Dying in your Sleep

So it is confirmed I have sleep apnea. I finally got a sleep study done and that is the result. I am not surprised in the very least because I have known for a long time now I just didn't have proof because insurance is retarded. Especially Aetna, fuck Aetna.

I wake up 12 times an hour while i am sleeping. That means i am having 12 apnea events an hour. Which means I stop breathing 12 times an hour. I only absorb about 87% of the oxygen I take in. That's bad because the norm is 90% to 95%. So I am going to be using a CPAP machine to fix everything up, but I have to go for another sleep study which will be a titration sleep study. They will determine what they need to set the machine to.

I need surgery. Plain and simple. I keep fucking telling these doctors I need surgery and they want to give me drugs. I don't fucking want drugs I will be slave to for the rest of my life. I want surgery to fix the fucking problem. I have an obstructed airway. Namely through my fucking nose which is stopped up all of the time because of allergies. Fuck the human body. Worthlessly designed crap.

I have been pretty goddamn depressed lately and I am waiting to come out of the funk. Been in the funk for about 2 weeks now. I am tired of it. Feeling very insecure and just sad about being depressed which makes me more depressed.

I want to do something. I want to build something awesome and sell it and I think I will do that soon. I just need to get out of this fucking funk.