I don't understand how the hell people make them.

I am now going to try my best to figure it out using the UDK or the Unreal Developer Kit. This seems like the most promising way to figure it out.

Allergies

I am apparently allergic to dust mites. I looked this up and it seems thought that no one is really allergic to the dust mite itself or dust, but allergic to the dung produced by dust mites. So I now have to get a mattress cover, pillow covers and do a lot of vacuuming whether I like it or not in order to feel a little better. Dust mites hate the sun and dust mites really love dark humid places. I always feel my best when it is cold weather or just cool temperature in my dwelling.

I have a feeling that the nasal spray I am using won't be enough to keep me happy. People always argue that the nasal sprays are addicting and by using them you won't be able to breath without them. My response to that is, I can't breath as is now, making me dependent on a spray wont change what is already for me.

Here is what it feels like to be me, take your hand and close one of your nostrils, stay like that for an hour. You will then see the hell I endure on a daily basis.

Bad Company 2: Techniques

I love this game and I am posting about how to get an upper hand on your opponents by doing a few things a different way:

Sniping

All of the sniper rifles pretty much suck except for the following models, which are all bolt action rifles:

1. M24 - the first gun you get is pretty good

2. GOL - this is the 2nd to last gun, awesome gun

3. M95 - this is the last gun you get and the most powerful

Tips:

Don't fire unless it is a sure thing, this needlessly alerts the enemy and can blow your cover.

Every shot should be a head shot. Firing a second or third time can really blow your cover.

Do your best to calculate and factor in gravity, your bullets will indeed arc down to the ground.

Use the cross hair properly, if you can't spot them (pressing select) they are too far away, this means aim above their head and compensate for gravity.

No shot is too far away to make, just try.

If you can't shoot them, bomb them with mortars.

Always use your motion sensors.

Explosives Techniques

You can put C4 on just about anything, this being the case take out rush objectives or tanks with C4.

You can strap C4 to a UAV and fly it over to the objective, plop the UAV onto the objective and blow it up.

You can strap 2 C4 minimum to any tank and blow it up.

You can strap C4 to an ATV, drive it into anything (like a tank) and blow it when ready.

Tanks are more useful than just blowing shit up, depending on the tank usually you have two types of fire if you are the driver. You can destroy objectives with the tank, you can run people over such as engineers or sneaky snipers.

Always clear away things that block your sight, as stupid as it sounds, clear away trees, they are just another place for the enemy to hide.

Standing shielded machine guns are your friend. You can really mow down enemies with this thing. Clear trees from your view and take far shots, chances are you will kill them.

IIS7 Machine.config Windows Vista

Steps on what to do if IIS7 does not work on Windows Vista, or you get an error about your machine config not working properly.

1. Backup your computer

2. Obtain Windows 7

3. Reformat your primary drive

4. Install Windows 7

5. Restore your files from the backup

6. Use IIS7, it will work now, I promise.

Vista sucks, that is the problem. I could not get a simple hello world web app to run on IIS7 on a Vista machine. I followed the same damn steps with a Windows 7 Machine and it worked just fine. Don't waste your time with IIS7 on Vista.

Title

Sometimes I wish I could just go home and do nothing. I have a number of side projects that are following me around though, which I wish I had more time to focus on, but I haven't been that lucky. What bothers me about growing up is you end up getting out of school which I know for most of us wasn't very desirable anyhow, you start working, making money, but you end up being a slave to your job because you need to pay bills.

The only good news I have is, I have 34K left in loans to pay. I just need to buy an engagement ring for my g/f first which can be close to 2K. Then I will save money a little longer until I have the right amount, then I will start viciously attacking those loans with everything I have. I will pay off 5K of one of my loans, hopefully that will lower my damn payments so that my principle will paid off quicker. Right now I am getting hammered with interest because the federal rates are up there. My private loan has a lower rate, but it is variable which works out well for now until it goes up.

I just can't wait for the day where my loans are paid off and I will have 300+ more dollars of disposable income (or more hopefully).

What would solve all of my problems right now is if I was making 100K+ a year or more. I would definitely have more than enough money to cover all of my expenses, savings and aggressively pay off my loans. I wouldn't have to worry about anything except job loss.

Fuck irrisponsible dog owners

One the number one things to set me off is stepping in dog shit. Out doors is one thing and almost understandable. Inside of a fucking Petco is just goddamn irresponsible and nearly unreasonable. I am searching for cat food (no I don't think cats are perfect) and in my search I step in some dog shit that is all over the floor. Fuck you people with dogs who don't pick up after them.

Dreams

I had a dream about a man bursting into my home and walking into my room. Me sleepy, no glasses, I demand, "who are you, who do you think you are?" That was all...

1997 Kia Sportage

I hate this car. I don't hate it as much as any Ford I have ever worked on, but I hate it anyhow. Changing the fucking spark plugs on this machine was a nightmare to never forget. The asshole who designed the car thought it was a good idea to put an air manifold right over the spark plugs. This forced me to disassemble the manifold, unplug 2 sensors, 4 air hoses, 1 spark plug cover, the throttle cables and the ignition coils. By doing so I found 1 broken hose, messed up air manifold gasket, 1 busted ignition coil and the pcv valve was gunked up to hell. This car was a bastard to work on. Took me 7 hours to work on this, after disassembly, care and cleanup, installation and reassembly. This car is a nightmare.

I plan on doing the alternator and starter next.

Each time I change, clean or upgrade this machine it runs better. However this car sucks.

Hate Kia.

Only thing that is awesome about kia, is they offer their repair manuals for free on their website.

Overwhelmed

I am overwhelmed again, I have too much going on in such a short time and it is really getting to me. I have things I need to take care of for my mother, my putts of a "friend" is getting married so he made me one of his best men. Which now I am thinking he is doing only so I can be a financier for his bachelor party.

My Genes Suck

So lucky me (trust me I know it can be worse), my genes dictate that my cholesterol, blood sugar, weight and blood pressure will all be elevated just because of my parents.

Currently I have the following official problems:

-High cholesterol by 16 points

-I am 1 point away from being diabetic

-I have a broken thyroid that can't seem to behave, my TSH levels are acting like a bipolar person. (hypothyroidism)

-I am allergic to dust mites

So overall I am screwed over because that is just the official stuff. I don't know what other problems I might have.

I need to lose weight and the moment I can breath, I'm sure that will make life a lot easier. I literally only breath out of one nostril. Try that for a moment, close one nostril and breath for 5 minutes. Its horrible, it makes you sleepy and tired for no good reason.

I do not have high blood pressure and I have my triglycerides under control. I lowered my triglycerides by 100 points.

I will lose weight, that will fend off the diabetes. The cholesterol will go down with it.

Lab Corp Sucks

I don't like Lab Corp or other firms like it. I think it is bullshit that doctors offices are outsourcing their phlebotomist work to the companies. There is no personal touch to it when you go to these places. The employees are usually in a bad mood because the patients put them in that state. I don't like how they push you around when you go to these places. Their results are usually inaccurate because they don't calibrate their goddamn analysis machines. They use a different metric than other places to measure how high or low something is in your results.

So apparently the Lab Corp that I go to only when needed (I hate going) changed the software they were using and now their speed dropped below zero. They used to be pretty fast about walk ins and now you pretty much require an appointment or you will sit around for ever. Ridiculous.

Hate lab corp.

Lies for Children

On my own I came to realize something during my silent walk home from school (high school). That thing was it only makes sense in this world, to tell the truth about everything. In order to solve all problems people have with one another on a day to day basis. No lying, except for little white lies (no that dress doesn't make you look fat honey...). I started to realize that the "level and equal playing grounds" or "equal opportunities" were not as available as my parents or teachers would preach and brag about.

I didn't like hearing the lies about how everyone is equal, that is blatantly false. Then there are the "freedoms" we have in the US that are not real. I don't like how children are fed bullshit about being able to do what ever they want in life. It simply isn't true, no one is equal. It is about who you know and how high up they can take you, or the color of your skin, your religion, sexual preferences etc...

The people who would tell me not to judge a book by its cover were wrong, they preach it, but in life this is a major practice by all people. Professionally or unprofessionally these things happen around us. You can't stop peoples' interpretation of you and you can't make everyone happy either. The current truth is, this is a white rich man's world. The people with the money make the decisions and everyone else fights over the scraps.

I never liked hearing, what other people think doesn't matter. Bullshit, it matters because other people's perception of you mainly determines your success. Lets not lie to ourselves. I can give some real simple and basic examples, black people still get a bad wrap because of the color of their skin. They might look intimidating. It isn't fair that people ID black people and fear them immediately. Everyone does that to me too, they look at me and think I am a terrorist when I don't shave for two weeks. To perpetuate the issues, my girlfriend of 6 years is black (I am not black) and people see her with me and think we are a muslim couple (I am not muslim, I was raised jewish, now I am athiest). So from the examples I just gave, you can already see that no one is equal. Those are examples of other people dreaming shit up and judging books by their covers.

In life there are some winners and a whole lotta losers. -GC

Here is a simple lie, this is not harmless, telling children about santa or jesus. They aren't real, they are mechanisms used to discipline children.

Human Relations

What makes two people want to hang out with one another?

What constitutes "Hanging Out"?

From what I have gathered, it has to be more than just similar interests. It usually stems from comfort. If I am hanging out with them and they are too abrasive, then I don't want to hang out with them. I like people who are polite, but fun to be with. I don't particularly enjoy loud noisy clubs where I can't hear the person next to me (sometimes yes). I have been wondering though, what makes people want to hang out?

Honestly speaking, what is there to do as a unit? Not much...

1. You can watch something together. This is the least threatening thing to do.

2. Play something together. Which can be slightly threatening when someone takes the game too seriously.

3. You can sit and talk. This can usually end up in arguments over religion or politics.

4. You can be silent together. One person reads and another can play a game etc in the same room...

5. You can engage in a team sport. Again this can end in a disaster if there is too much arrogance.

I am not sure if I nailed them all, but that is what I have found most of the time. So in reallity, there isn't much.

If I Had a lot of Money

This is actually my favorite thing to think about when I am down, depressed or demotivated. I love thinking about what I would do if I had lots more money than I have now. It doesn't necessarily have to be millions of dollars, but if I made at least 100K a year, which isn't unattainable, I would be tremendously happy. I currently make okay money, but I still pretty much live pay check to pay check. I have student loans, that aren't nearly as bad as other peoples', I only have about 40K of debt, which I already gracefully brought down to about 37-38K. I think about being able to pay all that debt off in one day and it makes me giddy. It would be great cause the 330 dollars I pay to the lenders each month will be money in my pocket. If I could pay off my mother's mortgage, that too would be awesome, she still owes about 100K and her low paying dead end job doesn't help much. I give her about $300 a month for those bills, which sucks for me because after I am finished paying all those debts I hardly have money for savings or disposable income. I don't even spend that much on myself, but when I do it is usually expensive because I like building things or any electronic devices which always translates into either more than $20 or $100 easy.

If I had good money to play with I would save for an endless retirement fund. Its not the best idea but I would put a good chunk of cash in a CD that would guarantee me a salary each year. If I could generate 50K per year in just interest that would be awesome. I know that this requires a serious volume of cash, but I think it is the safest thing I can do. I am incredibly intimidated of getting older for the following reasons:

1. At one point I will have children, even if I don't want any. Children regardless of what anyone says are little bastards, not the wedlock kind, the ungrateful, arrogant, selfish kind. They are dream killers and money suckers. To top it off, when you can semi-carry a conversation with them, they want nothing to do with you... yay children...

2. I know as I get older, if I lose my job during the next economic depression, I will not be able to get another job easily because of age discrimination.

3. I will more than likely get cancer (stop clapping) and I won't be able to recover from the financial burden it will enslave me in. Thanks democrats, republicans, stingy heartless insurance companies and doctors. Capitalism will kill us all one way or another.

4. People tend to die as they get older. This is an inconvenience for me because I have a lot to do. I am not afraid of death, I just like living better.

5. My fuck stick is going to stop working :(

So yeah, getting older...not so much.

I would bring my mother's family over to the US so that they could live comfortably for the rest of their days. They live in Venezuela, nuff said. I would have one condition though, they have to work, learn & speak English and make it on their own. No free rides with me. I will support them to get off there feet, but that is all.

For the record, I am not Hispanic, but I do speak broken Spanish very well. If I had to identify with a group of people it would be the Hispanic population minus the Cubans because Cubans can really suck sometimes (I will explain my positions on Cubans later). If you are Cuban, then understand me when I say I am talking about the stereotypical Cuban, not the normal civilized ones.

I would continue to work even if I had the money to retire care free. It would feel great to know that if I got laid off or fired it wouldn't damage me in the least. At one point I would go back to school and get a degree in math, then move on to a masters in whatever and possibly be a PHD in my field.

One thing that is undeniable is that if you have money you have the power to influence anything you want really... Money and knowledge are power. I would use my money to reform our stupid ass education system starting with the earliest grade of children moving forward. I think the American public education system is a goddamn mess. I cannot speak for all states, but South Florida's system sucks. This is mostly because it is a republican run state with stupid ass republican laws and ideals. I will rant about it later, but it is because of North Florida stealing all of the goddamn tax revenue and using it for their white hick schools, that South Florida suffers. Anyhow, I want everyone to have an equal opportunity.

I would make it a point to have teachers pay increase and to get them the goddamn recognition and respect they fucking deserve. Not these brainless (some aren't) athletes who hardly do anything useful, they are good at sports, but children view them as heros. Talk about having our priorities mixed up.

Milestone

I got engaged today, or rather i proposed to my 7 year sweetheart. She said yes of course. I liked it so much, i put a ring on it.

The Big Four

I saw the Big Four at the theatre the other night (June 22nd 2010) and it was amazing. The big four includes the following who played in this order: Anthrax, Megadeth, Slayer and Metallica. I was really there to go see Megadeth and Slayer, but Anthrax was pretty awesome. I thought Metallica sucked and they pretty much have too much popularity for very little talent. I don't really consider Metallica metal now, as they play very soft music too often now.

Unprofessionalism

So this week Tuesda (06/01/10) a co-worker became an ex-co-worker and now a much hated person. This fuckass took our training courses last week, all week, then fled early on Friday to avoid us. He didn't even fill out the evaluation for the course which was much needed by the professor. This asshole didn't show up this Tuesday, we called and we didn't recieve a reply. Wednesday he didn't show up, we got a call back from his wife who apparently is more of a man than he is, she told us that he is having "issues", so Today my manager gets a half assed email from his indicating that he just can't handle the heat. Fucking pussy bitch, at least put in your 2 weeks!

That is the lowest thing I have ever seen someone do in a work environment is not put in their two weeks. I could care less if someone quits, but not putting in your 2 weeks is total shit. He was a worthless, whiney, old, developer. He was no more a programmer than I am a mechanical engineer. That mother fucker couldn't DEBUG code and had the audacity to use WYSWYG tools as if it was a viable option for the work we were doing. Then he had the nerve to make it seem as if we were the ones who were lame, like we didn't have our shit together. He acted as if he was better than all of us just because a segment of our system is not written well.

I would release his name, but it is too easy to tie it all together.

Fuck you CM. You are a worthless piece of crap and I wish I could have told you this to your face.

Fuck you pussy.

Burst Posting

If you are wondering (not that anyone actually reads my posts anyhow) the reason a lot of my posts show up on the same day sometimes is because I load my GPhone up with them, then I sit down and post all of them at the same time while utilizing spell check etc...

The key to successful innovation

I have realized that the key to successful innovation is to have one main break through and then not have a day job. I have come to realize that people who have discovered amazing things or invented something equally as amazing usually were well off or rich. They had the time and leisure to sit around and think about things all day. They had the time to ponder, experiment and build expensive prototypes. The common person doesn't normally have this kind of opportunity. If they were to try this, they would need a grant or loan to get started. This usually means giving up your day job.

The other ways to be successful in innovation is if you are developing something that deals with your daily work. Or if you are a business owner. Or just a rich bastard. If you are coming up with ideas during your work period, then you are lucky. If you are a business owner, then chances are at one point you can probably sit down and think about how to do something. If you are a rich bastard, then you have all the time in the world to do what ever. If you don't have any of those opportunities, then you are screwed.

Diabetes, air car.

New Horizons Training

I am thoroughly impressed with the courses that the company I work for graciously got for us (I didn't sign anything). It all depends on your instructor of course, the one we had, he knows his shit to the max. He is an consultant for other companies and he does amazing work. Very impressed with him. Not a single power point slide, all practical work. I am pleased to know that most of my practices in code are indeed best practices.

The Power to Threaten

What gives a person, group or entity the power to threaten you? I have been wondering this for a long time now. For example why do entities have the power to threaten your credit or impose nasty fees or bloated rates on you? Where does the government get the power to command you pay taxes or fines? Why can FIU fuck up your financial aid package then demand you give money back after a whole semester has gone by, while threatening you that if you don't pay them you will not be able to sign up for classes or graduate. FIU did that to me twice, they fucked up my financial aid, then asked me to give them 96 dollars back one semester and then 400 dollars back another semester. Fuck Florida International University, fuck it in the retarded sterile golden panther ass.

The answer I have come to realize is all due to the fact that you need them and their services, not the other way around.

I think this is not fair in some cases though. Credit cards and banks for example that they have some stupid ass policies that I think are unfair. For example if you make more than 6 online transfers per month, you get fined 10 dollars. This is a Federal Law, but still I called up my bank and said wtf? They told me I made more than 6 transfers and I told them the usual, "I didn't know, know I know, can you remove that charge?" To which the answer was no always. Not cool. So I thought, why can't I charge them an asshole charge? Why can' I send them a stupid notice that basically says, "I am charging you 10 bucks for being an asshole." Obviously the answer is, I need them, not the other way around.

Stupid Car Design

The kind of car I will not buy is the car that is stupidly put together. So before I even test drive it or look at its body, I pop the hood and inspect the engine. Cars that have hard to locate or to get to parts I would not recommend buying. For example any car where I cannot locate its spark plugs easily is a poorly designed car, if you hide the spark plugs under another car part you have fucked up the design. If I have to cut my knuckles or use a mirror to change a common part, you fucked up the design. If I have to almost remove a tire to change an oil filter, this too is a stupid design.

The main parts I want to be able to get to easily and change are:

Oil filter

Oil pan

Oil cap

Radiator cap

Radiator drain

Spark plugs

Spark plug wires

Air filter

Brak fluid reseviour

Power steering reseviour

I don't think this is asking too much. I have seen cars that let you easily get to these parts. Then there are cars that stupidly fail:

1995 VW Jetta - engine block is held up by its starter motor... stupid idea.

2000 Chevy Lumina - 3 of the spark plugs are almost impossible to get to, you need a mirror to change the plugs and you need to be on top of the engine to do it. You will cut your hands easily.

You need to blindly insert the plugs, this is nerve racking.

Changing the oil on this car is fairly easy, but the oil spills all over the goddamn chassi, as the oil filter is located just above a frame bar. Good job retards.

1997 Murcury (Ford) Grand Marquis - to change the starter on this car you are requires to have child hands and to be a contortionist. It was very very hard to do, it was located deep inside the chassi and had to be done under neath the car. Changing the oil filter required moving the wheel all the way to the right (or was it left?). Its a ford, of course it sucked.

199x Ford Focus LX - fuck this car. Such a small car requires such a giant crappy 4 cylinder engine? Changing the serpentine belt was a mission and nearly impossible. It required dissassembling the goddamn mud gaurd at the bottom of the car. No room for adult male hands to do this. No easy way to relax the belt tensioner! Fuck ford.

1997 Kia Sportage 4 cylinder - changing the belts on this car is not so simple, you need to get under the car to loosen a tensioner. You need to remove nearly the entire air intake system in order to change the spark plugs. The car is flimsy in every sense of the word. The lock cylinders suck, you can force them open. The door handles might as well be made of paper mache.

The New Plan

This new found energy and freedom from not living in hell anymore aka Kendall is very awesome. I plan on having fun with it and I think I am going to either take on drawing or learning something new on my own. I have not drawn a single thing in over a year. I had so many ideas and motivations and I never got to act on any of them. I am excited about the free time I have now, I have been wasting a lot of it on gaming, which truly is a waste of time, but has been a lot of fun.

Things to Point Out

I sometimes think about certain things that don't fit a pattern and I dwell on them untill I find the pattern, here are some:

All people are selfish and act out of selfishness no matter the intended action.

No baby ever choses to be born.

Americans use the weight dimension instead of the mass dimension to measure an object's weight/mass. Europeans use the mass dimension instead of the weight dimension.

American- W in pounds force (lbf) and m in slugs

European- W in Newtons and m in kilograms

People are incorrectly taught what multiplication is when they are learning it for the first time in school. If you think the correct symbol for the multiplication operation between two numbers is an "x" then you are wrong. It is actually a dot that floats above the line. I will use an asterix to demonstrate: *

The dot represents scalar multiplication, where as the "x" represents cross multiplication. They are different.

People who live alone hardly open their mouths.

Disabled Sympathy

I never understood the error behind using the over sized stall in the bathroom for people in wheel chairs when the stall is vacant. However, this has only happened to me twice where all the stalls are in use and the only one available is the over sized stall, so I use it. Two times a person in a wheel chair comes over and tries to open the door, then grunts "this is a handicapped stall, you don't have a wheel chair." The first time it happened I was so shocked I didn't say anything and I hurried up and got out. The second time I said "I need to shit too, this was the only open stall, wait your turn."

The point is, someone who is disabled can make you look like a monster when you least expect it. And you don't deserve it either.

I was in NY once and I was taking the LIRR, I happened to sit in the back of the train car and I didn't realize that is where disabled people sit. A blind man got on the train and sat on me, which didn't bother me, I moved over and I tried helping him. Next thing I know two blond bimbos get on the train and the blind dude's walking stick was blocking the walk way, so the bimbos started barking like bitches and the blind dude wouldn't know any better cause he is BLIND. So I told them, give him a break he is blind, I then told the blind man to please move his walking stick as two blond bimbos are trying to get by. Since he was only blind and not deaf, I think he didn't liked how I mentioned that he was blind. He got agitated. Again, not my fault, I called it as I saw it, I will admit, not the most sensitive, but in the span of 5 seconds that was the best I could come up with. I was only trying to help.

I worked at a university once for 3 years in their media department, we would lend out equipment to students and faculty. The rule for scheduled equipment was, if you want it, you need to come get it or your student needs to come get it. When it comes to disabled people, they were the exception, we needed to deliver it for them, but we would ask that they send a student to come get it. One day, my luck, I get a retard who somehow is faculty. When I say retard though, I mean retarded, he walked weirdly, he had a crutch in both hands, his legs were crippled, he was a weird black version of Jimmy from South Park, except he told no jokes and he was an asshole. This tard asked for equipment, no problem, he then demanded I deliver it for him, my boss told me to tell him he needed to tell a student to come pick it up. So I did, he then tells me in a tard voice "cAn'T yoou c tha I ayM deesAbuLed?" I guess he thought I was telling him to come get the equipment himself. So I explain to him again, (he is very slow...) that he needs to ask a student to come get the equipment for him. He then gets mad and proceeds to leave. Later we get a nasty email from his tard department telling us I was rude to him and I told him he needs to pick up the equipment himself. Obviously not true... fucking retard liar.

The Mentally Disabled

 

The position I have on the disabled is very simple and I honestly think everyone should have the same feelings as me about this. The mentally disabled are a burden on society, some worse than others, those who are high functioning with just a small screw loose aren't the issue, those who are completely useless however are worthless and often enough don't even know what is going on around them. I am not saying we should kill retards, I am saying however that people that knowingly have bad genes should be barred from having children as they will only bring burden to society with their selfishness. I think it is a crime to have children when you know the chances of you having a broken child is very real. It is not fair for society to deal with it and isn't fair for the child. Children don't choose to be born; parents make the choice and are very selfish about it too.

Michael Trent Reznor

I don’t usually obsess over other people (unless it is my fiancé), but I can seriously say I have only a handful of people that I am just disgustingly impressed with. The number one person that I wish I could meet and speak to because we both had the same ideas and ideals is George Carlin, but he died before that thought could ever come to fruition. Makes me sad, but then again the chances of my meeting and or speaking to him never would have happened anyhow. The same goes for Trent Reznor, who is a lyrical genius and musical visionary. I like how he has shaped his music, realistically speaking I can’t say everything he has released has been up to his initial standards, but that is okay it is just a fact of life with musicians for some reason. For example, when an artist does his best work while being drugged, leave him alone and let him produce otherwise you get crappy music like after Everclear cleaned up their drug habits, absolutely terrible music after they cleaned up. Let’s not forget Stone Temple Pilots and their whole clean up, blech… Now this excludes Reznor as far as I can tell, he had a drug problem too and was suffering from depression like the rest of us have and still do, but I don’t think those addictions made it into his music. I think his lessons made it into the music, what he learned etc. but I don’t think it was a driving factor. His depression on the other hand I could definitely hear in his music. His music, the lyrics, drove me growing up from high school all the way to now. I went to my first NIN concert recently about a year ago, a few months right after an Iron Maiden concert and I have to say I was disappointed; it was good I got to see Reznor perform in person, but it was missing something. I don’t feel like his heart was totally into it. I saw him at the NinJa concert; they had the Street Sweeper Social Club as the warm up band, quite damn good by the way, then Nine Inch Nails and lastly Janes Addiction. I don’t like Janes Addiction at all, they had 3 good songs and that is about it. I love NIN though, my favourite songs are Hersey, Metal and Only. He recently decided that this is his last tour for a while and he is putting NIN to bed for now. He has started a new band with his new Hot Asian Wife and I hope they make beautiful music together (pun intended?).

His music moves me in ways I can’t describe, I feel like the words he speaks are always so spot on and he never strays from the mark. Not that he is infallible, but his music is close to the most perfect I can find. I love it all… I can’t wait to get that first “How to Destroy Angels” album… which apparently is free for download at the moment, which is fucking awesome. Ever since Reznor broke it off with his initial douche bag label he has been releasing some free albums here and there. So far I got “The Slip”, “Ghosts” and “How to Destroy Angels” for free all thanks to Trent. I will literally buy anything he releases (except for certain remixes of songs I have heard millions of times) and I say he, because if he is involved I want in. I can’t wait for them to go on tour.

Colon Health

If you can't shit right or at all for days at a time, you have got a big problem. There are some people who are naturally irregular because their colons don't work fast enough. Then there are people who just abuse their bodies. Even if you don't like it you should eat green leafy stuff and other vegetables. Essentially you need fiber and lots of it. If you are eating mostly protein, starch and fat then you are hurting your body.

Things that will make your colon unhappy and possibly even cause constipation is anything with caffeine in it, things with an abundance of sugar or salt and massive stress or just unrest.

Relaxation and stress management is important to keep you regular. What I think people need to be more socially aware of is that their feces can tell them what is going on in their body very easily. If your shit smells unusually strong to the point where your eyes water, you need to rethink your diet, cut back on red meat. If it is too sticky and hard to come out, cut back on the starch and fried foods. If it is black, you need to be careful you could be bleeding internally which can lead to sepsis.

You should not eat too much red meat in a week. I recommend avoiding it, the fibers are too strong and it usually isn't digested right.

Life, STD, LTD and X Insurance

I had to sign up for my for my company benefits and one thing that confuses the hell out of me is the different insurances that I should probably buy into, but don't always buy into. These insurances confuse the hell out of me because I don't fully understand if I am getting a good price or not and it isn't easy like getting car insurance or looking up health insurance. I need to figure out if I should go with my company's offer or if I should use an insurer like MetLife or Aflak etc...

Not to mention this shit is depressing. We are banking on me dying, getting seriously I'll or becoming disabled in some form or another. I hate thinking about any of this stuff... I can hardly think of how I am going to retire, I don't want to be fixated on how I am going to die or be screwed over for the rest of my life.

Title

I have been busy unpacking as of late, things have been absolutely nuts lately, but no matter what, as long as I am out of Kendall, I feel that much better. I went shopping and to some random places and it took all of 10-20 minutes to do. The whole experience was very rewarding; unlike the 1-2 hour black hole that is Kendall traffic, due to over population and bad urban development.

I have been busting my ass lately, but you know what, I feel great. Soon enough I am going to have to get down and start designing something or working on something. I have the learning bug back. I am going to start exercising too again. I plan on losing 20 lbf, I already lost 15 lbf.

Post Move 2

I am still feeling fantastic, that drive was destroying me from the inside. I am now going to the bathroom twice a day without an issue now, whereas before I was so uptight, I wouldn't go at all sometimes. My stomach isn't in a knot and my general mood has picked up. I can't wait to see the savings I should be getting from all this.

Don Wanna Do Nothin

I hate days where after I wake up I can already tell the rest of the day is going to be very hard to get through. The reason being I am not focused or just very fucking tired. I spent my weekend moving boxes and doing repairs, my feet hurt like hell and my whole body is achy. I want to just go to sleep but I can't because when I get home later I am going to need to put together the last of my closet. I need to be able to hang my clothes which would be immensely useful in getting rid of boxes.

Post Move

The actual move sucks, but the satisfaction of waking up in the new place is very rewarding. Even though every muscle in my body hurts right now, I feel super awesome right now, excited. All of the negative energy and anxiety I had this past week is now gone. I feel great, even though I just spent 300 dollars to do the move (600 between me and the g/f), totally worth it. I hardly had to move anything; I chose to help in order to speed it up since it was hourly. I didn't have to drive; I didn't have to get a truck, insurance or anything else. I packed and moved stuff to the front that is all. Awesome... now the big unpack. I already got the TV and internet going, just need to get settled. The drive to work this morning was euphoric.

I love how the traffic I deal with now is nothing in comparison to that of Kendall. It took me 10 minutes to get from my house to the highway, with traffic and 10 minutes to get from i95 to my job. It doesn't get much better than that.

For comparison in Kendall, I would take the 826 to i95 to work, but first the local roads:

-Miller drive, sunset drive or bird road to the 826 would take 30 minutes to 1 hour.

-826 to I95 would take 30 minutes to an hour.

-I95 to work 10 minutes (no accidents)

I hate Kendall

My Boss is a Douche

This is the same boss I have been complaining about in other posts. He pisses me off because he doesn't know how to be a manager; he is very snake like and unfair most of the time. He takes everything personally, no matter what it is, bottles it up and uses it as a decision mechanism for work related things. He holds grudges and doesn't like arguing or confrontation, plus he is a back stabber and wants everyone to like him anyhow. He is lazy and wants to get by as easily as possible.

My number two issue with this guy is (number one is he can't manage a group or team to save his life) he is invading my personal time forcefully. He is making it mandatory that we participate in team activities after work and he took away our Wednesday lunch time so we can watch webinars. I don't mind doing these things, but only at my own will. I think it is unfair and unprofessional for him to put us under a microscope when someone decides they don't want to participate or they will be late to an event or leave early. He takes it personally and that shows that he is not fit to be a manager.

Stupid douche…

HOW TO: Use Credit Cards Properly

I am tired of people always saying that credit cards are the devil and that you will just end up in debt using them. This is far from the truth. This is usually info coming from people who can't manage money well or have seen other people get burned by their credit cards.

Let’s dispel some things right now:

· Credit cards are a cash supplement

· Credit cards are NOT free money

· Credit cards are just a way for you to borrow money from yourself

Here is the key to using a credit card or several:

· Memorize you closing date

· Pay your bill at least one week ahead of the due date

· Pay your bill in FULL

If for whatever reason, in a non emergency, you accrue interest on your credit line, then YOU SHOULD NOT USE CREDIT CARDS BECAUSE YOU SUCK AT HANDLING MONEY. The fix for this is to stop using your credit cards and use a debit card instead. End of discussion.

If you ever say to yourself, "this is too expensive, ahhh... just put it on the credit card." And you know you can't afford it, YOU SHOULD NOT USE CREDIT CARDS BECAUSE YOU SUCK AT HANDLING MONEY.

The whole point is to use credit cards as if you were paying cash up front. A credit card is just a helpful tool for handling expenses and it is a safe way to spend money with an added layer of protection. There is no direct access to your bank account information and you can usually dispute charges.

Credit card companies thrive on mooks who know dick about handling money. This usually targets brainless people who live above their means to show off. Don't be a mook, be smart and don't lie to yourself about something you will have to pay off. Never make partial or minimum payments, this is a terrible scam. Do not pay yearly credit card fees, this is pointless.

Be smart and use credit cards responsibly. I have four and I rotate the one a week of the month. It helped me build my credit. Unfortunately, if you have a credit card for too long you are married to it and you cannot cancel it. If you cancel it, it will kill your credit score so be careful. Don't believe me? Call a bank or your credit card company for verification. I kid you not.